Feel too unattractive for love?

[DrsJacksonn]

Well I probably am too unattractive. I look like a damn clown, I'm like 7 feet in lenght and 2 inches in width, I casually make a fool of myself. But that's not what I worry about, I worry about not being good enough for a certain girl...

 

[Luke1993]

Thanks -- I'll have to take your word for it. ::

I have this chart I like to use 'Online Compliments' - you're all welcome to use it.

Cute = I’m being nice – But no thanks.

Good Looking = Not bad.

Attractive = You're hot!

Handsome = You will do.

Hot = Oh yeah!

A fantastic chart there, I will make sure to use it for future reference! Thank you!

 

[userremoved]

I used to feel this way when I was still in school, but I'm not so sure if that's the case because of some of the couples I see now my age. I think the real problem is the fact that when that time comes when women have shown interest in me, my running from them most likely looked like rejection from their point of view. Which is why I've been told to my face that I'm "stuck up". At this point though I don't feel anyone is too unattractive for real love though.

 

[Square_Eyes]

I despise everything about my appearance. I'm no fool, I can see the disgust in people's eyes when they look at me. I know the world is a big place full of differing tastes and tolerances but what use is that knowledge to me really when I do everything in my power to stay hidden from it.

 

[Hellhound]

Some people actually really like those characters....

I often feel too unattractive for love as well. But I try to tell myself that it's all in my head. So what if I don't have a full head of hair? So what if I have extra baggage and no style? Sure, I rarely talk to others; and when I do talk I tend to dwell on things like one of Paganini's violin compositions or the World War II book I'm currently reading. But isn't that better than having a few drinks and singing along to the music in my head? And is it really such a big deal that I'm unemployed, have no degree, and will never be fabulously wealthy or successful?

I try to tell myself that I'm worth loving, too. At least until I look in a mirror, step on a scale, or try to play anything by Paganini. But how many people can actually play Paganini? How many people ever try? Sure, I sometimes wonder what evils I'm capable of, but then I just think of all the good I've done. And several years ago I learned how to juggle 3 balls. I never learned to juggle 4, but that doesn't make me any less lovable than someone who can juggle 5.

The bottom line is that you can't expect love from someone else when you don't even get any from yourself. I'll never be the slim, long-haired musician, falconer, and wealthy ladies' man I'd like to be, but I'm learning to love myself for who I am. I still don't feel good enough for the stunningly beautiful women who catch my eye, but I'm trying not to let that stop me.

Hey, thanks! I guess you're right... I shall try to remember this whenever I get depressed over these kind of things. It's hard to re-program your mind after it has been negative for over two decades, but I try. I guess the more I try, the more chances I'll have... huh? (I hope)

 

[flakeybark]

if somebody only liked you for your looks wouldn't you be feeling slightly ripped off? i know i would

 

[hoddesdon]

I am not being facetious in saying that perhaps there should be a social phobia dating site. That way there are no problems with lack of understanding from others.

 

[Hellhound]

if somebody only liked you for your looks wouldn't you be feeling slightly ripped off? i know i would

Yeah, I get what you mean and I would too. On a second thought, it would be nice to feel comfortable with myself for at least once... It would be nice to stop feeling that I am this psycho monster that everyone hates. I don't know... I'm talking crap.

 

[flakeybark]

Yeah, I get what you mean and I would too. On a second thought, it would be nice to feel comfortable with myself for at least once... It would be nice to stop feeling that I am this psycho monster that everyone hates. I don't know... I'm talking crap.

yeah i hear you. that bitch named low self esteem has been riding my ass for a long time too.

 

[Hellhound]

yeah i hear you. that bitch named low self esteem has been riding my ass for a long time too.

Same here It sucks.

 

[Tiercel]

Well that was actually very inspiring. I think you sound like a wonderful and very deserving person and one day you'll find someone who fits and is your perfect match. Besides guys who like classical music and enjoy history are a lot more attractive then guys who have absolutely no common sense or brains in their head. You'll meet someone just keep thinking like that!

Glad I could help, and thanks for your encouragement!

Hellhound, it can be difficult trying to change one's outlook. But as long as you keep trying, who knows what might happen?

 

[planemo]

Hellhound, it can be difficult trying to change one's outlook. But as long as you keep trying, who knows what might happen?

That really is the difficult part, to change ones outlook. For me it's virtually impossible, I just can't see anyone seeing any good in me from a physical and psychological point of view. I think it's far easier to give up.

Wish it wasn't so.

 

[userremoved]

That really is the difficult part, to change ones outlook. For me it's virtually impossible, I just can't see anyone seeing any good in me from a physical and psychological point of view. I think it's far easier to give up.

Wish it wasn't so.

It will probably take someone else to help you see something good. Unless for some reason you get a boost of confidence from absolutely nowhere. I know for a lot of us, we've had people give us negative messages about ourselves for so long that it is definitely quite hard to see any good whatsoever.

 

[humansrare]

I'm not very insecure about my appearance; I just obsess and worry about what I say/do. I completely shut down in front of people. That in itself is unattractive. So at the very same instance I attract a guy, that's all washed away once he sees how I act.

I've only ever been in two relationships. Neither of them broke up with me because of my social problems, but I could tell I was frustrating them. They're not as shallow as I thought they were. ::
actually, I'm the shallow one, thinking I could keep men interested in me if I just look pretty for them.

 

[oh2bepretty]

The terrible thing is that when I am objective I understand the POV of the other person. If I were in someone else's shoes I would not be attracted to me either. That is the part I absolutely hate, that I don't hate the guys that are not attracted to me. I set up friends sometimes and try to be supportive of their relationships because I would not with this loneliness on my worst enemy.

 

[mismeek]

i feel like a freaky ogre most days..
*Sigh*

 

[Nocer]

psychopaths dont need love

RUn!

 

[illuminationSP]

actually, I'm the shallow one, thinking I could keep men interested in me if I just look pretty for them.

Yeah, I have a tendency to believe I'll only find love if I'm looking my best, or that someone will stick around if I'm flawless. Recently, I began trying to change thinking like this. I really hope people aren't as obsessed with these things as I am.

 

[AimeeSP]

Simple answer yes. I'm just too conscious of any type of flaw, real or imagined. Because of this and my shyness, I will probably be alone forever. : (

Me too. ::
I feel too fat, too ugly, too shy etc.

*Big hugs*

 

[oui]

Yes. I know looks are what initially hook a man, so I've given up completely. Family might say upon inquiry, "You're cute," but I know they're just being nice.