Easier for girls to get boyfriends even with social phobia

[LadyWench]

Let's face it; It's so much easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than the other way around isn't it. I notice that so many girls who are shy and social phobic are in relationships, so it can't be much of a disability for them can it? I think it's so much harder for shy/social phobic guys like me.

It's probably because MANY girls are just plain b*tches.

 

[Krista]

I don't think this is true and I'm unsure of why guys assume this? Just because boys have raging hormones doesn't make our search to find a mate any easier than guys have with securing a girl. No guy wants to talk to a bumbling, reclusive girl who has no confidence in herself, if anything they make fun of girls like that. How does that make it easier for us?

 

[chained]

well if it is, I am an exception, and maybe the girls u've seen on the forums who have a bf, arent that shy..

 

[Felgen]

A lot of the men here in their 30's haven't even kissed a girl--so yes, it's easier to women. I'm not trying to start a pissing contest here, but men are the ones who have to make the approach. Men also care less about experience, income or how many friends you have.

I'm not saying that it's "easy" to women, though. My uncle has a sister that's very pretty, but at the age of 36, she has never been married, she has no kids and have not had a long-term relationship during the years I've known her. She's both kind, caring and intelligent, but she is shy.

And chained: You're not ugly or anything like that, you just have to get yourself out there. This is hard, but begin by taking small steps. If you don't feel like going to a bar (a lot of women don't), try creating a profile on a dating site or do voluntary work.

 

[Krista]

A lot of the men here in their 30's haven't even kissed a girl--so yes, it's easier to women. I'm not trying to start a pissing contest here, but men are the ones who have to make the approach. Men also care less about experience, income or how many friends you have.

I'm not saying that it's "easy" to women, though. My uncle has a sister that's very pretty, but at the age of 36, she has never been married, she has no kids and have not had a long-term relationship during the years I've known her. She's both kind, caring and intelligent, but she is shy.

And chained: You're not ugly or anything like that, you just have to get yourself out there. This is hard, but begin by taking small steps. If you don't feel like going to a bar (a lot of women don't), try creating a profile on a dating site or do voluntary work.

Though I don't agree men have to make the first move and it's sad it's expected of them, there's no saying that men's shyness outweighs a woman's more. Because that's what this comes down to..you said it yourself to Chained.."you just have to get yourself out there" so why can't men do the same? I'll take whatever initiative I have to if I like a guy even if it is making the first move. Does it scare the living hell out of me, yes because I also fear rejection. Just seems to me that no matter it being a guy or girl, if they haven't even kissed someone by that age like you pointed out that isn't the opposite sexes fault it seems like they're own doing.

 

[Felgen]

Though I don't agree men have to make the first move and it's sad it's expected of them, there's no saying that men's shyness outweighs a woman's more. Because that's what this comes down to..you said it yourself to Chained.."you just have to get yourself out there" so why can't men do the same? I'll take whatever initiative I have to if I like a guy even if it is making the first move. Does it scare the living hell out of me, yes because I also fear rejection. Just seems to me that no matter it being a guy or girl, if they haven't even kissed a girl by that age like you pointed out that isn't the opposite sexes fault it seems like they're own doing.

I didn't say that it was anyone's fault, but the unwritten rule is that the guy makes the approach. Because of this, one out of ten 25 year old men are virgins.

By "getting yourself out there" I meant that a girl can't meet a guy if she doesn't go out. Men don't knock every door they pass to see if there's a girl behind it.

 

[Kat]

If it wasn’t for the internet I know I probably wouldn’t have anyone, and that didn’t happen until I was 20.

I, know it can seem a bit fake when you say everyone (excluding a few bad apples that usually get taken care of) you all have a lot going for you.

The right one’s out there.

 

[userremoved]

maybe the girls u've seen on the forums who have a bf, arent that shy..

Maybe this is what it comes down to. I used to think that women had it easier but now I'm not so sure. Even if they do get approached by a man a lot of the really shy ones either don't know how to show interest back, doesn't know how to flirt or can't carry a conversation in general. All of which would turn a guy off to trying any further unless he understood what was going on. A lot of times that shyness can be misinterpreted as being stuck up or emotionally cold, so yes they may get approached more than we shy guys do, but that doesn't mean they'l keep those mens attention for longer than 5 mins.

 

[Nack]

You'll also notice single mothers out there strolling their child around :\ That mean something right?

 

[Damaged]

I think it might be a little true, guys who have confidence can talk to any type of girls and make them feel comfortable. Some girls dont like making the first move or start talking to guys first so that leaves the shy guys out.(if that makes sense haha)

Saying that i think it'd be pretty easy for me to find someone, i don't let my problems get me down and get in the way, i'm being single for me right now though =D

 

[NinjaLikesToast]

I'm gay and that throws a whole new mechanic into the dating situation. Suffice it to say that it definitely sucks for me. I hate to compare the male experience to the female experience when it comes to dating, but I'd have to say I think it's harder for guys. I mean it really is on our shoulders to go out there and try to meet the girl/guy of our dreams, but it's not easy if you're shy and not good looking enough to turn heads without words.

I really feel for other guys because I know it can make you feel weak and sometimes you wonder if, perhaps, you'll be romantically alone for your whole life. The thought terrifies and depresses me.

I totally understand you ljwwriter. I am not gay, but I would say most people see me as being far more sensitive/feminine than the average guy. My biggest problem with talking to girls, or anyone, is I always feel like I will just be bothering them and getting in the way. And with that dilemma, it's nearly impossible for me to start a conversation.

 

[madness_lover]

=[..

Guess I never gave it a lot of consideration how hard it was for the other side. Perhaps in reality it is equally difficult for both. Men are expected to be the pursuers but women are expected to do most of the work. It is contradictory at times. There's a whole bible of rules out there (Just check out the latest Cosmopolitan issue) and sometimes it can be a little overwhelming. Shy girls can be cute but they also run the risk of being regarded as easy prey or the dreaded 'nice' girl (aka eternal friend zone).

Personally, I have never bought into the whole 'men are the ones that do the pursuing' thing. Maybe that's why I'm still single? lol. Don't get me wrong, I like doing a little hunt but I love being pursued as well. Why shouldn't I? If a woman likes something why not go for it? Or at the very least show she's interested. Waiting around to be asked can get a little boring .

 

[da_illest101]

on the real it doesn't matter for who it is more easy or not, you want something go get it ... lol i wish i would follow my own advices

 

[Island_chic]

I know it's hard enough for me. I walk around singleless everyday.

 

[Da Kid]

Statement is too true, eventhou there are a lot of other things that go into the decision. In most places, girls are the minority, and are then hunted by the more confident guys while the other guys kinda wait back. Plus, not having to make the first move means they just have to accept the invitation. But, it also falls on the guy who expects something to just fall out of the sky onto their lap. If u want something in this life, u gotta work for it, regardless of looks, sex or personality.

 

[spect01]

Let's face it; It's so much easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than the other way around isn't it. I notice that so many girls who are shy and social phobic are in relationships, so it can't be much of a disability for them can it? I think it's so much harder for shy/social phobic guys like me.

This was posted in 2007 but you are 100% right. It's just the way it is. I've seen it. ::

It think it's true. Guys with strong personalities prey on shy girls and the shy girls gives in.

Yes. Exactly.

 

[Johno]

Maybe you should hang around girls a little more.... Girls can be quite forward in my opinion..... You need to just hang out with girls more..... Just be friends with them and see what happens...... Forget about wanitng a girlfriend...... Just hang out with some girls......That's my advice

 

[Johno]

Now Island chick is worth saying hi to... Hi Island chick, how are things in the big uSA???? Where you from in the USA???? You look like a NEW Yorker.....

 

[Pookah]

Now Island chick is worth saying hi to...

Tell the truth are all these threads to complain that you can't get the kind of idealized girl you want? Or seriously that you can't get any girl to show interest?

There will always be gender differences but attracting a mate is seriously hindered by SA for both sexes. Worse if you are not considered good looking.

 

[Luke1993]

I don't think we will ever know the answer to this because....both sides are biased! Men will say "Yes women have it easier!" and the women will say "No we don't have it easier!" and since there's only men and women on this planet, we won't get a neutral answer!

But honestly.....women have it SO much easier