Easier for girls to get boyfriends even with social phobia

[elfkin]

as a girl with sa i must tell you it is not easier in any way, i am too nervous to go out with someone without being in love with the person first, and regardless of the fact that i have been out with a few people it was only after yrs of being on medication, but all they were doing was taking advantage of someone they have seen as an easy mark. every time it has crushed me so bad and destroyed any little self confidence i have, i cannot even imagine someone wanting to be with me for real let alone actually loving me anymore. to say girls have it easier is just not true, at least you dont get abused because of your vunerabilities. Another thing is with guys who show a little interest in me seem to expect me to be all over them instantly, or they just go and find someone else. being unconfident/shy as a girl seems to be unnatractive to most guys, and they consider me not worth the effort.

 

[SoulSeeker]

Im really shy and awkward/uneasy too..pretty much constantly. It does worry me being like this. I hope by meeting the right person..she will understand why i am awkward and so unstable..right from the start...but still like me. Then allow us to slowely but surely find strength within each other. Even if the relationship was so fragile and stressful at the begining..i would hope and pray that 'love' would eventually win...and we'd start to calm down as a couple...and start to feel happiness in trust and loyalty.

 

[Felgen]

as a girl with sa i must tell you it is not easier in any way, i am too nervous to go out with someone without being in love with the person first, and regardless of the fact that i have been out with a few people it was only after yrs of being on medication, but all they were doing was taking advantage of someone they have seen as an easy mark. every time it has crushed me so bad and destroyed any little self confidence i have, i cannot even imagine someone wanting to be with me for real let alone actually loving me anymore. to say girls have it easier is just not true, at least you dont get abused because of your vunerabilities. Another thing is with guys who show a little interest in me seem to expect me to be all over them instantly, or they just go and find someone else. being unconfident/shy as a girl seems to be unnatractive to most guys, and they consider me not worth the effort.

There are far more 40 year old male virgins than 40 year old female virgins; so yes, it's easier to women. Keep in mind that there's a difference between easy and easier.

 

[userremoved]

I think it's easier for girls to hook up with someone... If a girl goes to a club with the intention of hooking up, some guy will take her, it's not really a challenge. Whereas a guy goes to a club looking to hook up? He may end up going home alone. A twisted reflection on sexual conflict/evolution. haha just kidding...

But dating? I'm not sure girls have an easier time, we just face different challenges. It's is totally way harder for boys in terms of "making the first move" and asking out girls, but for girls it's hard to even catch the attention of a guy so he will ask you out. I went to the Stampede with my friend, we both dressed up really pretty and I had guys coming up to me going "oh your friend is so hot". Ouch. just ouch. What do I even say to that? Thank you? As if I'm responsible for her being hot lol. Did they think I was going to help them with the hook up? They basically just insulted me! Insensitive I tell you.
Often girls do the "sneaky first move" as I like to call it. It's where they try and manipulate the guy into asking them out, because often the girl lacks the confidence to ask the guy out herself. Flirting with him, asking him to "hang out", stuff like that.
And guys, lets be honest. If a girl just randomly approached you and asked you out, you'd probably reject her or get awkward about it.

Both guys and girls have pretty steep expectations to meet when it comes to dating, I think.

Yeah he probably thought you would hook him up for some reason or that was a very VERY bad pick up line of his lol.

 

[userremoved]

Yes, I couldn't agree more. I would also respect a man who was honest enough to say that all he wanted was sex. None of the bull-**** compliments, laughing at the stupid **** you say and none of the feigning interest in what you're saying.

Well the problem is the fact that if thats the kind of guy he is, then your respect is the least of his concerns. So hes most likely going to lie anyways. =/

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

There are far more 40 year old male virgins than 40 year old female virgins; so yes, it's easier to women. Keep in mind that there's a difference between easy and easier.

I believe she was referring to getting a boyfriend, not getting laid.

 

[AGR]

Well the problem is the fact that if thats the kind of guy he is, then your respect is the least of his concerns. So hes most likely going to lie anyways. =/

yep and thats when you look at the guys past history and try to make an educated guess imo,sometimes judging is good to the contrary than some people here will tell you.

 

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

First of all, just too many shallow people out there. No one starts out as friends first mostly. Women and men go by what's on the outside. Jesushasomeoneforme. Amen

 

[userremoved]

Be that as it may in some cases, I've known a guy who was not interested in serious relationships who didn't make it a secret that he was basically just looking for sex and a good time. He and I got along pretty well. There existed a mutual respect between him and I and we never lied to one another because there was no need to. Not all men who aren't into serious relationships (and mostly interested in sex) are lying bastards. They're obviously not good candidates for serious relationships, but they make good friends.

I can see your point now, I would expect only honesty from a friend as well.