Easier for girls to get boyfriends even with social phobia

Doomed2Die

Doomed2Die

Well-known member
Yeah I have always thought the same, seems much more girls have 'boyfriends' than guys have 'girlfriends'. I really cannot think much about it at the moment since I'm so damned tired. :? .

Yet maybe its because according to the bible women were designed by god to support men and thusly are with them more *shrug*. While men are less needy, maybe this is shown in women who are more emotional (generally girls are more so than guys)? Again im tired so cut me some slack.

As for the 'creepy' factor in guys, who STILL manage to pair up with a girl my only explanation is that they are both rather seedy and will probally split up in a short while. Also... um... what was I going to say? *zzzZz* Oh yeah, caring, open hearted, passionate and modest people ftw in my own personal opinion, creepy or pervy people in both sexes make me physically sick, like theres 'I love your body' and 'I love you' as sucky as it is, waaay too many people fall into the first bit.
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
He wait I just realize something. If everone does the math on this topic it doesnt add up. If more girls are in relationship than guys.
 
coriander1992

coriander1992

Well-known member
TAMPA-BAY said:
He wait I just realize something. If everone does the math on this topic it doesnt add up. If more girls are in relationship than guys.
Click to expand...

I don't understand what you mean? :oops:
please explain; it sounds interesting! :D

ETA: I've reached my max. post thing :roll:
I think I understand what you mean?
for every girl dating there is a boy dating her too? so it's equal numbers of males and females?
Totally makes sense actually lol, well done you! (If thats what you meant?)
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
Everone on here make it seem like all the girls are in relationships and the guys are not but what i am saying is that they have to be an equal number of males for them to be dateing. Its hard to explain.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
coriander1992 said:
I don't neccesarily think this is the case.
Some girls (me included!) like shy guys. I can't stand loud, abnoxious people!
It is very misguided of anyone to assume all girls like loud confident guys - that is totally not the case and it infuriates me a lot to hear (or read rather) people making such mass generalisations.
Click to expand...

But the fact is loud confident guys attract more attention and people love them because they have the art of entertaining people. When i was in college we went on a trip to a city, to see galleries and museums and stayed there a night. On the trip there was just me and another guy and the rest were girls. This guy was the confident outgoing sort, and i was pretty much ignored while the girls hung around him like flies around a cow pat. I'm not saying that these girls were attracted to him in any other way other than friendship wise, but i was left feeling lonely and inferior.

All my life really i have been the lonely soul sitting in a corner being ignored.
 
scissorhands

scissorhands

Well-known member
In the eyes of dominant ideaology:
Women + quiet, shy, inhibited = acceptable
Men + quiet, shy, inhibited = weakness

I don't really think there is any debate needed over this. And the thread started only said it was "easier" for women, I don't think he implied that it wasn't difficult. I am postive it is still very difficult for both genders, but obviously women with SA have ideology working more in their direction then men with SA do.
 
coriander1992

coriander1992

Well-known member
recluse said:
coriander1992 said:
I don't neccesarily think this is the case.
Some girls (me included!) like shy guys. I can't stand loud, abnoxious people!
It is very misguided of anyone to assume all girls like loud confident guys - that is totally not the case and it infuriates me a lot to hear (or read rather) people making such mass generalisations.
Click to expand...

. On the trip there was just me and another guy and the rest were girls. This guy was the confident outgoing sort, and i was pretty much ignored while the girls hung around him like flies around a cow pat. .
Click to expand...

that was only one group of girls.
Like I said not ALL girls would do this.
 
F

flake__

Well-known member
lol yeh you tried pretty hard coriander!

You've got black-tinted spectacles mate. You are actually seeing things worse than they actually are. This is because you want the world to reply YES, THE WORLD IS AGAINST YOU, your lot is totally unfair. This is not your fault--our minds work like this. But it will not get you anywhere!

Also I have realised recently, in any situation it is better to have rose-tinted spectacles, whatever the actual, because then you are more likely to get what you want! You are more likely to get the exception even if the generalisation is true.
 
Horatio

Horatio

Well-known member
flake__ said:
lol yeh you tried pretty hard coriander!

You've got black-tinted spectacles mate. You are actually seeing things worse than they actually are. This is because you want the world to reply YES, THE WORLD IS AGAINST YOU, your lot is totally unfair. This is not your fault--our minds work like this. But it will not get you anywhere!

Also I have realised recently, in any situation it is better to have rose-tinted spectacles, whatever the actual, because then you are more likely to get what you want! You are more likely to get the exception even if the generalisation is true.
Click to expand...

In a way Social Rehtard is right.... of course I can't speak for him but a lot of what he says I can certainly identify with. Most chicks do not want a guy who is shy, they want a man who is confident and assertive. Add on that a guy who is perhaps significantly impaired in the looks department (like myself), and the odds are dramatically stacked up against a socialphobic guy!

The black tinted spectacles... they are more like a black blast proof visor. It is a protection mechanism. If the majority (or all) chicks that a guy has ever approached have turned them down and there has never been any sign that chicks find a guy attractive, then of course that guy will presume that the next gurl will feel the same way. A socialphobic guy with rose-tinted spectacles is setting himself up to be hurt bigtime.

In an ideal world , yes, we should all walk around this planet thinking positively all the time. But this can be very damaging if positive thoughts just don't bare any resemblence to reality. Put yourself in guys shoes... if you asked 100 chicks out over five years and EVERY ONE said no, wouldn't you start to think twice before thinking positive about the next one? In fact wouldnt it be easier to save that hurt and rejection and just not bother? Sure the sad thing is that the one time things might work out has been lost, and enivitably you still end up lonely, but it does save a lot of hurt in the process.
 
PhantomPod

PhantomPod

Well-known member
I can see your thought process, and yeah, you may be right because it is pretty much always put on the guy to do the asking out. Though I still think it's almost just as hard for the girl.

Hell, I'm a shy girl, 20 years old, and I've never had a boyfriend. And I don't think I'm completely ugly or anything, and I think I can be quite friendly once someone starts talking to me.

Maybe shy guys should start out trying to talk up shy girls. I know that I really want to find myself a shy and inexperienced guy just like myself. I hate the loud mouthed frat type guys who are way too into themselves and their friends.
 
TAMPA-BAY

TAMPA-BAY

Well-known member
I agree with flalke. There is this thing called selective memory. It works like this. You filter out contradictory evence and only focus on what fits your belief.

The shy guy with his girl friend or wife is not going to be kissing his girl in the middle of the street just to prove his manhood.

The shy guy with his girl friend or wife is not going to attend all the big social event just so he can display his trophy mate.

*Also why are all the guys so sure that the players and don juans gets their girl on the first try. Has it ever occured to anyone that those guys who we consider so sexualy sucessful might of had 99 rejections before they got a "yes I would like to go to dinner." We only see the succes story and never get to see the failures.

*And like I keep trying to point out in vain. More shy girls cant have dates than guys unless there is guy who is spreading his love around. Mathamathaly the numbers have to balance.

I can already hear the negative crowd saying that the world has more females than guys.
 
DaDahhhhDaDaDa

DaDahhhhDaDaDa

Active member
TAMPA-BAY said:
I agree with flalke. There is this thing called selective memory. It works like this. You filter out contradictory evence and only focus on what fits your belief.

The shy guy with his girl friend or wife is not going to be kissing his girl in the middle of the street just to prove his manhood.

The shy guy with his girl friend or wife is not going to attend all the big social event just so he can display his trophy mate.

*Also why are all the guys so sure that the players and don juans gets their girl on the first try. Has it ever occured to anyone that those guys who we consider so sexualy sucessful might of had 99 rejections before they got a "yes I would like to go to dinner." We only see the succes story and never get to see the failures.

*And like I keep trying to point out in vain. More shy girls cant have dates than guys unless there is guy who is spreading his love around. Mathamathaly the numbers have to balance.

I can already hear the negative crowd saying that the world has more females than guys.
Click to expand...

I agree with you, I really think the problem is simply just ASKING. Most shy guys/gals would have difficulty simply asking someone they are interested in for fear of rejection. The 'players' win, but they don't speak about being rejected, and people with SP seem to think that rejection involves their interest simply saying a flat out 'NO' in front of everyone, embarrassing them (which is really not the case, it's normally something much more subtle). :?

It's also the male who is traditionally expected to ask, so in that sense it can be easier for women with SP. But, like all of us, I think holding a relationship together is extremely difficult if you can't talk or relate to each other, hence why I've seen that most girls with SP have had at least one boyfriend but don't seem to keep them for long.
 
recluse

recluse

Well-known member
DaDahhhhDaDaDa said:
TAMPA-BAY said:
I agree with flalke. There is this thing called selective memory. It works like this. You filter out contradictory evence and only focus on what fits your belief.

The shy guy with his girl friend or wife is not going to be kissing his girl in the middle of the street just to prove his manhood.

The shy guy with his girl friend or wife is not going to attend all the big social event just so he can display his trophy mate.

*Also why are all the guys so sure that the players and don juans gets their girl on the first try. Has it ever occured to anyone that those guys who we consider so sexualy sucessful might of had 99 rejections before they got a "yes I would like to go to dinner." We only see the succes story and never get to see the failures.

*And like I keep trying to point out in vain. More shy girls cant have dates than guys unless there is guy who is spreading his love around. Mathamathaly the numbers have to balance.

I can already hear the negative crowd saying that the world has more females than guys.
Click to expand...

I agree with you, I really think the problem is simply just ASKING. Most shy guys/gals would have difficulty simply asking someone they are interested in for fear of rejection. The 'players' win, but they don't speak about being rejected, and people with SP seem to think that rejection involves their interest simply saying a flat out 'NO' in front of everyone, embarrassing them (which is really not the case, it's normally something much more subtle). :?

It's also the male who is traditionally expected to ask, so in that sense it can be easier for women with SP. But, like all of us, I think holding a relationship together is extremely difficult if you can't talk or relate to each other, hence why I've seen that most girls with SP have had at least one boyfriend but don't seem to keep them for long.
Click to expand...

Yeah that is the difference between a shy person and a confident one..The fear of redicule and rejection. I always get negative thoughts whenether i am interested in a girl, thoughts like ''What's the point of talking to her because she probably thinks i am ugly and boring''
 
bleach

bleach

Banned
Some girls may be attracted to "quiet" guys, but those are the guys who are quiet and confident, not quiet because they are shy and have poor self-esteem. Which would be all the quiet guys on this forum, Im guessing. There are guys who dont speak much but can still talk and act without fear when they need to. For us it is not the case.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top