Do you repeatedly avoid romantic relationships?

This thread has jumped all over the place, but I enjoyed the dichotomy between TooTooShy trying to understand all of us weirdos, and the rest of us trying to explain WHY we're just weirdos. It just seemed wrong not to comment on the very interesting discussion that took place in this thread, even if it started years ago.

Avoidants and the Normies just won't ever understand each other, and I think that's the way its always going to be, period.
 

BiWinning

Well-known member
Agreed with above comment.
Though I am not a "Norm"
When a person I like starts to like me back I think of a reasons why this wouldn't work out or why I don't like them.
I've never even hugged a guy in a romantic manner
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
When I first started dating, I backed out on a lot of my dates after seeing and talking to them and getting to know them, for a variety of reasons. Out of all of them, I really only regret backing out on one. When I started dating the guy who would become my first boyfriend, I didn't back out one bit, because I genuinely liked him (and eventually grew to love him).

I find myself backing out of or avoiding romantic relationships if I'm not attracted to a guy beyond looks. Guess it just goes to show that, if I don't want this to happen, I need to evaluate long and hard just how attracted to a guy I am.
 

MrJones

Well-known member
Veeeery rarely I have a possible romantic relationtship, but everytime I could have one, yes, I avoided it.

So no one will ever get close to me, but it's just my fault (even if I don't mean to lol)
 
Yes i had it, and i still do, but less than before, it has to do with your self-esteem, of course this whole phobia has to do with your self-esteem. In my case, i made it even worse, it was me that was the first one to hurt people, i thought maybe its better this way, since they're going to hurt me anyway, i thought feeling guilty once a day is better than felling sad , depressed, anxious, everytime you see the person you broke up with . But of course, that wasn't a solution..
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I'm asexual, so I'm not interested in romance.

I think I'd purposely avoid it now, because I don't want anyone to feel that way for me.
It wouldn't be fair to them.
I'm not worth all the pain it would cause.
 

redtear

Well-known member
I don't avoid relationships per se. I avoid HEALTHY relationships. I don't even do it on purpose. I just never feel a connection or attraction to the people that a) like me b) are available c) a+b

Hence, all the people I am attracted to either have no interest in me or are already in a relationship. And anybody that is free and attracted to me I just never ever feel anything for. I am not proud of this, but, 95% of my relationships have been with married/engaged/dating men.
 

alwaysrunning

Well-known member
Completely and utterly. I cannot control the outcome of something so uncertain that will most likely end up hurting me, thus i do not approach it . I may play with it from time to time, become captivated by its allure but when it comes down to it i leave it right where i found it, before the time runs out and i am sucked into something i cannot handle.
 
Yes, I was molested as a child so i hate men, but i dont like other girls either, ill probley get over it if I meet some one i dont feel threatened by, and some one I dont feel i have to pretend for all the time.
 
Well lately I've been trying to avoid guys to the best of my ability. I'm thinking about putting off dating for a few years, at least until I'm an adult. Being a complete hopeless romantic makes it harder on me, but I find it necessary to go through with this plan at this point. Teenage guys are just total immature narcissistic a*******, most of them at least, and I keep getting hurt. Hopefully by then the guys I run into will be slightly more mature (and faithful).
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
I'm more or less trying to give up now; it hasn't happened up to this point and I see no signs to it ever happening in the future. Somehow, I've seem to have acquired some sort of "female repellant" in my life because girls tend to avoid me for some reason. Also, I have a habit of keeping people within arm's reach, not even my friends and family are exempt. I keep them close enough that I can tell them some secrets, but not far enough that I can't reach out and neutralize them if I ever should. Not to mention I don't have anything to contribute in a relationship; I don't have a job, a car, or money. All together, that makes for one horrible person and an even more horrible boyfriend.
 

Nanita

Well-known member
I avoid getting close to people, except when I get very interested in someone, feel a connection with someone.
This goes for friendships and romantic relationships: Later in a relationship, I begin to feel that I should just get out of it, because I can´t live up to most people´s expectations. I can´t participate in the stuff that people do. Again and again I feel that i don´t fit into their family or circle of friends. Eventually I will just feel too miserable to be able to be a part of anything.
 

Tiercel

Well-known member
Thinking on it, I'm not sure whether I've been avoiding them or they've been avoiding me.

I've certainly tried, but have I honestly tried as much as I could have? More often than not I've ended up watching the objects of my affection from a distance, like exhibits in a museum.

These days, though, I've become more of a fan of living history. So we'll see how well that goes.

;)
 

MrJones

Well-known member
Now I have nothing to avoid, but the times I did, I avoided them, even if I could be interested.

One of the problems of my avoidance is also who was interested in me, because apparently I attract more gay men than straight women o.0
 
Now I have nothing to avoid, but the times I did, I avoided them, even if I could be interested.

One of the problems of my avoidance is also who was interested in me, because apparently I attract more gay men than straight women o.0
I feel your pain, although it's quite the opposite with me. I usually got attracted to guys who turned out to be gay -__-
 
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