Do you have severe phone anxiety?

[Psychedelicious]

I was wondering how many other people here have phone anxiety, and to what degree? What do you do to cope with this? It can be pretty debilitating. Communicating through phones and texts is such a significant part of our society these days, it's a key form of socialization. Any tips on how to be less nervous about this stuff? I'm sure a lot of people here suffer from this thing. I'm also curious what people fear more, calling or texting?

For me answering any calls is dreadful in itself, but having to call back when someone leaves me a message is utterly panic inducing. I'll actually have panic attacks over having to call people back, pretty ridiculous I know. Not that I get calls very often or anything, but when I do I just freak! Especially if it's something related to job searching, which is what I'm currently in the process of doing. Texts are bad too, but to a lesser degree. Even then, I have to put such an extensive amount of time and effort in finding the right words to say. It's overaпalyzing at its finest. I don't have friends so I worry less about that, but when acquaintances or people I just met text/call me I ignore them such a large portion of the time. I feel terrible for that, but it often seems better than inducing a state of panic. I also have an extreme fear of initiation of any kind. I will NEVER be the first person to call or message someone. This avoidant behavior has sucked me into such an intense place of loneliness, hopelessness and fear. Not just due to phone anxiety, but all this nonsense added together. I want to get over some of these ridiculously irrational fears. I'm tired of avoiding every little thing and panicking constantly.

 

[dottie]

Yes!! And I avoid responding to texts... people think I am blowing them off... I guess I AM, if I am to be honest... but not for reasons like I am doing anything better. It is the stifling blow of anxiety triggered by the buzz of my phone... like a deer in the headlights... but instead of responding I avoid. People have a limited amount of patience for this BS. Can't blame them.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I do and it used to be a real problem. It still is a problem at work. The only way I found to deal with it is to just do it no matter the consequences (blushing, stuttering and humiliating myself).

However, the situation is getting A LOT better after some (years of) forced exposure.

For me answering any calls is dreadful in itself, but having to call back when someone leaves me a message is utterly panic inducing.

I know what you mean. Silly isn't it? It's mainly because if I call them I have to explain them who I am and what I want, while it's their job when they call me.

 

[Psychedelicious]

Yes!! And I avoid responding to texts... people think I am blowing them off... I guess I AM, if I am to be honest... but not for reasons like I am doing anything better. It is the stifling blow of anxiety triggered by the buzz of my phone... like a deer in the headlights... but instead of responding I avoid. People have a limited amount of patience for this BS. Can't blame them.

Yeah, I totally hate the fact that I blow people off whenever the opportunity arises :/ . For me being someone who has such an extraordinary fear of being rejected, ignoring them makes me feel like a massive hypocrite. I totally can't blame them either, I'm sure it's exhausting to deal with people who never respond to you. Totally feel the exact same way.

I do and it used to be a real problem. It still is a problem at work. The only way I found to deal with it is to just do it no matter the consequences (blushing, stuttering and humiliating myself).

However, the situation is getting A LOT better after some (years of) forced exposure.



I know what you mean. Silly isn't it? It's mainly because if I call them I have to explain them who I am and what I want, while it's their job when they call me.

I think that's good advise. Just hit that dial or send button and don't look back! Easier said than done, but forcing yourself to do things you're afraid of can lessen the anxiety in the long run. It's almost never as dreadful as we play it out in our heads when it's all done, and getting it over with is such a relief. Taking action to begin with has to be the most difficult part.

 

[takeheart]

I have phone anxiety as well. Texting! Don't even get me started there because I never know what to say. Even if l do l sometimes feel l sound stupid so l hardly text. I can talk on the phone if its something serious like calling about something l need to call, you know it could be that l lost my debit card and l have to call and whatnot. That l can do. But talking to family or a friend on the phone, I struggle. Again, l never know what to say. My mind goes blank sometimes.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I think that's good advise. Just hit that dial or send button and don't look back! Easier said than done, but forcing yourself to do things you're afraid of can lessen the anxiety in the long run. It's almost never as dreadful as we play it out in our heads when it's all done, and getting it over with is such a relief. Taking action to begin with has to be the most difficult part.

Let's be honest: Sometimes, it IS as dreadful as you play it out in your head mg: But it's like having an arrow stuck in your body: You have to do something about it even if it means a lot of pain, or you'll die. I mean you'll never get better.

 

[Kiwong]

I don't like ringing people much, but I wouldn't call it severe. I'm usually OK on the phone. In person is when my anxiety becomes severe.

 

[singing-love]

I don't mind texting, I can generally deal with that but phone calls, can't say I enjoy them. It's something I'm getting over quickly however, it's a key component of my job to communicate in various ways with many people. I just try not to overthink things so much and breathe. Although I find it is worse when I'm calling someone and have to ask them questions, I don't like that!

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I have a hard time with it too.

I screen every call from a number I don't recognize, and if I absolutely do have to return a call from a business or someone I don't know, I have to psyche-myself up for it like it's a boxing match or something.

The one exception (sorta) are customer service lines. My Xboxes went to shit on me sooooo many times over the years that I got accustomed to calling their repair line. But it was only because no one else in the house was tech-savvy enough to do it FOR me. ha ha

Anyway, it's weird because those are intensive-type calls, but I just got used to it. I kind-of go into what I call my disc-jockey persona to do it though, so it's basically me playing a more revved-up, "tell them what they want to hear" version of myself.

Bonkers, but it gets me through.

 

[LittleGloves]

Yes. I get anxiety attacks when someone calls me. People who don't understand make fun of me because they think it's silly. To hell with them.

 

[theslowesthand]

Only really when someone calls me, not when i call them. I have extreme noise sensitivity, and the phone ringing is simply too loud, unexpected, shrill, nerve-wracking, sudden, etc ... which is why i always keep it muted. Hardly ever use the phone these days, and no need to buy another mobile as i seldom used that.

 

[Lils]

I hate ringing people!! I usually don't pick up when people call me... I call them back later if I absolutely have to.
Even when it's my boyfriend calling me, I'm usually very reluctant to pick up...

 

[dragons]

Ugh yes, calling people makes me so anxious. First of all, I'm really paranoid about calling the wrong number; when I dial the number I double-check it like ten times before pressing "send." And then once I'm actually talking to the person I get nervous and start stammering and stumbling over my words and just ... being awkward in general. It helps me somewhat to plan out what I'm going to say beforehand as much as I can. And forget about leaving messages, haha ... I avoid leaving them at all costs.

A few months ago I started at a job where I sometimes have to call and interview people, and when I first found out about it I got really anxious. But after doing it a bunch of times, it's not quite as bad. Usually I have questions prepared beforehand, and most of the time the interviews go pretty smoothly––although I do still dread them somewhat and I still feel like I'm super awkward. But, oh well.

I don't find texting that bad. I usually prefer to text people over calling them, unless I need to have a long conversation with them for some reason. Although, as others have said, I always overanalyze my texts. I do that with emails too ... especially when I have to email professors. It can take me like twenty minutes to write a one-sentence email because I keep deleting it and starting again, because I become afraid that I sound too casual or rude in some other way.

 

[migthymask]

I can't talk by phone. It makes me feel a lot of anxiety, but for my job I need attendance my mobile everyday, when I see the phone screen and I should answer the call I try to relax me, but several times is very difficult specially when is a customer who is calling. , I have a friend, she phones me a lot of times every week I don't answer her, I'm not rude, I'm just shy, and I told her it a lot of times but she doesn't understand, it's really difficult talk with someone by the phone

 

[jaim38]

I used to. Before every phone appointment, I'd get all panicky and anxious at least 2 hours in advance. I had to go to the bathroom a lot. Gradually, with more exposure to calling people, I got the hang of it. I haven't gotten rid of all anxiety though. I still get anxious before every phone call, but the anxiety has been reduced significantly. I truly believe phone calls are a good place to start practice communicating, especially for socially anxious people. If you can master phone calls, you can move on to webcam and eventually in person communication.

 

[Opaline]

I do not. Mine is usually mild when talking to strangers or certain people.

 

[Lavinialuna]

I have issues with the phone. It rings and I jump. I hate talking on the phone, almost as bad as talking in person. Facebook is stressful for me too, as is getting the mail. There is nothing easy about Social Anxiety, is there. Anyone find ways to cope?

 

[SilentAndShy]

In my personal life, I tend to text more and I'm fine with that. It's nice and easy. For calling, I try not to unless it's calling for a takeaway or calling a mate who I've planned to call for a while.

At work though it's a different story. I get anxiety when the phone rings (it's an open office environment so anyone can pick up the phone but as I'm the admin dude, it's my job primarily) and I get worried it might be a bad call, i.e one that will leave me stumped and scrambling for help. As soon as that person starts speaking about their issue and I know what it is then I relax and deal with it calmly but if not, I tend to get worried. I'm hoping I will get better with experience.

 

[cowboyup]

I just posted a discussion thread about this - and Skype. As you pointed out, it is a mainstay of our lives these days and major way we communicate with one another. For me, I get very nervous on the phone, texting I can deal with, but not the phone - nor skype, can't do skype.

Like others have pointed out here, it's just one of those things you just need to give yourself a swift kick in the butt and just do it no matter how bad you feel.

 

[outofthisworld]

I think i have phone anxiety, i hate talking on the phone, specially at work, i got blank and forget what i have to say, it's horrible.