Do you avoid people you know?

[ERose]

I do this a lot too, I think it's to do with an expectation of some sort. New people you've just met, aren't aware of certain things about you? I don't know but that's how I feel anyway. I even avoid my one of my own sisters who's just moved in with us, I feel strange around her, out of control, not safe.

 

[TheRadicalAnxiousLefty]

Yeah I'm like this too. Just the other day walking back from class I noticed my roommate walking in the opposite direction going to her class. I instantly looked down at my mp3 player and started just fiddling with it, pretending I didn't see her until she said Hi. I'm always like this and I don't know why I'm so afraid of saying Hi to people I know in public. I guess I feel like I'm drawing attention to myself, so if I did it, everyone would look at me or judge me or something.

I second this.

 

[MikeyC]

yep. i cannot handle small talk. i do this to my neighbors all the time. if i see them taking a walk or whatever, i 'casually' yet quickly walk inside as though i had been planning to go inside all along lol

if i see someone i know while i'm out, i duck and dodge. meanwhile my husband will be standing up and waving like a fool to get their attention lol then they come over and have small talk and I'm just standing there with a "die b**ch die" look on my face. i can't help it..i've truly tried to help it and i can't.

I dislike the frivolous conversation, too:

"Hi."
"Hi, how are you?"
"Good, yourself?"
"Yeah, good."

I try to avoid that kind of conversation as much as possible as I never really have anything interesting to add to it and I feel like the receiver is doing it out of common courtesy than anything else.

Violet, too bad about your husband's eagerness to chat with people. Maybe you should pretend you got a text message and write anything in your phone until it's over.

 

[9407]

I do it all the time.

 

[Agent_Violet]

I dislike the frivolous conversation, too:

"Hi."
"Hi, how are you?"
"Good, yourself?"
"Yeah, good."

I try to avoid that kind of conversation as much as possible as I never really have anything interesting to add to it and I feel like the receiver is doing it out of common courtesy than anything else.

Violet, too bad about your husband's eagerness to chat with people. Maybe you should pretend you got a text message and write anything in your phone until it's over.

I've faked receiving calls..just kinda jump a little like your phone vibrated in your pocket. People are so self absorbed they never realize you faked it and you can walk away.

I think he's so eager for outside conversation bc he finds me so intense and brooding he needs some superficial interaction or his head will explode.

 

[MikeyC]

I've faked receiving calls..just kinda jump a little like your phone vibrated in your pocket. People are so self absorbed they never realize you faked it and you can walk away.

I think he's so eager for outside conversation bc he finds me so intense and brooding he needs some superficial interaction or his head will explode.

Fake calls. That's awesome...until your phone starts ringing on your ear.

I'm thinking your husband is simply more social than you, which is why he likes it and you don't. A guy I know will talk to literally anybody while I would make an attempt to walk away when possible. I couldn't do that, and I would assume you're the same. I just want people to leave me alone so I can do my own thing.

 

[Yes We Can]

it depends on the person, but I'm definitely guilty of doing this.. more so in the past than now though. Most of it is just my own insecurities. Sometimes I'm worried that if I speak they might not respond, which has happened on occasion and was extremely embarrassing. I do feel bad when I do it though, because I know that there have been times when ppl's feelings have been hurt because of it. If someone is at a distance I tend to not say anything unless they're looking in my direction. But in the last few years I have definitely been working on it, and have made considerable progress, but still have work to do. But yeah, to answer your question... I still do it sometimes, but usually with ppl I don't know very well or aren't really that comfortable around.

 

[Piece_By_Piece]

Yes, especially at school. I know I'll get uncomfortable around them anyway.

 

[KnuffleBunny]

Yes, a lot of times I do because I just want to be left alone.

 

[da_illest101]

like i owe them money lol

 

[MrJones]

People I know avoid me

 

[LadyWench]

On the rare occasion that I DO get out of the house, I do tend to avoid people I know, whether I like them or not. I just don't like being social and feeling obligated to socialize when I'm not comfortable doing so. Also, I'm a b*tch.

 

[pop-princess]

Well, that's typical SA behaviour. I used to do that almost all the time, I didn't even greet my neighbours. With treatment I have improved on this matter. I find it much easier today and I even make eye contact.

 

[cowboyup]

I just thought it was just me!
By the way this is my first post here.
I wanted to jump into this conversation because I am the same way. Every time I am somewhere - grocery store, school, wherever, I tend to look down so I don't 'run' into someone I may know as they might come up and say hi. I have had people tell me they saw me someplace but "looked like I was in my own world" and didn't want to bother me...then that makes me feel bad and of course I have to nit pick and scrutinize what they said til I make it out to more than it really was, which in turn, brings on anxiety again. It's like a never ending cycle.
Also, I've been invited to parties, events, dinners, you name it, and I always seem to make up an excuse. People are (and have) gotten very tired of my lousy excuses and this again makes me feel sad, guilty, angry with myself for acting like a fool, then in turn, again brings on anxiety and feelings like maybe I shouldn't be around people if that's how I tend to treat my 'friends' so I retreat back into myself, if that makes sense.

 

[ERose]

I do this all the time, I feel that they have an expectation of me because I've already associated myself with them. It's not every person I've met, it's selective which is strange.

I feel less anxious around people I don't know when I actually have to be around them, for instance in college.

 

[KiaKaha]

shyness is often mistaken for snobbery and being stuck up. I remember when I was working in a bookstore years ago, one of my workmates told me that I was stuck up. I couldnt believe it, because that was the last thing that I ever thought myself as being.

If you are a hot girl with social phobia... thats the first thing people are gonna think. Its just stupid how presumptuous people are sometimes.

But yes I avoid people I know. Sometimes just because I cant be bothered going through the pain of having to make small talk, other times I am too socially inept and shy to pull it off. It would just make me feel like an idiot trying to talk to someone and have them laugh at my face for trying.

 

[BlueDays]

Yes, I have gone to great lengths in the past to appear busy so they think I have not noticed them, or have gone a long way around to get somewhere just to avoid being noticed by someone.
Any possible conversation is avoided at all costs. Another chance to be judged by someone who knows things about me is always dreaded.
I hope one day I will be so fed up with it I will stop worrying about it and stop doing it.

 

[Hastings & Main]

I'm forcing myself to get better at not avoiding them.

It stems from the dark thinking that "They MAYBE don't like me, and I don't want to chance having that confirmed by any small negative reaction I see from them if I wave or say Hi..." (expecting some rolled eyes & imagining a thought balloon over their heads reading "Oh god not THAT guy again...")

Sounds very complicated, but that's what the immediate feeling is when I see them across the street or whatever. I'm making myself realize that it's a crap move on my subconscious' part to do that to them AND me by creating that situation and feeling down afterwards.

So - "HEY!!" Smile & nod, and I start talking.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

If I have to go to a public place where I think I might see someone I know (like the train station or the shops), I get very nervous and paranoid when I'm there (or I just don't go at all). Sometimes I even see a person that looks like someone I know from behind and I try to hide. There have been times when I have actually seen a person that I know and I will usually panic and hide behind something/someone and just hope that they didn't see me. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I'm terrified of them.

 

[Clara001]

Yes. I don't even do it intentionally anymore, it just became some sort of a reflex. When I see someone I know my mind starts looking for ways to avoid them ... I'm not even aware of it. Later on I wonder why did I do that ... It isn't that hard for me to say "hi" and chat a bit (my SA got a little better on the "small talk with acquaintances" area), I even WANT to do it. But I can't. My legs just lead me as far away as they can.