dear coyote

[coyote]

Dear coyote,

Hi!

...that is all.
-Weirdy

dear Weirdy,

i'm eating an assortment of unsalted raw mixed nuts purchased at my local Target department store - cashews, almonds, pistachios, hazelnuts, and walnuts

 

[BlackPuma]

dear Wimbleton,

dinosaurs came in all shapes and sizes

some were small - chicken sized - those probably tasted much like chicken

bigger ones tasted like turkey

yet bigger ones tasted like ostrich

(you can see where i'm going with this)

the largest dinosaurs of all probably tasted like Alec Baldwin

Dear Coyote.


I contacted Alec Baldwin to verify to which extend his avian taste were shared in a now extinct reptile. Upon inquiring him, he was not amused. My attempt to comfort him by emphasizing that I was in fact referring to a ancient bird like creature with which he shared an identical taste did not prevail. He asked me to leave, but I had a good feeling about clearing my story.

I am now held captive in Mr. Baldwin's dungeon with rapidly fading light as I type this on a dieing phone. It is quite unsettling, as I did not get the garden view dungeon I requested. My rat friends, with whom I've made swift acquaintance, all agree Mr. Baldwin's dungeon policies are a grotesque embarrassment to other hosts with guests held against their will.

Could you please give Mr. Baldwin some pointers on how to properly hold people hostage, as I feel he has no idea what he is doing. The WiFi in this cell is terrible.


Sincerly,

Puma Wimbleton.

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote.


I contacted Alec Baldwin to verify to which extend his avian taste were shared in a now extinct reptile. Upon inquiring him, he was not amused. My attempt to comfort him by emphasizing that I was in fact referring to a ancient bird like creature with which he shared an identical taste did not prevail. He asked me to leave, but I had a good feeling about clearing my story.

I am now held captive in Mr. Baldwin's dungeon with rapidly fading light as I type this on a dieing phone. It is quite unsettling, as I did not get the garden view dungeon I requested. My rat friends, with whom I've made swift acquaintance, all agree Mr. Baldwin's dungeon policies are a grotesque embarrassment to other hosts with guests held against their will.

Could you please give Mr. Baldwin some pointers on how to properly hold people hostage, as I feel he has no idea what he is doing. The WiFi in this cell is terrible.


Sincerly,

Puma Wimbleton.

dear Puma Wimbleton,

i have had my assistant, Hubert, contact Mr. Baldwin's people

he politely explained to them that i did not mean to imply that Mr. Baldwin was, himself, a dinosaur, but merely that his considerable bulk made his presence analagous to the largest creatures known to walk the earth. Hubert pointed out Mr. Baldwin's nude scene in the film, It's Complicated, as a clear example.

Mr. Baldwin's people graciously conceded that his appearance in that film was frightening, but they informed Hubert that the actor has since lost a great deal of weight and currently cuts quite the dashing figure.

apologies were exchanged all around, and they assured this office that you would be released post haste.

if you see Alec, please tell him i'm a huge fan!

 

[MollyBeGood]

Dear Coyote,

How do you keep your coat looking so nice and shiny? Also... last night I heard some of your kin out the window and I spent some time talking to them, do they want to be my friend now? Are they afraid of my dog who howls and growls at them?
You don't have to respond. I know you're busy. Good night now!! Bye.

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

How do you keep your coat looking so nice and shiny? Also... last night I heard some of your kin out the window and I spent some time talking to them, do they want to be my friend now? Are they afraid of my dog who howls and growls at them?
You don't have to respond. I know you're busy. Good night now!! Bye.

dear 狼,

i use Kiss My Face "Big Body" shampoo

i'm sure any coyote would like to be your friend =]

they might see your dog as a threat, though. it might be better if you were to entertain in private

 

[Hoppy]

Dear Coyote,

My 5 year old PC died on me last night.

My cellphone is 6 years old and kept together with rubber bands.

I do not have any other electronic equipment, not even a TV or radio.

Should I upgrade to a more modern lifestyle?

With regards,

Hoppy

(I'm sending this from work.)

 

[Section_31]

Dear Coyote,

I have reason to believe that an invasion of SPW by extraterrestial biological entities (EBE's) is imminent!!. They can shapeshift and look and sound like anyone. The only known defense against them is the use of rubber chickens as weapons!

Id like to recommend everyone on SPW get issued a tinfoil hat with an antenna and a rubber chicken immediately!. they may already be amongst us!!!

>.>

<.<

 

[dragonoth]

dear dragonoth,

i still have a number of problems i'm dealing with personally

reading and responding to posts from others with the same issues helps me to clarify my own thoughts and feelings

besides, it's always more interesting to deal with someone else's problems instead of our own, isn't it?

Dear Coyote,

Yes, I suppose there is some truth in that. But if we could deal with our own problems the way we do with others, wouldn't that be great? We would treat ourselves like a friend in need.

 

[twiggle]

dear G. Ghost,

you got a spike? i'm jealous!

it is my understanding that all accomodation requests are to be directed to twiggle - whom, i might add, recently denied my purchase order for a new geiger counter

good luck!

I was wary about what you might do with that geiger counter!

 

[twiggle]

Dear Coyote,

Do you remember the exact date of the first ever time you said,

"Hi, and welcome to the forum" ?

I would also please like for you to record yourself saying above sentence to a background beat. Repetitively.

Twiggle
x

 

[Section_31]

Dear Coyote,

I believe dear Twiggle is on to somthing!

2nd her motion for you to say said line to a background beat!

 

[MrJones]

Dear coyote

Sup dude?

Also, what twiggle said.

Sincerely,

MrJones

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

My 5 year old PC died on me last night.

My cellphone is 6 years old and kept together with rubber bands.

I do not have any other electronic equipment, not even a TV or radio.

Should I upgrade to a more modern lifestyle?

With regards,

Hoppy

(I'm sending this from work.)

dear Hoppy,

i recently purchased the new iPad - it's the bomb!

elegant, sexy, simple - even Hubert can operate it

i highly recommend such a device

however, you would need wifi

good luck!

 

[Section_31]

Dear Coyote,

I believe ive discovered a mutant ability !!. I can see through windows!!! O.O

Do you have any advice as to how to responsibly use this power to benefit all humanity?

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

I have reason to believe that an invasion of SPW by extraterrestial biological entities (EBE's) is imminent!!. They can shapeshift and look and sound like anyone. The only known defense against them is the use of rubber chickens as weapons!

Id like to recommend everyone on SPW get issued a tinfoil hat with an antenna and a rubber chicken immediately!. they may already be amongst us!!!

>.>

<.<

dear The Lone Gunman,

clearly you are at the forefront of knowledge concerning this emergent situation

therefore, we have elected to appoint you Chief Purser of the Guard

please report to Remus for your special white coat which signifies your new rank

don't worry, it's supposed to fasten in back like that

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

Yes, I suppose there is some truth in that. But if we could deal with our own problems the way we do with others, wouldn't that be great? We would treat ourselves like a friend in need.

dear dragonoth,

good thinking

maybe we could get some wrist bands printed up to use as a reminder

 

[coyote]

I was wary about what you might do with that geiger counter!

dear twiggle,

clearly we do not share the same concern over ambient radiation levels :[

your indifference to this obvious environmental danger has been duly noted

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

Do you remember the exact date of the first ever time you said,

"Hi, and welcome to the forum" ?

I would also please like for you to record yourself saying above sentence to a background beat. Repetitively.

Twiggle
x

Dear Coyote,

I believe dear Twiggle is on to somthing!

2nd her motion for you to say said line to a background beat!

Dear coyote

Sup dude?

Also, what twiggle said.

Sincerely,

MrJones

dear everyone,

sorry, i do not remember the first occasion on which i posted the aforementioned comment

i have sent my assistant, Hubert, to the SPW catacombs to search the archives

that should keep him busy for awhile, thank you :]

as for the recording - i'm waiting for Graeme1988 to recommend the appropriate microphone

check back with me on December 22nd

 

[coyote]

Dear Coyote,

I believe ive discovered a mutant ability !!. I can see through windows!!! O.O

Do you have any advice as to how to responsibly use this power to benefit all humanity?

dear The Lone Gunman,

perhaps you could be a TV weather girl

i'm sure your abilities will enable you to forecast the weather with the same accuracy that the meteorologists possess

 

[Section_31]

^lmfao!!!!