Being skinny in a "bigger" world

OceanMist

Well-known member
I have even advised other people to be happy about being skinny but the last few weeks I'm starting to second guess how good being skinny really is.

I'm 5'11'', 155 lbs. I do have a little muscle tone but someone's first observation of my body size is that i'm skinny.

I guess this kinda started with the online dating thing. A lot of the girls I met were big, so I started to see a trend. I started to observe people's weight more when i would go places and the more I looked, the more I realized how much smaller I am than most people, especially guys.

Then I was in this pre-wedding ceremony for a little bit and was shocked at how practically every person there was thicker than me. I even heard some of the girls saying "he's too small" as I walked by (not the first time I've heard that). Most of the girls there were attractive too, so it was kind of like dang, is this the reason why I haven't been able to get cute girls?

I slept with like 10 girls, but they were they weren't really girls that I necessarily wanted to sleep with. Don't judge that, that's a different discussion i guess.

Yes, social anxiety has played a role in me not getting the cute girls, but I'm starting to think there is a biological factor of my size not being big and strong enough to attract enough women.

It's a known fact that women are biologically attracted to men who can protect them and their children. I don't fit that role as well as most men do, at least not from my appearance.

I may write more on this but my last story is where I approached this cute girl who was a little thick but not bad and she literally told me I'm too skinny for her and that my unit is probably small and that's why I'm approaching a girl I don't know. What the heck is that and how did she know about my small unit? That's not the first girl (or guy for that matter) who has said i probably have a small unit when they didn't even see my unit (as in I had jeans on).

I know you are probably laughing but I see more to what happened to me than comedy, I saw more of an observation that a lot of women may be making about me.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
I may write more on this but my last story is where I approached this cute girl who was a little thick but not bad and she literally told me I'm too skinny for her and that my unit is probably small and that's why I'm approaching a girl I don't know. What the heck is that and how did she know about my small unit? That's not the first girl (or guy for that matter) who has said i probably have a small unit when they didn't even see my unit (as in I had jeans on).

If this is the actual truth of what some woman told you, the only thing it says is how seriously screwed up the world really is, especially in terms of entitlement.

Aside from that, I've never heard of such a thing being said. I can also list endless examples of men who are my height (5'9") or even shorter, not particularly muscular, who have an easy time of attracting women. And they don't compensate for it with anything besides projecting a fun, confident, energetic personality. That's the only compensation needed, although I suppose it's harder for those who aren't that way naturally. If you have to fake it 'til you make it, so be it.
 

Rawz

Well-known member
So most girls you've bumped into like large guys whether it's muscle or fat? Huh. Sounds weird to me, but what do I know. I live under a rock.

You could always work at building muscle. You don't even really need to go to a gym or spend much money.

I don't think you should let it bother you though. Sounds like you're having success anyway, if you're just looking to sleep with girls. Everyone has different preferences and there are a lot of people out there. Some people won't be attracted to you at all for different reasons. Vice versa.
 
I used to weigh about 10 kilos heavier then I do now but for the past year or so have slimed down but also built up plenty of muscle mass (so leaner but stronger) ...anyway I bumped into this girl I have known for a couple of years but havnt seen her since my body change and she went *gasp* you need to put on weight..she went on to say she used to find that triangle shape of broad shoulders and slim waste sexy when she was younger (she is around my age of 32)..but now being older she finds it sexy when guys have a a bit of a gut and thick neck ..i never even brought up the subject, she just came out and said that to me....i was so taken back, I never expected that....it just goes to show there is so many factors involved that determine what people like, and that no matter what your shape there will always be people out there that like you just the way you are anyway.
 
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Hellhound

Super Moderator
Most human beings are not skinny actually. In some places, most people tend to be from normal to chubby.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
I thought I was too skinny when I was young. Then I became overweight, and my health issues started. Now I have lost weight, and I am glad. I look better, I feel better.
 

Solo Dolo

Well-known member
You should be far more appreciative for what you have man. You're just skinny, you can change that. But you are literally the perfect height. I am short, 5'8 and there is not one ****ing thing I can do about it. And yes, I miss out on LOADS of hot girls because I am short. The only way I somewhat make up for it is I work out all the time so I am in pretty damn good shape. But damn, I would kill to be 5'11.

All you have to do is hit the gym and eat right and you will be an extremely eligible bachelor
 

Odo

Banned
I used to be realllly skinny and I can kind of empathize.

In high school it seemed like most guys were bigger than me and some people don't realize that even if you're fat you're still kind of imposing... when you're skinny you feel more delicate.

I stopped being skinny in my 30s... it just became easier to put on more weight when my metabolism wasn't attacking absolutely everything I put into my body at lightning fast speeds.
 

emptybench

Well-known member
Well, people have tastes. I particularly don't find skinny men attractive, despite myself being naturally skinny. It probably has to do with the protection issue you said. But anyway, the whole personality-style-beliefs-appearance counts, and I guess we all know some beautiful women in relationships with uglier men.

By the way, I've heard guys saying I'm too skinny too.
 

dottie

Well-known member
I am only attracted to skinny guys.

It's a known fact that women are biologically attracted to men who can protect them and their children. I don't fit that role as well as most men do, at least not from my appearance.

In general, people are attracted to other people who look like them in some form whether it be size/height/facial features.

You are correct that women are attracted to men who can protect them and their children, but in 2014 that is via intellect more than any sort of physical abilities. Maybe that was the case in the days of hunters/gatherers. In today's culture it doesn't take physical abilities to provide for a woman, it takes intellect, skills, experience, connections. Those are much more important.

That uncouth girl who said those tactless things to you... that is exactly the kind of female you do not want. It was a blessing she said those things to you. They reflect entirely upon her and not at all on you.
 

Diend

Well-known member
being big isnt inherently a good thing. i have always been under the impression that size can kill you. i'm 5'10 and 165 lbs and i have trouble not seeing my stomache. i guess depends where you live. put on muscle not fat.
 
In absolute honesty it is all about personality for me. Personality is what makes someone attractive. The older I get the more sure of that and as the old saying goes ' beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and its true.

If you gave me a line up of guys to choose from completely based on appearance, there are certain features I tend to go for in lieu of other information...and thats because I associate certain features with personality traits. For instance Ive had good experiences with guys with brown eyes so I think that's why I tend to find brown eyes attractive. Whereas I dont have good trackrecord with guys with blue eyes so I tend not to be as drawn to blue eyes. Again, when it comes to build, same thing. I wouldn't find the underwear model half as attractive as the average build guy.

If you gave me the same line up of guys and let me choose anyway I wanted -I would choose based on personality. Someone with a good personality just gets more and more attractive. I have known some (insert bunnyears) "hot" guys and had absolutely no attraction to them. None. It means nothing without the personality.
 
I have even advised other people to be happy about being skinny but the last few weeks I'm starting to second guess how good being skinny really is.

I'm 5'11'', 155 lbs. I do have a little muscle tone but someone's first observation of my body size is that i'm skinny.

I guess this kinda started with the online dating thing. A lot of the girls I met were big, so I started to see a trend. I started to observe people's weight more when i would go places and the more I looked, the more I realized how much smaller I am than most people, especially guys.

Then I was in this pre-wedding ceremony for a little bit and was shocked at how practically every person there was thicker than me. I even heard some of the girls saying "he's too small" as I walked by (not the first time I've heard that). Most of the girls there were attractive too, so it was kind of like dang, is this the reason why I haven't been able to get cute girls?

I slept with like 10 girls, but they were they weren't really girls that I necessarily wanted to sleep with. Don't judge that, that's a different discussion i guess.

Yes, social anxiety has played a role in me not getting the cute girls, but I'm starting to think there is a biological factor of my size not being big and strong enough to attract enough women.

It's a known fact that women are biologically attracted to men who can protect them and their children. I don't fit that role as well as most men do, at least not from my appearance.

I may write more on this but my last story is where I approached this cute girl who was a little thick but not bad and she literally told me I'm too skinny for her and that my unit is probably small and that's why I'm approaching a girl I don't know. What the heck is that and how did she know about my small unit? That's not the first girl (or guy for that matter) who has said i probably have a small unit when they didn't even see my unit (as in I had jeans on).

I know you are probably laughing but I see more to what happened to me than comedy, I saw more of an observation that a lot of women may be making about me.

Don't be too down on yourself. I wish I was your size again. I'm 6'2" and about 240 pounds. In my defense most of it is muscle but some of it ain't and it's obvious if any of you have ever seen me. When I was a teenager I was 5'10" and around 160-170 pounds. I miss them proportions! I didn't stop getting taller until after I was married. The even shittier part is that the wife is 5'2" and there are some complications with a full foot of height between us. Some sexual positions that I really enjoy are all but impossible with her due to the height difference :eek:mg: and at your height it wouldn't be as much of a problem with an average-height female. Plus they don't have to tip-toe to kiss you and you don't have to bend down to meet her tip-toe kiss. As far as your weight, it's like many of us plus size dudes would love to be your size and it sounds like you'd like to be our size. I have straight hair but I wish it was curly (and not thinning at the crown :shyness:). Think of it this way: You're the only you you're ever gonna have so why not be content with yourself?
 

Livemylife

Well-known member
I'm guessing you must be really skinny. Even skinnier than Justin Bieber. And skinny dudes like that always work out so they have a little muscle.
I'm not quite sure what this thread is asking...If you want to gain weight, you could increase the amount you eat everyday. You could also lift weights.
Probably one of the easiest problems to solve...
 

Livemylife

Well-known member
I used to weigh about 10 kilos heavier then I do now but for the past year or so have slimed down but also built up plenty of muscle mass (so leaner but stronger) ...anyway I bumped into this girl I have known for a couple of years but havnt seen her since my body change and she went *gasp* you need to put on weight..she went on to say she used to find that triangle shape of broad shoulders and slim waste sexy when she was younger (she is around my age of 32)..but now being older she finds it sexy when guys have a a bit of a gut and thick neck ..i never even brought up the subject, she just came out and said that to me....i was so taken back, I never expected that....it just goes to show there is so many factors involved that determine what people like, and that no matter what your shape there will always be people out there that like you just the way you are anyway.

I literally laughed at the bolded. Gut and "thick neck"? I had a good laugh.
 

squidgee

Well-known member
I think I can relate to OP on this one. I'm also very skinny (1.78m/50kg, not too sure on weight because I don't have a scale, but it's somewhere around 50), and its pretty rare to see someone who is even skinnier than I am. I occasionally get comments on how thin my legs/arms are so I can sympathise with your predicament.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
.she went on to say she used to find that triangle shape of broad shoulders and slim waste sexy when she was younger (she is around my age of 32)..but now being older she finds it sexy when guys have a a bit of a gut and thick neck

That makes no sense to me. Why would a person, male or female, prefer a thick neck and a gut?

The only reasoning i can see for someone to be attracted to that body type is if they feel comfortable with that type of person so they don't get judged as harshly when walking with their partner.

I've noticed when couples have similar features they "fit" together better in the public eye.

Which is part of the explanation of why some thicker girls don't like my body. They don't want to be judged as the thick girl with a skinny guy.
 

OceanMist

Well-known member
Increasing the amount I eat every day won't make much of a difference. My metabolism is insanely high and that's just my natural trait that I can't fix.

I eat a healthy amount of food, so there's no reason to change that.

I do lift weights, and when someone is skinny it takes a lot of lifting to get really buff. I'm not looking to spend hours in the weight room.

As i said, i do have some muscle tone from lifting.

Tbh I think I look decent.

You may be asking why i made the thread if I think I look fine.

I live in the USA and I've seen stats that say over half of the people are defined as overweight here.

I see that as more of a split of two things. Yes, I'm lucky I am a healthy weight, and yes, that can give me an advantage in dating.

The other side of the coin, what I'm complaining about, is that I look different than most people as in I'm smaller than most people which can hurt my dating. As someone said before, many women want to be seen with someone who is similar in looks to them.

Many women don't want to laughed at for being the big girl with a more average sized guy.

What I'm complaining about speaks more to the weight epidemic we are having in my country in this 21st century. If I were this weight in 1950, I would fit in just fine and this wouldn't be an issue at all. More women and men would thinner.

To the people saying I'm too skinny like it's some freakish problem, my body mass index is close to ideal. I feel like you are telling me I'm unhealthy when in fact it's most of this country that is carrying more weight and is more unhealthy than me when you are talking about body size.

It's ok if someone is thicker than me, but don't sit there and try to tell me because I'm skinnier than them that I need eat more because I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. I'm healthy. I guess I'm kinda mad about that.....that people actually think I'm unhealthy just because this country has an overweight problem going on.
 
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