Being skinny in a "bigger" world

[kilojoule]

Luckily for you I have a razor-sharp personality. ::

I do have blue eyes, though. Damn!

You've lovely eyes Mikey erfect:

 

[kilojoule]

To the people saying I'm too skinny like it's some freakish problem, my body mass index is close to ideal. I feel like you are telling me I'm unhealthy when in fact it's most of this country that is carrying more weight and is more unhealthy than me when you are talking about body size.

It's ok if someone is thicker than me, but don't sit there and try to tell me because I'm skinnier than them that I need eat more because I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. I'm healthy. I guess I'm kinda mad about that.....that people actually think I'm unhealthy just because this country has an overweight problem going on.

I'll be honest with you, it sounds like there's a teeny tiny bit of judgementalness (oh little red squiggly line...so ...judgementalness is not a real word...interesting ) coming from your side too.


You seem to believe that society views you as being too skinny. You are then quite understandably defensive about it. (I'm healthy, they're the ones with the problem!) The thing is that if you are feeling/thinking this way you're going to be communicating it in your body language too. Negative body language/perceived hostility....women aren't going to swoon over that. :thinking:

It is awful that those girls said what they said. It was mean, judgemental and insecure. BUT you need to know this they do not speak for all humans.Don't let the cruel things other people say dictate your life. Why give them that power? Since the dawn of time humans put each other down to big up themselves. But just everyone needs to live and let live.




Perspective is relative to where you are standing. No matter who you are and what you look like, you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Someone is always going to think you're too thin/too fat/ too tall/too small/ too unique/too generic. ALWAYS.


It is important what we think of ourselves.

Tbh I think I look decent.

BOOM

go with that:thumbup:


Keep reminding yourself of this. Empower yourself.


If you can shake off what you heard those girls say and remember what you think of yourself you will have much more success attracting a partner.

 

[Kiwong]

Kiwong-that is great news. We have a rodent problem as of late with all of the rain the populations have been exploding. My house needs a cat so bad, but one of the dogs is not cat friendly. A clean home is great-happy for you! Mice are awful

Thanks Molly, I had a rodent problem too, they chewed everything and made a racket at night. Shame you can't get a cat to help, they're good pets even if a bit aloof. The big problem for me is cockroaches, next Tuesday I have pest controllers coming in.

This thread puzzles me, there is a billion dollar industry built around weight loss and those desiring to be skinny.

 

[OceanMist]

I've decided to pick up the push up quantity I do a bit. I'll also hit the bicep curls hard.

I think i was just overthinking this whole thing. As someone said, there are a lot of reasons for rejection.

Other guys may be getting rejected for being too big, and wish they could be more like me.

I really have it pretty good as far as looks go. I shouldn't even be complaining tbh. I'm 30 years old, still have a lot of my hair, look young, slightly above average looking, look sort of athletic.

I think I'm just frustrated with my injury more than anything. It's basically sidelined me from doing approaches anymore, so I was just stuck on that approach where I failed.

My plan is to just keep building muscle and move on. All it takes is one girl to like me. It's silly to try to please all of them, haha. That would never work.

I've got like 3 girls I'm texting with so things aren't too bad.

 

[outofthisworld]

I've been skinny all my life.. when I was a child it was fine because all kids were skinny.. but as i grew up.. every body around me started to change but I never did.. I know girls that are skinny but never ever met a guy that is skinny like me.. but it's weird it's manly my arms are skinny, the rest of my body is somewhat normal shape.. I got fast metabolism, so it's hard to gain weight.. I think I eat a lot a day.. but I only gained 5kg in nearly 3 years which is crazy... I never had the courage to go to the gym and get fit.. but I always wanted too.. I feel it's a bit too late.. it's embarrassing.. I try sometime to do some exercise at home.. but I hate it.. so I guess I will always be skinny...

 

[OceanMist]

The thing is that if you are feeling/thinking this way you're going to be communicating it in your body language too. Negative body language/perceived hostility....women aren't going to swoon over that. :thinking: [/SIZE]

.

Omg, please tell me you aren't going to bring the "it must be your fault" shaming tactic.

Please don't act like you know me either.

How would you even know what I'm projecting in my body language?

You haven't met me in person, therefore you wouldn't know how I act.

I have seen people do this before, and it rather annoys me:

You think any time a guy is having trouble getting the girl he wants that he holds hostility in his body language, right?

Actually the way I carry myself, my thinking towards other people, men and women, is quite friendly.

If you asked anybody who actually knows me from my old circle of friends if I hold hostility towards anyone, they would tell you no and laugh at how ridiculous the question is.

This isn't about hostility......it's about being skinny.

Just because someone vents something over the internet, doesn't mean they go around in the real world wearing that vent on their shoulder all day.

What people like you need to understand is that the dating world is difficult for many men no matter how great they are assuming they are looking for a decent looking female to date.

 

[OceanMist]

Anyway.....I've took a lot of my focus off my image.

I have an injury to my foot so and am not planning on socializing with anyone because walking around is difficult.

Something I've figured out over this time period is that there are a lot of other things a guy can get rejected for so I'm not that worried about the skinny thing anymore.

In fact I'm not concerned with dating at all right now.

I've kind of changed my attitude and have a more care free attitude about this stuff.

It's more important to enjoy life instead of trying to impress people.

 

[kihira]

Omg, please tell me you aren't going to bring the "it must be your fault" shaming tactic.

Please don't act like you know me either.

How would you even know what I'm projecting in my body language?

You haven't met me in person, therefore you wouldn't know how I act.

I have seen people do this before, and it rather annoys me:

You think any time a guy is having trouble getting the girl he wants that he holds hostility in his body language, right?

Actually the way I carry myself, my thinking towards other people, men and women, is quite friendly.

If you asked anybody who actually knows me from my old circle of friends if I hold hostility towards anyone, they would tell you no and laugh at how ridiculous the question is.

This isn't about hostility......it's about being skinny.

Just because someone vents something over the internet, doesn't mean they go around in the real world wearing that vent on their shoulder all day.

What people like you need to understand is that the dating world is difficult for many men no matter how great they are assuming they are looking for a decent looking female to date.

kilojoule's reply had a generally helpful tone to it, yet you have picked up on something you didn't like in it, blown it out of proportion and replied with hostility, yet you claim to not hold hostility towards anyone :idontknow:

 

[Recidivism]

Ah, hearing this kind of thing hits home, being 5'6" and around 44 kg. It can be hard getting someone in your life while being skinny. Do girls every call you bony? Everyone I try to cuddle with says I'm too sharp to touch and won't go near me. Hope you have better luck in the future.

Sincerely,
-R

P.S., fat girls are way too over-confident with Feminism these days, I wouldn't take it too hard. She's just jealous that you have a healthy BMI. Also, it's not the size of your 'unit' that matters, the g-spot is only 2-3 inches deep in the woman's special place, so most people should be good, including you.

 

[Odo]

P.S., fat girls are way too over-confident with Feminism these days, I wouldn't take it too hard. She's just jealous that you have a healthy BMI.

I know it's not the original topic, but all of this 'fat positive' stuff is truly horrifying to me. Some people are naturally bigger, but celebrating someone's lack of effort just because they don't want to feel bad about it isn't good for anyone.

 

[Recidivism]

I know it's not the original topic, but all of this 'fat positive' stuff is truly horrifying to me. Some people are naturally bigger, but celebrating someone's lack of effort just because they don't want to feel bad about it isn't good for anyone.

Thank goodness someone agrees, I was ready to have my face eaten (along with everything else in the fridge, amiright?)

 

[nodejesque]

As a woman who has a big ***, and is not thin... I can attest to feeling far too self conscious of ever dating a thin man. Not because he is thin, but because of my own body issues.

I automatically feel like a beast at being 5'9 and thick. I wouldn't say fat, but not thin by traditional standards.

I feel like I would crush a man if he was much thinner than I. It's more of a "me" issue. I wouldn't entirely discard the possibility, but like I said.... I'd struggle with the idea of him thinking I was a beast.

 

[nodejesque]

^i k ow plenty of big girls who are healthy and look great. Not only that, but they have the confidence to pull off any look they want.

I don think that it's about celebrating obesity or lack of effort, as much as it is celebrating all body sizes and shapes. People can be big and healthy, just as they can be very small and healthy. It's the shaming that really should stop. In any form. Whether it's towards bodyshapes, weight, height, or jokes such as what you posted. I think it was a joke...


I register at a BMI of 27. It's not thin, I honestly consider myself fat... Even though I try not to think of it so negatively.

I say this, because just like the OP became more aware and conscientious of his size.... It does go both ways and it starts with people whom point out the odvious. Which is why I would feel far too self conscious to date a guy who is thin... Because I know I'm fat. And it's just a stupid cycle.

Anyway, sorry if I make no sense. Just my two cents.

And plus, if I want to spend my dollar on a chocolate bar and not 5 dollars on some cigarettes, then damn it.. I will.

We all have a poison. Mine is chocolate.

 

[kilojoule]

Omg, please tell me you aren't going to bring the "it must be your fault" shaming tactic.

Please don't act like you know me either.

How would you even know what I'm projecting in my body language?

You haven't met me in person, therefore you wouldn't know how I act.

I have seen people do this before, and it rather annoys me:

You think any time a guy is having trouble getting the girl he wants that he holds hostility in his body language, right?

Actually the way I carry myself, my thinking towards other people, men and women, is quite friendly.

If you asked anybody who actually knows me from my old circle of friends if I hold hostility towards anyone, they would tell you no and laugh at how ridiculous the question is.

This isn't about hostility......it's about being skinny.

Just because someone vents something over the internet, doesn't mean they go around in the real world wearing that vent on their shoulder all day.

What people like you need to understand is that the dating world is difficult for many men no matter how great they are assuming they are looking for a decent looking female to date.

erm....no .......my reply (from a year ago ) was not em a 'shaming tactic' (why would I want to shame someone on an SA forum??? :idontknow...or a tactic of any sort(why would I want to use tactics on an SA forum??? :idontknow....

Please don't act like you know me either.

How would you even know what I'm projecting in my body language?

You haven't met me in person, therefore you wouldn't know how I act.

ditto