Awkward Personal Questions

[upndwn]

Maybe tell her that the last girl has really hurt you (sounds like it may be the truth here). I guess your friend is more liberal and can't understand why someone's sex life wouldn't be good, because hers is great.

A female friend of mine mentioned not long ago that she doesn't understand why I'm not with a different girl every week. Um, it's not that easy, darlin'!

She knows about my previous experiences and even warned me about that girl so I guess I only have myself to blame. My friend recently broke up with her boyfriend so in a drunken moment we kind of flirted which was extremely awkward afterwards, but luckily it hasn't affected our friendship.

I get that "why aren't you dating/flirting/having casual sex" questions all the time which makes me both embarrassed and frustrated. The worst was when my uncle asked me and told me that "some people are meant to be alone" after I had tried to come up with a reasonable answer....:thumbdown:

 

[MikeyC]

She knows about my previous experiences and even warned me about that girl so I guess I only have myself to blame. My friend recently broke up with her boyfriend so in a drunken moment we kind of flirted which was extremely awkward afterwards, but luckily it hasn't affected our friendship.

I get that "why aren't you dating/flirting/having casual sex" questions all the time which makes me both embarrassed and frustrated. The worst was when my uncle asked me and told me that "some people are meant to be alone" after I had tried to come up with a reasonable answer....:thumbdown:

The both of you being drunk can be an excuse as to why you two flirted, and it's easier to get through that way.

Your uncle isn't exactly wrong, but only if an individual chooses to be alone.

 

[upndwn]

The both of you being drunk can be an excuse as to why you two flirted, and it's easier to get through that way.

Your uncle isn't exactly wrong, but only if an individual chooses to be alone.

Your probably right, but I still think it was incentive of him to tell me that, especially at Christmas dinner in front of my entire family.

 

[MikeyC]

Your probably right, but I still think it was incentive of him to tell me that, especially at Christmas dinner in front of my entire family.

Yeah, that was tactless indeed.

 

[tcwall]

I used to tell them I play guitar and write songs.

That leads to an even more awkward question (real answers always seem to): "Well then why don't you do something with it?"

Ugh. I prefer to answer: "Meh.... You know". Not creative, but effective.

 

[sahxox]

Don't formulate anything elaborate, just ease around the question if possible... or you could just be completely honest.
e.g. "Why don't you have a job yet?"
(it is none of their ****ing business, but that unfortunately is irrelevant)
a) because I'm waiting to apply to the army/workexperience or something... obviously army one won't work unless you actually are, but if you give an alternative it can stop you from feeling down.
b) express frustration at the terrible state of employment market...
"they're looking for people with experience"
"I've had 438 interviews with 23049 candidates for each so far"
9/10 I used b) over the last 6 months of unemployment, the person I'm talking to has joined me in sincere empathy. It's good

 

[Dinious88]

I say just say what's on your mind. If you act like it not a big deal, they wont think it a big deal also.

 

[zen_mistress]

If you feel awkward, one thing you can do is this. Example: "What do you do?" Say "I am between jobs. What do you do?" and then act interested and ask them questions about their job. It takes the spotlight off you and a lot of people like talking about their jobs. You can also do it with questions about if you have any kids, or are married, just get them talking about themselves and often they will forget about your situation as they are happy to tell their own story.

 

[Xervello]

If you feel awkward, one thing you can do is this. Example: "What do you do?" Say "I am between jobs. What do you do?" and then act interested and ask them questions about their job. It takes the spotlight off you and a lot of people like talking about their jobs. You can also do it with questions about if you have any kids, or are married, just get them talking about themselves and often they will forget about your situation as they are happy to tell their own story.

Spot on! :thumbup:

 

[Flanscho]

Depends on who asks those questions.

Though I think it's kinda odd, that you have no goals in life (not even to find happiness?), and that you say you do nothing in your free time (you sleep 24/7?), because somehow, that seems like a lie even to us in the forum, because you don't even want to mention it here.

I'd never completely lie, because that just results in problems. When talking to close friends, I'd always answer honestly and openly, and regarding people I don't know that well, I'd just say that I don't like to talk about it.

 

[Asphyxiatedragoon]

I always ask personal questions :shyness: .. I am really curious as to know the answer but at the same time I don't care lol. Just answer in the way you are most comfortable answering.

 

[recluse]

Two awkward questions for me;

Do you go out much (as in drinking, clubbing)?

Do you live with your parents? (Awkward because I feel embarassed being 32 and still living with parents)

 

[MBinMN]

deflect back... such as "why do you ask" “I’d rather not say” or, “That’s private,”

 

[frankota]

If you don't feel like sharing or have not-so-good answers, why don't you make up totally outrageous answers!
Your new job is a freelance alien hunter.
Your new goal in life is to travel back to 1066 and give the Anglo-Saxons machine guns so that the Normans can't conquer them.
For all other questions, just do the same thing. It can be kind of fun too.

 

[Hellhound]

The questions you mentioned aren't too personal for me, they look more like typical questions people ask, but that's just me.

The questions I find completely out of place are the ones who have to do with your intimacy. I've tried to approach people lately, and every single one has asked me about my sex life. People who I've talked to once or twice. You just don't ask some unknown stranger about what they do in their bedroom :/

 

[Zod]

I'm not really too avoidant anymore when it comes to this. I think being a bit more open about the less positive sides of my life, without becoming over-dramatic, has actually helped me. People are more understanding then I always assumed they were.

 

[voodoochild16]

Depends on who asks those questions.

Though I think it's kinda odd, that you have no goals in life (not even to find happiness?), and that you say you do nothing in your free time (you sleep 24/7?), because somehow, that seems like a lie even to us in the forum, because you don't even want to mention it here.

I'd never completely lie, because that just results in problems. When talking to close friends, I'd always answer honestly and openly, and regarding people I don't know that well, I'd just say that I don't like to talk about it.

Well the truth is that we (everyone), are all different. We all have different goals, aspirations, etc. Maybe it's odd to her that you have goals?, because it may seem like a helpless world when it's been torn apart from S.A.D.

I do actually lie to the people who I don't want to know what I actually do in my spare time or what goals I have in life, but I'm sure she is actually remaining undecided and is unsure on what she wants to do.

I know plenty of woman or even men that are not sure on what they want to do with themselves, so they say they are unsure and just don't do anything. I'm sure she's mentioned nothing but the truth here so, if you find it weird or believe she's lieing, why believe what anyone is saying on any thread here if they sound odd to you?.

 

[zen_mistress]

I know that I dont know what to do, and it is hard to make goals unless you know what to do.

 

[Isolated_Writer]

Whenever someone asks something along the lines of "do you have plans for the future" I respond with "Gee-I don't know what I'm going to have for breakfast tomorrow". Even if it's a lie (I know exactly what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow. I'm having toast and orange juice), it makes them laugh and people usually drop the question.

 

[Falkor]

Why don't you have a job?

Because I have Social Anxiety and I'm working on myself first.

What are your goals in live? (if you actually have none)

I do have a lot of goals, but their hard to accomplish.

What do you do in your free time? (if you have no friends or hobbies)

I study, read, make songs on my own, I wouldn't tell them I have got not really a social life though. I would make that one as a lie. :$

and so on...

Would you tell the truth? Make up a complete lie? Or just answer something vague and diplomatic?

The work thing, I would be honest. But the social thing, Yeah I would lie about it. It's a bit embarrassing.