Awkward Personal Questions

[StopCryingYourHeartOut]

How do you react when someone asks you an awkward personal question like:

Why don't you have a job?

What are your goals in live? (if you actually have none)

What do you do in your free time? (if you have no friends or hobbies)

and so on...

Would you tell the truth? Make up a complete lie? Or just answer something vague and diplomatic?

I'm having a real problem with this. I don't want to come across as rude and say "none of your business" especially if it's a friend asking these questions. I'm unable to make up lies but on the other hand I'm too ashamed to admit the truth. What's the best to say in these situations?

 

[ukmale]

I say I'm a writer with writers block

My goals in life run away and join the legion

I explore my inner peace by chilling out with a tv show

I have be know to lie and make my life seem more great than it really is but come on how do you tell people that I'm a house bound guy red face moment there its hard to just come out and speak the whole truth and nothing but the truth I try and tell the truth but say something like amatuer chef in the making and try and make light of it then get upset by people

Hope it helps try and make light of it don't lie but don't make your life seem the worlds worse

 

[kihira]

Or just answer something vague and diplomatic?

this

............

 

[jaim38]

What do you do in your free time? (if you have no friends or hobbies)

I respond with something from the past such as "I sometimes hang out with friends, eat out or watch movie at the theatre" (which I used to do). It is true, in the past.

I also answer with something vague like "I do yoga and read fiction." I don't reveal what kind of fiction I read, or what kinds of yoga I do, just be general.

 

[ukmale]

I respond with something from the past such as "I sometimes hang out with friends, eat out or watch movie at the theatre" (which I used to do). It is true, in the past.

So true I have done this soo many times to its not lying as its stuff you do but like you said in the past

Motorcross bbq fishing paintballing list goes on and on but as you start to slowly withdraw from life you stop doing the fun stuff and then end up friendless really

 

[Xervello]

How do you react when someone asks you an awkward personal question like:

Why don't you have a job?

What are your goals in live? (if you actually have none)

What do you do in your free time? (if you have no friends or hobbies)

and so on...

Would you tell the truth? Make up a complete lie? Or just answer something vague and diplomatic?

I'm having a real problem with this. I don't want to come across as rude and say "none of your business" especially if it's a friend asking these questions. I'm unable to make up lies but on the other hand I'm too ashamed to admit the truth. What's the best to say in these situations?

I used to experience "those" questions all the time. I guess it depends on how you want to be perceived. If the goal is to answer so as not to draw an awkward look from the person then it takes finessing the truth a bit, sprinkled in with a little charm. If they ask, "why don't you have a job?" then answer something like, "because I'm picky and lazy (self-deprecating laugh), I'm just trying to find my place, what's best for me right now, and haven't found anything as of yet."

Most of my interactions used to be with family and friends of family. So I got all those kinds of questions that you described a lot. To save face, and not lie to myself, I told the truth in a way that flattered me. Such as: "I don't hang out with people because I have a solitary personality. I'm in this period of my life where I crave learning, reading, creating (fill in your own blank) and these are only answers I can find on my own right now." Granted, that's a lengthy answer to a question someone is only looking for a sentence answer to, lol, but you put it in your own words. Make yourself look however you want to others. There's no harm in embellishing, either to make yourself look better or just to avoid further questions, as long as you know the truth.

The last I'll say is, now, I don't even bother. I tell the truth out-right. I think me being completely honest disarms some people and they find the candor both refreshing and interesting. In that I say it not like I'm ashamed of it, but in a confident, this-is-who-I-am kind of way. I guess that's the benefit of getting older. Or just learning not to care anymore, lol.

 

[BlueDays]

I answer those types of awkward questions the same way I answer the question "How are you?".......

In a socially acceptable way that won't draw any attention to the fact that I have mental problems.

If I have to expand on the truth a little bit to sound "normal", then so be it.

It is easier to cope with saying something that is not exactly the truth, then to cope with the person looking at me with all the negative stigma and opinions attached to mental illness in society.:sad:


You have to think of the best way to handle those questions that makes life as bearable as possible, for YOU.

 

[Steelsoul]

You can tell them the truth or a white lie. A lie about your hobbies or your work wouldn't hurt anyone, even if they find out the truth

 

[Kiwong]

I have job.

What do I do in my spare time. I'd talk for hours if you enjoy the same things.

I have dreams too.

The most awkward question is usually about being on my own. With humans it all gets back to biology in the end. It seems being on your own makes you a questionable person. Spending time with people is the last on my mind. Still people want to put me in a box, gay, straight, bisexual, and sometimes things much worse than that. They're more confused about my relationship status than I am.

 

[MikeyC]

The last I'll say is, now, I don't even bother. I tell the truth out-right. I think me being completely honest disarms some people and they find the candor both refreshing and interesting. In that I say it not like I'm ashamed of it, but in a confident, this-is-who-I-am kind of way. I guess that's the benefit of getting older. Or just learning not to care anymore, lol.

Perfect. erfect: If you tell the truth to whoever's asking, and you don't condescend yourself, you're conveying a sense of confidence in who you are and that you're not ashamed of things you have or haven't done.

Although, I still do run from the "how long has it been since you've had sex?" question.

 

[jc972]

I tell them not to worry about the specifics in my life.

 

[hidwell]

I have job.

What do I do in my spare time. I'd talk for hours if you enjoy the same things.

I have dreams too.

The most awkward question is usually about being on my own. With humans it all gets back to biology in the end. It seems being on your own makes you a questionable person. Spending time with people is the last on my mind. Still people want to put me in a box, gay, straight, bisexual, and sometimes things much worse than that. They're more confused about my relationship status than I am.

It always amazes me just how insecure so called normal people really are.

 

[Kiwong]

It always amazes me just how insecure so called normal people really are.

Yep, I get to watch as a silent observer the way people respond to my anxiety some with insecurity. I guess that is my fear coming a reality.

 

[Odo]

Although, I still do run from the "how long has it been since you've had sex?" question.

I would be far more embarrassed for the person asking this than for myself.

I'm embarrassed by pretty much any question related to everything that adults are supposed to have or do… but the biggest one is marriage/ girlfriend/ relationships.

 

[StopCryingYourHeartOut]

Thank you all for your input.

I have just noticed there’s a similar thread about the kind of questions that make people anxious: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/questions-that-cause-you-anxiety-55199/
Based on the posts here and there it seems that people find questions relating to relationships and work/free time the most awkward and anxiety provoking.

In terms of answering these questions, no matter how confident I tried to sound in the past when I answered honestly I always had a feeling that people were judging me negatively and looking down on me.

Unfortunately I’m not the type of person who can come up with a socially acceptable, witty and not-too-far-from-the-truth answer on the spot. I’m planning on making a list of frequently asked awkward questions I get and I’ll work out a few possible safe answers. Hopefully this will help me deal with these situations better in the future.

 

[upndwn]

I lean towards the vague and diplomatic answers option. I have no problem when it comes to answering questions about my strong sides, but I feel I have missed out on so much in life that others take for granted. Simple things like not having a drivers license and not really being in a real relationship even if I'm 34 years old.

I have a friend who's an expert in asking those questions, but I have found her to be very insecure about herself even if she's got a lot to be proud of in her life.

 

[Xervello]

Although, I still do run from the "how long has it been since you've had sex?" question.

LoL, who asks you that?

 

[MikeyC]

LoL, who asks you that?

Not many people, but when sex comes up in conversation, and people are talking about their sexual exploits, so to speak, then that becomes bad for me because, well, I have none.

It's happened a couple of times and I always try to extricate myself from the conversation!

 

[upndwn]

Not many people, but when sex comes up in conversation, and people are talking about their sexual exploits, so to speak, then that becomes bad for me because, well, I have none.

It's happened a couple of times and I always try to extricate myself from the conversation!

I can relate, my sexual experiences are limited to say the least and it's been over a year since I was with a girl and that was only a couple of times and didn't end very well. I have a friend that is very direct about her sex life and she has a tendency to ask these awkward questions, typically when a lot of my other friends are present. She's truly puzzled by my non-existent love life.

 

[MikeyC]

I can relate, my sexual experiences are limited to say the least and it's been over a year since I was with a girl and that was only a couple of times and didn't end very well. I have a friend that is very direct about her sex life and she has a tendency to ask these awkward questions, typically when a lot of my other friends are present. She's truly puzzled by my non-existent love life.

Maybe tell her that the last girl has really hurt you (sounds like it may be the truth here). I guess your friend is more liberal and can't understand why someone's sex life wouldn't be good, because hers is great.

A female friend of mine mentioned not long ago that she doesn't understand why I'm not with a different girl every week. Um, it's not that easy, darlin'!