Are you good enough? For the opposite sex?

i never got rejected, cause i never tried. I'm too pussy

Definitely not. I don't think I've got much to offer, anyway.

twiggle said: ↑

I've used what you're calling the Friendzone Fiona (hahaha) line, the truth is it a little cliched but I've never said it without meaning every word of it. I've only used it a couple of times but on both occasions it was because I felt the guys involved were way too decent to have to put up with my weird moods and things. I didn't feel that I could treat them as well as they treated me. Maybe it was a mistake in hindsight, perhaps I let go of what could have been something special, all I'm saying is that: it's not always a phrase people use just to make a guy look elsewhere.

It seems to be a line that is used a lot more by girls than by guys. I'm not saying that a guy has never used a variation of it, but whenever I see it brought up on forums like this it seems to be almost exclusively a guy on the receiving end.

I think a lot of girls do probably use it (with the best intentions) as a way of letting a guy down gently. To a guy receiving that line though, I think it's a very confusing thing to hear. After all, if a guy thinks a girl is really great then why wouldn't he want to be in a relationship with her himself?

Rembrandt Broam said: ↑

...if a guy thinks a girl is really great then why wouldn't he want to be in a relationship with her himself?

because he knows that he will eventually disappoint her and let her down like he has with everyone else in his life, and he cares for her too much to see her get hurt in the same fashion

it's ok to know your own limitations

for instance, i realize that i have nothing more to offer a woman other than a good time

i'm ok with that

I feel like I'm not sometimes. *shrugs*

bleach said: ↑

sexual freedom just makes everyone more miserable. it has increased everyones dissatisfaction, and heartbreak. there is no reason to stick in a relationship once the limerance wears off, or to try to make a marriage work when you have disagreements. actually there is now no reason to get married at all, since i is just a meaningless institution when it can be ended so easily. but instead you have the freedom "date" a thousand peoplein one lifetime... a thousand empty experiences with strangers who will never love you.

Totally agree.

I see no reason to get married aside from the legal benefits. But then, those "benefits" can turn into a nightmare when the inevitable divorce rolls around.

Honestly, I don't even see a reason for creating kids. At all. Most relationships statistically do not work out in the long run, so from the get-go you are dooming your children to have a "broken family" (statistically-speaking of course, this isn't EVERYONE). And then you must work out the legal parts of it. All over something that was once just infatuation or lust, probably.

Yes, I'm a pessimist. But look at the reality of it. I say pessimists are far more realistic and grounded than optimists 😛

bleach said: ↑

sexual freedom just makes everyone more miserable. it has increased everyones dissatisfaction, and heartbreak. there is no reason to stick in a relationship once the limerance wears off, or to try to make a marriage work when you have disagreements. actually there is now no reason to get married at all, since i is just a meaningless institution when it can be ended so easily. but instead you have the freedom "date" a thousand peoplein one lifetime... a thousand empty experiences with strangers who will never love you.

oh yeah, i'd much rather be stuck in a relationship with someone who was only there because she was forced to be there by an unbreakable legal contract rather than because she wakes up every morning making the choice to be with me when she could just as easily leave if she wanted

coyote said: ↑

oh yeah, i'd much rather be stuck in a relationship with someone who was only there because she was forced to be there by an unbreakable legal contract rather than because she wakes up every morning making the choice to be with me when she could just as easily leave if she wanted

This is also true... I guess there is just good and bad to everything, no "right" way to go about it.

maybe the upside of marriage is theres no easy way out. its easier to give up w/o marriage.

i remember reading some article about 'scienctific research on evolution' says we are better off havin 10 year relationships then move on to another spouse. the kids would be old enough by that time. something like that. There are also 10-year marriage contracts being proposed now

dyingtolive said: ↑

i remember reading some article about 'scienctific research on evolution' says we are better off havin 10 year relationships then move on to another spouse. the kids would be old enough by that time. something like that. There are also 10-year marriage contracts being proposed now

i think that's a wonderful idea

marriages should have a bulit-in end date - like a military enlistment

at the end of that time, both parties could have the choice of re-upping the contract

or they could part ways, peacefully, naturally, when the time is up

perfect

I think that to be able to believe your good to have a relationship you need to be able to accept all of your own vices and virtues. Personally, I know I'm good enough to be with someone and its not because I think i'm amazing either. You just have to know that everyone out there hates something or everything about themselves, so you are just as good to have someone as anyone else. im also an optimist

dyingtolive said: ↑

maybe the upside of marriage is theres no easy way out. its easier to give up w/o marriage.

in my experience, it can be very easy for a married couple to give up on their relationship - thinking that the marriage will save it

the relationship dies, but the marriage continues stumbling on like a zombie

meanwhile, people in non-traditional relationships continually breath life into their partnership each day they choose to be with one another - and if it dies, it dies a quick, painless death

MikeyC said: ↑

This reminds me of: "You will find a great girl one day." Said by girls who want me to find other girls who are not them. Meaning: "You deserve a great girlfriend, but I won't date you."

Haha, I've had that said to me a few times:😛:. Thing is though, I disagree with them, segwaying into my answer:

No, I don't think I'm good enough. I'm a boring loser with nothing to offer. I don't see what any woman could see in me. I'm working on getting a job and learning how to drive, but I don't think that it will help my horrid view of myself.

coyote said: ↑

in my experience, it can be very easy for a married couple to give up on their relationship - thinking that the marriage will save it

the relationship dies, but the marriage continues stumbling on like a zombie

meanwhile, people in non-traditional relationships continually breath life into their partnership each day they choose to be with one another - and if it dies, it dies a quick, painless death

yeah this makes more sense to me.. the zombified marriages sound very common..

i always would've preferred to not get married. Probably the only reason to do so would be to satisfy the rules/standards of the girl's parents

No not really. Out of all the guys out there I just dont know why any girl would choose me. Im not very good looking,Im not funny,unique,nor am I very interesting. Im nothing special,im the walking definition of mediocrity. A girl wouldnt have to look very far to find a guy thats much better:🙁:

Nope, never thought I was worthy of having someone that loves me anyways.
Been hurt so many times and always think it was my fault.

Rembrandt Broam said: ↑

What matters is whether someone else feels we're right (I don't really like the term 'good enough') for them.

The problem is that I try to make their decision for them (and determine that I'm not, and run away).

I need to leave them to it.

I feel that I am attractive enough to be with just about anyone based on that but I am extremely antisocial. Besides, I hate leaving the house, which is the opposite for most people. I don't think anyone could have a relationship with me just based on that.

At the moment I do not believe I am ready to have a partner becuase I first need to deal with myself first, I have too many problems and insecurites and I believe it will drive them crazy and I do not believe that there is someone out there who can take me on at the moment really :/

I do belive that I am not good enough, it's like why would any guy go for me when they have a million other girls who actually have a personality while I can never show mine because I am just to shy to be myself :🙁:

But hopefully one day I will get over this a little at least and meet someone and it'll be alright 😀

Hell yeah, of course I'm good enough for the opposite sex. If I don't think that who will?