Are you good enough? For the opposite sex?

[dyingtolive]

^ i feel the same way meggy.

i guess for me its reaching the point where i need to hurry up because i am getting old
but there are also still some things about me that i do not know if i can ever change... and so no matter how ready i can make myself, i will always still not be 100% ready or confident.

for me its also like manufacturing and putting out a product into the market.

 

[028ellie81]

I am in the same position at the moment. I want a serious boyfriend, preferably marriage and children. I am now 31 and panicking about being alone forever and never having my own children (I love kids). I know that I am reasonably ok looking and do attract male attention.The difficulty lies in the fact that I never go out (Social Anxiety Disorder) and when I do talk to a man I become self conscious and shy. I feel that I am a total bore. This is my underlying belief about myself which I am trying to change through affirmations. I guess it is a classic symtom of Social Phobia

 

[dyingtolive]

^ meeting people is hard too.. its been so long since ive just went out. having a drink makes things easier in shyness but ive quit. well interacting with people here online atleast is a bit of practice even if little

 

[bleach]

maybe the upside of marriage is theres no easy way out. its easier to give up w/o marriage.

i remember reading some article about 'scienctific research on evolution' says we are better off havin 10 year relationships then move on to another spouse. the kids would be old enough by that time. something like that. There are also 10-year marriage contracts being proposed now

lol sounds very scientific, age 10 the kids should be able to handle the break up of their family? what if you have multiple kids of different ages? well why should we let these petty concerns get in the way of our narcissism

 

[MrJones]

Not feeling like it yet, but I'm currently engaging in self improvement every day.

That's good you are trying to imprive.

I do think you are already good enough (and much more than that) for the opposite sex.

 

[dyingtolive]

lol sounds very scientific, age 10 the kids should be able to handle the break up of their family? what if you have multiple kids of different ages? well why should we let these petty concerns get in the way of our narcissism

yes bleach i agree that bit alone is abit iffy. though i also mentioned 'something like that' there was probably more stuff in the article, maybe evolution wise like cave-man days.. by 10 the child is about getting ready to become a man maybe. and about ready to become his own man, i dont know. The mother would still be the mother, but the father would be on his way out

 

[bleach]

in my experience, it can be very easy for a married couple to give up on their relationship - thinking that the marriage will save it

the relationship dies, but the marriage continues stumbling on like a zombie

meanwhile, people in non-traditional relationships continually breath life into their partnership each day they choose to be with one another - and if it dies, it dies a quick, painless death

your basic confusion is that marriages are about child rearing not epicureanism, if you dont want/cant have kids and just want to "have a good time" there is no reason to get married

 

[coyote]

your basic confusion is that marriages are about child rearing not epicureanism, if you dont want/cant have kids and just want to "have a good time" there is no reason to get married

i've actually been married, twice - and had children

everything is not always so black and white

 

[Opaline]

i've actually been married, twice - and had children

everything is not always so black and white

I did not know you had children. All this time!

 

[EscapeArtist]

I don't think I'm able to attract the right person at the stage I am at because I am not where I would like to be and know I'm going to be one day. So in a sense no because I'm not putting out the parts of me that are good enough for myself, to attract the right person

 

[Kiwong]

This whole opposite sex malarky paralyses me with fear. It caused me an inordinate amount of pain in the past. I've discovered a freedom not thinking or worrying about it. One of the advantages of being older.

 

[dyingtolive]

^ i think i can relate a bit kiwong since most my life i feel the same way, ive learned to not be lonely. its just that sometimes, yearning and loneliness in moments it can hit you.. but it can be easily be brushed away i guess, but do u get those moments where it does hit you? im guessing it is just normal but u can quickly brush it away easily?

 

[bleach]

This whole opposite sex malarky paralyses me with fear. It caused me an inordinate amount of pain in the past. I've discovered a freedom not thinking or worrying about it. One of the advantages of being older.

wise words, look at Isaac Newtn. he didnt care about sex and love and he accomplished more than anyone in history. shows what a waste of time and good creative energy those things are.

 

[*Amy*]

I think that your real worth depends on what you think it is. I have very low self-esteem and feel unsure about everything I do (especially if it's something new) so I guess I don't have an objective point of view about myself. To answer your question honestly, no, I don't think I am good enough. But again, all you think turns into reality. What you are depends on what you think you are.

 

[SilentBird]

But again, all you think turns into reality. What you are depends on what you think you are.

I have found this out the hard way ::

 

[A friend]

I see myself as more than good enough for the opposite gender...however, I'm not emotionally ready for that yet.

When it comes to women, I get too wound up with negativity, although that's mainly due to their lust for status symbols. -_-

 

[Kiwong]

I'm good enough for myself.

If I'm not good enough for anyone, it's not anyone's fault.

 

[AGR]

I dont really know if I am good enough,thats for somebody else to answer,but I dont feel good enough,mostly because I dont feel that I am symetrical,I want to finish my studies some day and I dont have any close friends,the only opportunity for friends are with not so good people so I try to avoid those.

 

[da_illest101]

hard to say, though I don't think it's possible to be good enough for every type of girls that exist. I think I'm good enough for a girl who simply don't expect much out of me

 

[Tomasso]

Nope. I don't think I am.

I used to back in high school because I actually hooked up with a decent looking girl on a few occasions.

Fast forward to college, no. In high school occasionally a girl would say I was cute, but I haven't had anything positive said to me about my appearance since then.

That hardest thing is that I'm smaller than most girls so they automatically are less interested. I'm about 5'7 and 125 pounds, very skinny and very short. Couple that with social anxiety and you can see that I'm not a person who is noticed.