Accepting compliments

[emmasma]

Does anyone else have trouble accepting compliments?
If someone gives me a compliment I just do not know how to react right. It is really awkward for me and sometimes even the other person when I come off all wierd.

The other day at work a daughter of one of the patients kept telling me how great of a caregiver I am. I was trying to avoid her the rest of the day. Then when her sister showed up I heard her telling her about how great I am and I just wanted to hide!

I know she was sincere and impressed with my work, but I just cant seem to graciously accept compliments.

 

[Shift]

I know how you feel! Compliments are always awkward for me...

Like the other day, I spoke in one of my classes for the first time (I know it's been like 3 months and the semester's almost over) and a guy came up to me after class and told me I had a beautiful voice and that he wishes everyone could hear it more often. I couldn't speak or look him in the eye after that. I also feel really bad because I feel like I should have at least said thank you or something...

 

[Mokkat]

Compliments? I feel excactly like you. I cannot process a compliment in a normal way, often I come off as being upset or embarrased about when someone 'try' to compliment me.

Also Im a perfectionist, in the sense that I can't ever accept that Im good at something

 

[Hellhound]

It feels weird if i get a compliment... A critique sounds more "normal". Deep inside, i don't like thinking like this at all... I wish it were the other way round, lol.

 

[Enialis227]

I always think that the person complimenting me is not being sincere, or am at best extremely sceptical and look for confirmation of their message.

 

[oui]

Yeah, when I get one, I don't just feel weird, I feel as though the person is lying to me. Especially if it's something about the way I look, I never believe them.

 

[Harleyq]

I love compliments. It used to be weird but I've learned to just smile and say "thanks" or make a quick comment about where I got it, if I'm being complimented on a material object.

This post and similar ones make me kind of self-conscious about giving compliments, though, especially to others on SPW. Makes me wonder if other members think I'm being fake when I let someone know I like their post, or they seem like a really nice person, or whatever the case may be.

 

[Tiercel]

I never feel worthy of compliments. Whether it's that I write well, I'm a good worker, or just that I'm a nice person, my first thought is always "bullsh*t!" But at least now I can graciously accept them before reverting back to my usual "I'm not worthy!" stance.

This has to do with my self-esteem being in the toilet, not on any anxieties I may have. But I guess one can't blame everything on SA.

 

[philly2bits]

It would depend on how well I knew the person who gave the compliment. It would also depend on whether I was self-conscious about what they were complimenting. It seems like a form of judging. Except with a compliment, the verdict came back "good" instead of bad. It's for that reason I don't give many compliments to people I don't know well. I don't want the person to feel like I was judging them, even if I wasn't judging in a bad way.

 

[BlueDays]

especially from people who know me. They know that I won't believe their compliment, so why bother?

 

[Walk]

I enjoy compliments. Sometimes I like to pretend I don't mind, but truth is, I like them. I think I might take them too seriously. Sometimes people tell me I'm nice. Then I try to be TOO nice that entire month. Or sometimes someone might say I'm good looking... then I worry TOO much how I look. Vice versa; if someone says something negative, I sort of obsess over that too.

A quick "thanks" should do it. If you do your best at something, someone might recognize it. Thank them. Or say "you're welcome". And just try to keep being yourself. This is what I try to do now... being mentally weak (like I am) makes one go into extremes such as depression and arrogance quite easily.

 

[Why]

yeah i got a hard time, im usually very modest around strangers

when my boss compliments me, i just sorta nod or say mhmm... not like yeah im the best!
when girls compliment me, i sorta am the same way... also i almost never compliment strangers, and i really have to start. i heard compliments are a big part of flirting

 

[dooby-duck]

I find it hard taking compliments as well. I think it's because I hate any attention, positive or negative. I also have a habit of brushing positive comments and compliments off which can annoy some people. It's not the compliment itself that I hate, I quite like them, It's more the way I should react to them.

 

[emmasma]

I find it hard taking compliments as well. I think it's because I hate any attention, positive or negative. I also have a habit of brushing positive comments and compliments off which can annoy some people. It's not the compliment itself that I hate, I quite like them, It's more the way I should react to them.

I think that says it. I really do enjoy knowing I am good at what I am doing, It gives me confidence. I even think I react appropriately most of the time. I just feel wierd.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

It depends on what kind of compliments they are. I usually just say "Thanks" if it's something I agree with, or know to be true, because I don't know what else to say. But I've been given "compliments" before by people who didn't know the entire situation or whatever & that I didn't agree with at all. Those are the really weird times. I never know what to do or say, so I just don't really say anything & look around feeling stupid, while they stare.

 

[Harleyq]

It depends on what kind of compliments they are. I usually just say "Thanks" if it's something I agree with, or know to be true, because I don't know what else to say. But I've been given "compliments" before by people who didn't know the entire situation or whatever & that I didn't agree with at all. Those are the really weird times. I never know what to do or say, so I just don't really say anything & look around feeling stupid, while they stare.

Agreed. If I get compliments that I think I don't deserve I'm like "Yeah..well..um..." Idk whether to say "thanks" and let it go or explain myself.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Agreed. If I get compliments that I think I don't deserve I'm like "Yeah..well..um..." Idk whether to say "thanks" and let it go or explain myself.

You explained it much better than I did lol

 

[iamthenra]

I know that feeling too. I have a very difficult time accepting or even believing the compliment especially if they are complimenting me on my appearance. Then I start to think that they are making fun of me in some kind of sick joke. Like for instance someone complimented me on how I wrap gifts, and my first thought was that they are joking and not serious, and in fact that they hate the way I wrap gifts... because there can't be any good qualities that I posses or at least good enough for anyone else besides me. I react the same way when someone gives me something. I just am not good at receiving anything, which is why I tend to give everyone allot. I buy everyone's love or friendship if I can buy it to make them like me and want to be around me.

 

[exquisite]

funny you post a thread like this, since recently, i was thinking about the same thing. i have incredible trouble accepting & reacting to compliments. frankly, i have this paranoia that people are being fake, so whenever people pay me a compliment, i never know what to say or how to react, since i always have this little thought in the back of my mind that theyre lying or playing a joke on me, or they just want to get something out of it. even with my ex, he'd tell me i have pretty eyes or something & i'd just laugh it off. he'd tell me that im messed up, & why cant i just take a compliment. thats so weird that im not the only one... oh, sa is a funny little thing...

 

[lunarla]

It depends who it's coming from sort of. If it's coming from one person in particular I get this physical pang in the pit of my stomach. Even with receiving affection I get that too. I've decided that it was basically from wanting so bad to believe it, but not being able to feel worthy. If other people I don't really know are complimenting me, I usually think they're just trying to be nice or have some ulterior motive. I don't get any physical feeling, I just push it off as nothing positive. I don't really gettttt complimented in person about my looks, so I take that as me just not being attractive to people. If I'm complimented on my school work or something, I can usually take that because I have relative confidence with my ability in that kind of thing.