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Old 6 Days Ago
PugofCrydee's Avatar
Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
Depressed, but then it's been quite a depressing day for me today. Don't know why I even bothered to get outta bed this morning.
cause going to the toilet in your bed would be a bad thing.
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Old 6 Days Ago
Graeme1988's Avatar
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Originally Posted by PugofCrydee View Post
cause going to the toilet in your bed would be a bad thing.
Ye got me there. Och, ye knew what I meant! It's been a really shite day from the moment I woke up this morning.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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Originally Posted by Graeme1988 View Post
Depressed, but then it's been quite a depressing day for me today. Don't know why I even bothered to get outta bed this morning.
This is me everyday Graeme. I don't get a break from my mental hell really. I mean throughout the day there might be like a minute where it stops but that's about it. Honestly, the first thought that comes into my head when I wake up is "oh no here we go again another day of misery is awaiting me and there is nothing I can do about it." Needless to say I know the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed very well unfortunately. I hope for you that these things are not an everyday occurrence.
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Old 6 Days Ago
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I'm feeling very bored and in need of social interaction to improve my communication skills and my English. I complain about my brain power and retaining memory. I'm just going to smoke some Cannabis lol jk.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by defiance View Post
This is me everyday Graeme. I don't get a break from my mental hell really. I mean throughout the day there might be like a minute where it stops but that's about it. Honestly, the first thought that comes into my head when I wake up is "oh no here we go again another day of misery is awaiting me and there is nothing I can do about it." Needless to say I know the feeling of not wanting to get out of bed very well unfortunately. I hope for you that these things are not an everyday occurrence.
Isn't there anything you can do to take yer mind off feeling that way? Nothing major, I mean like listening to yer favourite music, or watching a movie you enjoy. I can definitely relate to the "Here we go again... Aw, f**k sake!" feeling of waking up miserable. So, you're not the only one, sadly.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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Why can't I just go peacefully in my sleep? It's all I deserve for being worthless and a let down. So much misery because of me.....so much.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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Quite possibly on the verge o' huvin a nervous breakdown. Like I don't know how much longer I can listen to my mum complain to me, everyday. Beit her knee being sore. Her hip. Oh, she feels dizzy. The town we live in is shit. Just whinging like ungrateful, lazy, spoiled brat. It's enough to make me want to seriously kill myself.

And her communicate skills are f**kin' infuriating - refererring to every object as a thing. Urgh!! Pisses me off it really does. Then, she wonders why I end up losing my temper with her.. She doesn't help matters by goading me into punching her in the face whenever I get pissed off at her - which I'm afraid I might actually do, someday. Like father, like son.

But no, it's me who's lazy, burden to the family, apparently. Despite being the person who they take advantage, and treat like crap. Besides, who gives a f**k if my family are too lazy to take responsibility and make sure things get done? Naw, leave tae me! It's like I've got myself to think about as far well-being goes..

Anyway, mini rant over. On the less dysfunctional side o' things, I spent 2 hours straight composing drum beats with the music software on my laptop. Boy! Time sure flies by when ye take yer mind off your, or someone else's, problems. Just kinda wish happiness wasn't such a temporary feeling for me, though. But ye can't be happy all the time.
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Old 5 Days Ago
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I'm feeling lonely, ugly, diseased. I'm a leper in a land of perfect, beautiful people. Should they judge me, scorn me, curse me, stone me, at least it would be something, but they ignore me, and that's even worse. I'm left to do the other stuff myself.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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It hurts to breathe. I try and I try and I try to make the best out of my days but sometimes it just isn't meant to be. Fear, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts are in the drivers seat and I am a passenger sitting all the way in the back wondering how I can regain control. I have to find a job soon and I am too afraid to do so. I need to start driving but again I am too afraid to do so. Funny thing is that I have done both these things in the past and yet they didn't get any easier so that just frustrates me even more. I can't possibly see how someone like me is supposed to survive in this world.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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I really dream of becoming a hermit.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Feel i'm starting on the slow winter decline again. Eating less, doing less, feeling more bored/depressed.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiwong View Post
I really dream of becoming a hermit.
So do I, man. So do I...
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Don't you love it when you wake up in the morning and all you feel all throughout your body is fear and regret? What a wonderful way to start your morning.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by defiance View Post
Don't you love it when you wake up in the morning and all you feel all throughout your body is fear and regret? What a wonderful way to start your morning.
Yes, every Monday morning I feel fear of venturing into a world of strangers.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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It's raining outside. I can hear the soft patter through my open window: millions of droplets striking millions of leaves, an occasional bird call slipping through the steady hum. The blinds are up, but what little daylight filters through the clouds barely illuminates my little room.

I'm all alone in the dark and feeling suicidal.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Happy and emotional and hopeful at the same time, because I'll move back to my parents place, so it's easier to move to another place if I've found another place. I don't have good contact with my parents, but I wanna move to another city so, I've been selling stuff and getting rid of more and more stuff that I don't need anymore. My house is getting empty, yes! I'm just looking forward for the future.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by defiance View Post
Don't you love it when you wake up in the morning and all you feel all throughout your body is fear and regret? What a wonderful way to start your morning.
I can definitely relate, there. Though, ah'll take waking up with a body full of fear and regret over insomnia.
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Oh, I can't f**kin' wait til I get the house to myself for a wee while in a few weeks time! Might actually get the house uncluttered? Ironically enough, my oldest sister got a bit crabbit with our mum because she's - my sister - sick of hearing excuses for why my mum won't keep the house tidy. If only she knew what I had to put up with. At least, my sister isn't be verbally abused for losing her temper with our mum, even if it's just slightly.

Me, on the other hand. I dare not even tell my mum to do anything. Otherwise, it's the usual mantra of how I'm just like my dad. But I'm getting fed-up of the dumb arguments and my mum making a fuss over a trivial issues that shouldnae be such such a big deal... if yer a sane person.

And she's an ungrateful ____ , truly. I picked some biscuits for her, today - as she'd asked. Since she'd forgot to buy them when doing the shopping the day. And I got her some different ones as well, alongside the biscuits she told me to get. just for a change. As soon I show her the other packet, she tells me she doesn't want them. As ye cun probably tell, I'm getting fed-up doing nice things for my family, only for them not appreciate the gesture.
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Old 3 Days Ago
 

I've been lifting weights trying to get in shape and feel paranoid about my muscle growth. My arms look too masculine and now I'm concerned about the amount of testosterone in my body - ****. Both of my parents are former bodybuilders, so maybe my ability to put on muscle like that is genetic? God, I hope so - I really don't want to look like a man :(
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Old 3 Days Ago
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Originally Posted by Sarah_M View Post
I've been lifting weights trying to get in shape and feel paranoid about my muscle growth. My arms look too masculine and now I'm concerned about the amount of testosterone in my body - ****. Both of my parents are former bodybuilders, so maybe my ability to put on muscle like that is genetic? God, I hope so - I really don't want to look like a man :(
As long as it's just the arms... Sorry, nay offence intended by that cheeky wee quip. I can relate, though. I'm equally paranoid, or more self-conscious, about the muscle growth of my arm. Pretty sure my right arm's bigger than my left, in fact. I need to get back in shape as well. Haven't been to my local gym in nearly a year.
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