what do you think - am i a 'nice guy'?

[AGR]

I think the world is overcrowded by jerks and no its not my excuse for being rejected by girls,I cant even find a nice person to be friends with,all they want to do is bad stuff,drugs,stealing,flirting with other's people wives,cheating,putting other people down,fights,taking advantage of others and etc.

 

[EasySkanking]

Yeah coyote's a nice guy, except I voted "meh, I really don't know or care" thinking I would be the only one and that it would be funny... I should've gone for "you are a jerk"

 

[coyote]

What you seem to forget, is that this world isn't composed exclusively of nice guys and jerks. Fortunately, it is a lot more diversified.

interesting point, hmmmmm

you may be on to something

 

[KiaKaha]

Well there are some things I like about you coyote and somethings I don't. I do sometimes have a bit of a problem with what I interpret as condescension, patronizing or superior tone with others - although, I think you do it unintentionally - and it is pleasing to see that it is not nearly happening as much as it used to. I also think - that you are stubborn.... but I also think that *I* am just as stubborn - if not more so. I think that I see things in almost a polar opposite to yourself - and some of the ideas you have I do not agree with.

However I think your heart is in the right place. I think that you are truly wanting to help people who are suffering from anxiety, depression and other such issues. I admire your calm demeanor, your respect for other members and the inclination to focus on solutions rather than problems. I also (although sometimes not quite my taste) your sense of humour. Wit - is a sign of intelligence.

But to answer your question - do I think that you are a nice guy? Yes - overall, I do. You are pleasant, easygoing, friendly and engaging. All in what I think constitutes as being nice.

 

[Hellhound]

Coyote would make a good psychologist. Just sayin'

 

[vj288]

I don't really think it is that there are nice guys and bad guys, but rather people with "good" or "nice" qualities and those with "bad" qualities. Actually, I think everyone has a mix of each of these qualities. So if you look for the bad qualities in someone (which you can find in all of us) you can easily label them as a "jerk" or an *******, as opposed to the "nice" guys out there who never do wrong. You can have a "nice"demenor, meaning you act kindly and appear to be nice, but just because others don't always present themselves and nice people doesn't mean they don't have any nice in them. We're all social phobics on this site, and can probably relate to this, with our quietness or awkwardness being taken to mean we're stuck up or stupid or snobbish, when it's not those things. You don't have to act like a nice guy to be a nice guy or have nice qualities. A lot of these "jerks" are probably a lot nicer than they appear.

 

[BlueDays]

What you seem to forget, is that this world isn't composed exclusively of nice guys and jerks. Fortunately, it is a lot more diversified.

^ Exactly.
Black and White thinking just starts a lot of arguments.


Coyote I have never seen you treat anyone in this forum with disrespect. I would define you as a good man.

I no longer like using the term "nice guy". It now brings up arguments over its description and has evolved into possibly meaning something different then it used to mean, therefore it can no longer just be given as a compliment.

 

[KiaKaha]

Coyote would make a good psychologist. Just sayin'

mmmm.......

:thinking:

I think his strength lies in other areas personally.

 

[hidwell]

Coyote is the Grandfather of the forum.

 

[KiaKaha]

I think a redefinition of what a nice guy is (or rather a nice person) and a jerk really is.
Everyone has certain good and bad and them - some have more good and some have more bad than others -but still lets face it - there are both men and women - who are quite simply, scum - and that may sound harsh and unfair - but It is true.

I think it is quite unfortunate that the word 'nice' has evolved into a word with such strong negative connotations. We all like to describe ourselves using certain adjectives - when we are trying to come across to someone (take questionnaires, online profiles, job interviews for example etc) but ultimately it is *always* up to someone else to make up their own minds as to whether or not they agree with how you like to think that you are. I also find it interesting how the word nice is always followed by 'guy' what about 'nice' women? Do they not count? and if they do are 'nice women' by the same token of the new definition of being a 'nice man' manipulative, passive aggressive and clingy?

I know why this has come about - it has come about from a sense of injustice and bitterness felt by males who consider themselves to be nice people but have continually been rejected by women or passed over for other men who may not treat them as well as they would like to think that they would.

I have my own theories on the 'nice guy syndrome' and it is a little bit of both sides of the argument....I am tempted to explain exactly what this is - however, I do fear that if I do I will be branded as accusatory and bitter toward females and as a generalist who is only seeing thing in black and white - and the only reason it would come across that way, is because I have lived my entire existence as a male, who like anyone else - desires a sense of companionship and love.

It's funny - but on different forums - the same questions and issues and types of discussions get such starkly contrasted opinions and conclusions.

 

[Remus]

Coyote is the Grandfather of the forum.

:lol:

...............

 

[Agent_Violet]

so, yeah, there's this whole debate about what makes someone a 'nice guy' and why women are attracted or repulsed by them

but, frankly, i have no idea whether i am a 'nice guy' or not - so i have a hard time feeling like a credible voice in the dialog

perhaps your opinion of me can help shed some light on this phenomenon

add comments if you like. be honest - i won't be offended, promise

remember, this is for science!

no.I don't think you're a "nice guy" in the doormat definition.I've talked to you enough to determine you're a sweet,kind,caring,delightfully sarcastic,enigmatic man.But a "nice guy"(doormat) you are not. Genuine nice guy, as in you want to see the person you love happy and satisfied and will do most anything to make it happen,yes,that's you dear

 

[Agent_Violet]

For what it's worth,I'm with a nice guy and I think it's the most wonderful thing in the entire world.Other women can have the super alpha male guys..I'll stick to the sweet,shy,and loving nice guy ;-)

 

[coyote]

mmmm.......

:thinking:

I think his strength lies in other areas personally.

male escort?

 

[OceanMist]

so, yeah, there's this whole debate about what makes someone a 'nice guy' and why women are attracted or repulsed by them

but, frankly, i have no idea whether i am a 'nice guy' or not - so i have a hard time feeling like a credible voice in the dialog

perhaps your opinion of me can help shed some light on this phenomenon

add comments if you like. be honest - i won't be offended, promise

remember, this is for science!

You probably are a nice guy. In truth we haven't met, so I can't know for sure, but you sound nice on here so I will assume you are nice.

My take on the nice guy thing is that most women want a nice guy. There is nothing wrong with being a nice guy.

The problem is that a lot of people tend to confuse nice guy with unassertive, shy guy which are two totally different things. A man can be nice and assertive, many men are that way.

The nice guys finish last quote should be quiet, unassertive guys finish last.

 

[MikeyC]

male escort?

You'd make a killing. :inlove:

 

[BlueDays]

You'd make a killing. :inlove:

touché ! :applause: lol

 

[Opaline]

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

What Oceanmist said - a nice guy who is assertive. That is perfect. I want one of those :inlove: haha

 

[KiaKaha]

Shyness/social anxiety = Epitome of lack of confidence/self esteem
What the majority of women find attractive = confidence

Chance of (genuinely) nice and amiable but shy guy inciting interest from girls? Slim.

Kinda sucks really. I am using equals signs - that means it is science.

Which is why bad boys are so damned attractive.... mmmm bad boys...

Oops.... did I let that slip out...

Sorry....as you were...

Oceanmist is quite right though. Tis' a shame so many people can't differentiate and separate quality traits from the not so quality traits. I often wonder that virtues and characteristics that so many people claim to value - are actually characteristics that are genuinely admired and desired? There seems to be a massive discrepancy between what people say is important - and what people actually do find important.

 

[KiaKaha]

male escort?

You are probably more suited to that than psychologist.

Are you doing those squats?