Would you forgive bullies years later

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sevenroses

Well-known member
Would you forgive bullies if you bumped into them years later and they were nice to you. I personally would. I would never forget what they have done but I`m willing to forgive. Getting even doesn`t solve problems in my book. That`s just my opinion though :)
 
petrified eyes

petrified eyes

Well-known member
coyote said:
it seems they all want to be friends on Facebook now
Click to expand...

"Hmmm. That [series of nasty names] that picked on me and beat me up in middle school sent me a friend request. Aawwww. Perhaps he's asking for forgiveness."

<Clicks Ignore>

Some things I forgive. Terrorizing me in front of the entire class for 3 years straight is not one of them. They can rot in hell for all I care. :mad:

EDIT: This thread gave me one nasty flashback. SocialPhobiaWorld.com - View Single Post - How are you feeling?
 
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BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Nope! Definitely not!
I somehow have a problem with the idea of forgiving the people who ruined my life through sustained bullying.:mad:
buts thats just me....
 
dottie

dottie

Well-known member
unless they show sincere evidence of enlightenment (which i doubt would ever be the case)... NO. they are still the same a-hole, just more fine lines.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
I wouldn't forgive them, but I would move on with my life. I wouldn't attack them, or even verbally strain them. But I would definitely feel some resentment for what they did.

I don't know, I've never been one to be able to undo hate towards someone once it's set. They'd have to do something so massively huge to compensate for their acts, that it's probably most accurately described as impossible. But I must note that it's particularly hard to get on my hate-list, you must have taunted and mentally tortured me for years on end to get on that one.

I wouldn't let them know of course, the fact that I can't forgive shouldn't keep others from bettering their life's.
 
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Silvox Black

Well-known member
I would only forgive them if they have shown me they've warranted such treatment. If they are still as ignorant and bigoted as they were when they harmed me, then they would taste my wrath. If they show that they have changed and are truly apologetic and ashamed over what they did, I would forgive them.
 
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sevenroses

Well-known member
I probably would forgive them but not want to get even close to them. I still avoids social gatherings like if an ex bully attends because I feel so vulnerable. I`m very picky on which family gatherings too attend because I`m really concerned who`s going to attend or not.
 
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sevenroses

Well-known member
I can totally understand how hard it is to not forgive and forget, sometimes you just re-live the who experience just thinking about them and you get these flashbacks.
 
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fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
yeah even old friends who turned into bullies, I don't want to talk to them anymore. I don't need any abusive people in my life.
 
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sevenroses

Well-known member
I totally understand. They don`t really have to do anything bad to you to make you feel bad, it`s just the sight of them that triggers all those bad memories. So sometimes it`s best just to avoid them even if they are nice.
 
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moni10

Well-known member
petrified eyes said:
"Hmmm. That [series of nasty names] that picked on me and beat me up in middle school sent me a friend request. Aawwww. Perhaps he's asking for forgiveness."

<Clicks Ignore>

Some things I forgive. Terrorizing me in front of the entire class for 3 years straight is not one of them. They can rot in hell for all I care. :mad:

EDIT: This thread gave me one nasty flashback. SocialPhobiaWorld.com - View Single Post - How are you feeling?
Click to expand...

I couldn't have expressed my feelings more clearly than you've just done in your post.All I want to do now is to print your post in millions of copies and spread them everywhere.
 
Sinar_Matahari

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
Why should I forgive when they enjoyed every minute of making my life miserable?
I believe in forgiveness, but I also believe that it should not be wasted. Some of those people don't even think they did anything that would require forgiveness so what is the point? I saw one of the main bullies a while back. I was walking into the supermarket and she was walking out. She looked at me the exact same way she used to look at me on the yard. She's still a bitch, still jealous and still thinks it's my fault. lol
 
Neptunus

Neptunus

Active member
Depends on how they turned out as human beings.

If they contacted me asking for forgiveness, then yes.
 
fife_girl

fife_girl

Well-known member
i forgive everyone, its not worth my energy. i wouldnt be friends with somebody who was nasty tho.
people make mistakes and those few wo did bully me i only hope have changed and become nicer people :)
 
LadyWench

LadyWench

Well-known member
Well, I haven't experienced running into them and them actually being nice. I've seen them at the stores and stuff, and they still give me dirty looks (most of them are female, by the way) and act b*tchy. STILL. After all these years. It's pretty pathetic on their part. So, it's hard for me to say that I would be forgiving if they were nice to me now.

Also, I'm the type of person that holds a grudge. I NEVER forget, and forgiving is difficult for me. My boyfriend works in fast food and works with many people we went to school with that used to give us a really hard time. He'll tell me that this person and that person has changed, and they're no longer douche bags. As nice and true as that may be, it's hard for me to see them any differently. I knew them as assh*les, and that's all I know them as. If they were mean and awful to me before, I really don't have any interest in forgiving. Yeah, it's immature and I need to learn how to just let go and get over it. Blah blah blah. Most humans piss me off, anyway.
 
Waybuloo

Waybuloo

Well-known member
If the bullies still hold some superiority complex years later, and still behave in a way along the same vein as before, then sod them and I feel sorry for these people. The choice they make in making others miserable is a role they play in their own lives, and you only let that affect yours if you choose to. Just ignore those people. If however they repent and see the error of their ways, yes forgiveness is in the cards. Should they chooes to skim over what happened and pretend it was nothing or not even show acknowledgement then keep them at a distance.

If the bullies are the ones still deriving enjoyment out of tormenting others, I wonder what they must feel on their death bed.
 
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Rembrandt Broam

Well-known member
Well I've never really had to deal with bullies, but if I had then no, I don't think I'd forgive them. I'd forgive someone who hurt me unintentionally, but if someone wrongs me out of pure spite or malice, then I'm not the kind of person who's going to let that pass.
 
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