Would you forgive bullies years later

[Ignace]

No way. No forgiving, no forgetting. Depends on the grade of the bullying, but if it was serious, f*ck them.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Why should I when they enjoyed every second of making my life difficult? No, they wouldn't appreciate forgiveness. I believe in forgiveness, but I don't believe in wasting it on someone who does not think they've done any wrong in the first place.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

it seems they all want to be friends on Facebook now

My husband has had former bullies sending him friend requests on FB. He doesn't accept them. I find it irritating that some former bullies have that "shouldn't you be over it by now" mentality.

 

[Danfalc]

I never really got bullied as I was taught to always stand up for myself.I was alienated and laughed at from other kids though because of.. my poverty I guess would be the right word.

I would forgive people if they were sorry,I think it's important to try and leave thing's in the past,we were different people then and we owe it to ourselves to move on.Though you can;t forgive someone if they refuse to believe they did anything wrong.

 

[dottie]

Why should I when they enjoyed every second of making my life difficult? No, they wouldn't appreciate forgiveness. I believe in forgiveness, but I don't believe in wasting it on someone who does not think they've done any wrong in the first place.

exactly!!!

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Well, I haven't experienced running into them and them actually being nice. I've seen them at the stores and stuff, and they still give me dirty looks (most of them are female, by the way) and act b*tchy. STILL. After all these years. It's pretty pathetic on their part. So, it's hard for me to say that I would be forgiving if they were nice to me now.

Yeah. This is true for me as well. Two of the girls who used to give me the most crap are still bitches. Still envious and still think it's my fault. Not too long ago, I saw one of them while I was walking into the supermarket. She was walking out as she saw me and gave me this hateful look. If I could get away with it, I'd gladly tear her eyes out.

Also, I'm the type of person that holds a grudge. I NEVER forget, and forgiving is difficult for me. My boyfriend works in fast food and works with many people we went to school with that used to give us a really hard time. He'll tell me that this person and that person has changed, and they're no longer douche bags. As nice and true as that may be, it's hard for me to see them any differently. I knew them as assh*les, and that's all I know them as. If they were mean and awful to me before, I really don't have any interest in forgiving. Yeah, it's immature and I need to learn how to just let go and get over it. Blah blah blah. Most humans piss me off, anyway.

I can relate to this. I don't think you're immature for not being interested in forgiving the people who tormented you in school. Maybe you're simply not ready for it. Forgiveness cannot be forced. Also, it's not like you owe these people anything.

There was a girl in school who used to bad mouth me to others, and now she's a good friend of mine. We never spoke about it, and although what she did wasn't right, she wasn't the only one to talk **** and and she certainly
wasn't the worst person out there. I actually still held a grudge against her some years ago, but I found that it's a lot easier being friends with someone than being enemies with them. I hesitate with other people, though. Not everyone changes and there are definitely people whom I do not wish to be friends with.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Life is short, forgiveness and gratefulness = important if you want to enjoy life to the fullest

 

[KiaKaha]

Nope, not me. I share the sentiments with what others have said. I did not deserve what was inflicted on me all throughout high school, so why should I forgive? I never made other peoples lives hell, so why was it done to me? No, I dont believe in forgiveness to those who make others suffer.

 

[Kiwong]

No, I might try to get compensation off them for contributing to my mental illness. Other than that they can all go and fry in hell.

 

[moni10]

Yes, I would definitely forgive them only after I've seen their names on a grave stone (not kidding).

 

[userremoved]

I don't like the word forgiveness. It has the word give in it which makes me feel like they're taking something else from me.

 

[Honda]

I can forget about them and live my life... Otherwise, if not strong enough to face them; then im not strong enough to forgive them...

 

[sanitariumcalls]

it seems they all want to be friends on Facebook now

Yeah it does... I had several find me just to add me, apologize for the crap they put me through, and then most of them wanted nothing to do with me after that...

Whatever lol I got an apology

 

[Social_Monstrosity]

No, I doubt I'd have ANYTHING in common with them anyway.

 

[anxiousnut]

I could never really "forgive and forget" the cruel comments that scarred me for life and continue to make me feel like ****. It's just not realistic in my case and it's not in my nature. Sadly, most of the people who hurt me probably never thought anything of it and probably don't even remember. I kind of believe in taking note of how people treat you and "holding a grudge" against them to some extent. There are too many nice people in the world to give toxic *******s, who don't care about you, thoughts of forgiveness.

 

[Quiet Angel]

I feel threatened by them if they're on facebook or if I happen to see them in public. Of course, the harassment stops, but the silence & distance pursues. I have mixed feelings. If they don't hate me anymore, they're okay in my book. Forgiveness is the only way to move on, unfortunately. I really don't know.

 

[Lost Girl]

The biggest bully in my life is my dad. Have I forgiven him? No. But the reason for that is that not only did he bully me, he bullied the three children he had before me, and the two children after. Three marriages in total with three sets of children, and he treated every single one of us just as poorly. The fact that he didn't and hasn't tried hard enough to change his ways despite him obviously having a problem is what I cannot forgive. The fact that he would rather dwell in his ignorance and rather than face what he has done to all of us and apologize, instead would rather lie to himself that we are all horrible children who never call or see him, is why I just don't even care anymore.

Ahem, back on topic though, I don't think anyone should forgive bullies from the past unless it presents some sort of healing for yourself. You are the victim here, I don't believe you should forgive anyone unless you truly, with every part of you feel they have redeemed themselves. So often people only seek forgiveness for selfish reasons - to ease their guilty conscience, and f#$@^ giving them that if they don't deserve it .

 

[Scira]

No, I feel like all the bullying is part of the reason why I have a social anxiety. Maybe when I can live a normal life I can forgive people who have wronged me, but I know I will never forget.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Nope. They knew right well what they were doing when they tormented me. I know it sounds terrible, but I'd rather get revenge than forgive them. They don't deserve forgiveness.

It doesn't sound terrible to me. Not one bit. As a matter of fact, there are plenty of black magick spells online that you could look up. :: I used to be into that kind of stuff...

 

[Jake123]

Some girl in middle school who used to abuse me sent me a friend request lol I accepted