Your parents

[fitftw]

What do they think of you and your SA? Do they try to support you? Do they make it worse?

My mom absolutely hates me. She thinks I'm a loser. She always brings up the fact that when she was my age, she was already married and had a child. She wants me to find a Jewish girl. Just to spite her, my ex girlfriend has Muslim parents (my ex herself did not care for religion but she is Egyptian). Really my mom just hates me and calls me lazy all the time and yells at me for stupid stuff like not wiping down the shower after I use it, even if I did. She just always finds something to talk negatively to me. Never heard her say anything positive to me about ANYTHING. Not grades, not my honorable discharge from 4 years in the Navy, NOTHING. My dad is cooler, though he seems disconnected because he works all the damn time. He doesn't see me all day like my mom does. I really think she makes my SA worse. I really don't want to say this but she's the main reason I don't think I want to get married ever. If you were me and had her for a mother, you might feel the same way.

 

[LookingForward]

Nobody knows, couldn't tell anyone... too embarrasing

 

[EasySkanking]

Dude, move out!

My relationship with my mom was like that too.... and it really does make your depression/anxiety worse... so I would say get the hell out of there. No reason to put up with anything that keeps reinforcing your social anxiety - unless you got no other choice :/

After I moved out, my relationship with my mother improved... She doesn't know I have SA, but shes willing to be more understanding now towards my "weirdness". I don't have a father... so can't say much about that.

 

[fitftw]

finding the right place to move out to is hard. I can't afford a 1 bedroom apartment, so I have to live in a house with roommates and share a bathroom and stuff. That sucks. A 1 bed apartment in NJ costs $1,000+ with utilities. F that.

 

[EasySkanking]

Well, you choose - living with roommates that could perhaps help with your social anxiety or living with mom

There's always a way...

 

[Richey]

finding the right place to move out to is hard. I can't afford a 1 bedroom apartment, so I have to live in a house with roommates and share a bathroom and stuff. That sucks. A 1 bed apartment in NJ costs $1,000+ with utilities. F that.

is that per month?

with a full time job and a tight budget its possible to pull that off though even on a crappy wage ..

you may need a second casual job to save money though ..

maybe a 2-bedroom flat with a friend so you can split the rent in half ..or in a 1 bedroom flat if there is a cornice a person could sleep near a cornice. not sure.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Well, you choose - living with roommates that could perhaps help with your social anxiety or living with mom

There's always a way...

Agreed. There's always a way.

Although i'm a hypocrite in that case, I'm too cheap to move out. (Then again i'm only 17, I don't think I can legally move out anyways). But maaan... as soon as I'm 18, ship me off to somewhere, anywhere, i'll even go in a cardboard box if I have to!

My mom's a kook. She has a lot of problems. Social anxiety, excessive stress/worry like you can't believe, manipulation, control issues, ritalin abuse paired with severe ADD, mood swings like you can't believe... she's still looking for a mother figure, when I was 13-16 she came to me as one would come to a mother for advice... So I am motherless in a sense, the sense that she has no idea how to be a parent. I mentioned this in the family post already. She is just as negative as yours sounds, fitftw. Sigh. It's hard to be happy in a place full of shouting and insults, I wear earplugs throughout the day. You should try it, it's worth the eventual ear pain ::

Dad lives down south somewhere, never really got to know him.

 

[EasySkanking]

Sucks... Escape artist ::

I can be your mom if you'd like?

 

[EscapeArtist]

^ hmm.. deal!
Now.. hermaphrodite mommy, make me dinner?

 

[EasySkanking]

Lol! I didn't think you'd actually agree, but allright, I think we can work something out

How's sausage and eggs?

 

[agoraphobickatie]

i hate that your mom is like that =/ i feel you on the apartment thing... even if i did get a job, i damn sure wouldn't be able to pay rent on top of my $272 car payment and $289 car insurance... and i'm not even about having roommates, that sh!t is for the birds, ha!

i'm lucky as hell with my parents. they're both really supportive. my mom has an easier time understanding what exactly i'm going through because she has panic attacks, too... my mom just moved about 4 hours away though =/ which sucks, but i still talk to her often and will see her every few months or so.. i live with my dad, and he gets that GAD/agoraphobia is really difficult for me, he does whatever he can to help, so that's good... but we butt heads sometimes. we're just really different. he can really piss me off sometimes, ha.. anyway, i'm good at dealing with it, so i have to say i lucked out in the family department.

and anyway, one day you'll find someone who isn't like your jerk mom at all, haha.. sounds like she just has her own negativity issues. negative nancy or something. you have to learn that you can't be responsible for everyones feelings/emotions... easiest thing to do is say 'fukk it' and eventually it becomes easier to shut out as long as you can occupy yourself with your own business

 

[Mr.Moon]

My parents have never supported me in anything. My Father thinks I'm useless and my Mother always has her nose in a book more important then listening to me. Nowadays their more preoccupied with some computer game they play.

 

[mads]

My mother has always been a strong person and my father the weak one, so they got divorced after being married for about 6-7 years. I lived with my father and maybe it did not help me when he was weak, but that is not important because I dont want to blame anyone in why I got SA, life is simply for me at least, to short to blame others, and I am just happy that it is gone now

 

[IamThisOne]

My father does not know that I have SP, he just thinks I don't like people. He tells people I am of few words. I hate that because I do like people. He has this picture in his mind of me that is totally based on assumption. He thinks he knows everything about me, but he actually knows very little. I think he is a main cause that I have SP.

I can't say much for my mother because I haven't seen her in nine years.

 

[guessed]

My parents were good providers but emotionally unavailable. I think my difficulties trusting and connecting with people stem from that.

They could also be very judgemental and emotionally abusive at times.

 

[EasySkanking]

My mother has always been a strong person and my father the weak one, so they got divorced after being married for about 6-7 years. I lived with my father and maybe it did not help me when he was weak, but that is not important because I dont want to blame anyone in why I got SA, life is simply for me at least, to short to blame others, and I am just happy that it is gone now

Your SA is gone? Mind telling me how?

Pleaaaaseeee... ::

 

[Silvox Black]

My father passed on when I was young. I never quite developed a bond of any sort with him, so my feelings towards him are somewhat ambiguous.

My mother is someone I've come to hate. She comes from an Asian background where academia and hard work are the only values. Where love is expressed by providing for your child's future and college and whatnot. There is no emotional understanding whatsoever. Depression and social anxiety is a completely foreign concept. Mention any such disorders or problems and she would say that there is something wrong with you. She would say you do not get out enough, do not socialize enough. If you were to respond with how society is wrong and the majority of people are ignorant, her response would be either complete confusion, denial, or words of an unrelated topic.

For all of these traits, I do not fault her. I do not hate her for any of the traits I listed. For if I were to hate her, I would be a bigoted hypocrite myself. I do not blame her for ideals her culture and upbringing instilled in her. No, I hate her for the fact she does not try to understand. She makes no effort to change her thinking. She believes she is right and the world is wrong. If she were to make an honest attempt to try and be open minded, then perhaps I would learn to tolerate her. Yet she does nothing but remain in her bigoted thought pattern. For this, I hate her and all she has done to me.

 

[fitftw]

I just realized how much of a jerk I am for making this thread title. That's insensitive to people without parents. I hope none of you hate me for that.

 

[Kiwong]

My parents were GREAT people the BEST. They are really the only people I have ever trusted in the whole world. Always supportive, gave me a home I loved.

My mother was a shy person, and sometimes I wonder if the shared some of the same anxiety issues as me? Of course she died of breast cancer in 1987, so I will never know.

Dad passed away in May this year. My anxiety became very bad after I lost my dad

 

[Ignace]

My parents were GREAT people the BEST. They are really the only people I have ever trusted in the whole world. Always supportive, gave me a home I loved.

My mother was a shy person, and sometimes I wonder if the shared some of the same anxiety issues as me? Of course she died of breast cancer in 1987, so I will never know.

Dad passed away in May this year. My anxiety became very bad after I lost my dad

I'm sorry for you.:: May is just recently.::