Your 2011 in review

da_illest101

Well-known member
How was your 2011?

For me it was the worse year in my life here is the good and bad part

good: I'm alive, everybody that I know is alive as well

bad part:

towards the end of 2010 my friendship with one of my best friend was going downhill and somewhere in 2011 it ended not in the way I would have like it to end, but it did. I was wondering why it even happen in the first place. Now I do get it and it sure as hell didn't make things any easier to take.

The rest of the year everything felt boring as my depression keep getting worse and worse. I hated my job since day one ( 4 years ago) and I'm still working there till this day. I hate the work even if I barely getting any hours. Financially i'm not surviving, yet i'm not even taking other people's shift when they ask me too.

At school I was seperated from my friends for 4 classes out of 6, it was really boring and I felt like an outcast with the group I was in. This what the third semester in the program and I haven't met pretty much anyone of the group I was in. So I just spent most of the time alone pretending everything was fine. Even though my schedule for next semester sucks I'm with my friends. I also found out that my ultimate crush ( as my friends love to call her) has a bf, it felt like someone stab multiple times to the heart.

In the summer I had intercourse for the first time which freaked the crap out of me. To make matter worse, like an idiot, I didn't use any protection even if the girl was on the pill. It's been 5 months since and even though she told me she is 1000% sure that she is not pregnant, until it reach 10 to 11 months I won't be able to stop stressing about it. I'm freaking out to the very sight of anything baby related and reading the stories about people having no sign that they were pregnant before giving birth sure didn't help me one bit.

also in the summer I injured my neck bad enough that it makes the whole right side of my body numb. When I say the whole right side I really mean every single part of my body that is on the right side with no exception. It is the most annoying feeling ever. At least I still appear like i'm 100% even though i'm not. I can still do normal task, but can't stand up for long periods of time. I did x rays and MRI for it and will begin oestheopathy therapy for it tomorrow.

I'm not the type of person who thinks that things get magically better with the new upcoming year nor do I believe in the whole new year resolution thing either. The calendar may end, but life continues the same way it did. I do hope things get better.

So how was yours? hopefully better than mine
 

Etbow23

Well-known member
In some respects it was similar in degree of crappiness to yours...but sadly I think I've gotten used to the general crappiness and it doesn't really bother me anymore.

But I will say there were a couple good times I had that I will always remember from this past year. I'm happy for that.

I think you're safe in terms of the baby thing..but seriously you got to use a condom next time, with all the bugs floating around nowadays. It's disturbing. And pregnancy of course. But she was on the pill so you're probably okay in that regard.
 
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Same with me man. The worst thing that happened to me was my friendship with my best friend ended. The rest of the year was ****ty, but it doesn't get worse than that.
 
The first 6 months were ok or better. I was happy. Then my girlfriend broke up with me. Then I was depressed for months after.

On a brighter note, I did see Pearl Jam live for the first time in September.

That's pretty much what I accomplished this year.
 

Mike135

Member
Lost all my friends this year, had depression for some months, but also spent more time outside comparing with previous years which is worthy for me, noticed some small improvements in controlling anxiety, and hope 2012 will be a very good year, I’m sure of that, finally will meet my girlfriend whom I have an online relation since the last months of 2008.


Hope 2012 will be a great year for everyone here on SPW too and be possible for
everyone to do on 2012 what wished to do in 2011 but just didn’t had the chance. :)
 

Moa

Well-known member
The good:

Started a new job that I really like. It's been really stressful but the future is quite promising. I'm learning so much.
Started bird watching as a hobby. It's been relaxing and fun and I've learned a lot.
I became an aunt.

The bad:

While I do love my job, it's incredibly stressful and I've had many sleepless nights because of it.
Had a huge fight with my parents in August. My father still won't speak to me.
My anxiety got really bad from all the stress of work and fighting with my family, and I stopped talking to a few acquaintances I had made. I hope they'll still speak to me when I'm ready.
 

Silatuyok

Well-known member
The first half of the year was rough, what with emergency wisdom tooth extractions, a car wreck, bronchitis (while I was recovering from surgery). <<Actually, all three of those happened in the same week, so that was probably the worst week, lol.
I was also doing kind of a crappy internship at the zoo, which was kinda neat but overall a gigantic waste of time. I had a really rough time with deciding whether or not to stay in school, and finding some direction in life once I decided to quit. On top of that I had the stress of my boyfriend seriously considering joining the Navy because he didn't like his job. None of those sound very bad on paper, but they were all stressful for me, some more than others.

The second half of the year has been great, one of the reasons being that I found this forum and finally came to terms with the fact that I actually do have social anxiety and was able to start accepting that part of myself. The support I found here has made parts of my life much more bearable, so thank you all.

I'm looking forward to seeing what good and bad things the new year has in store for me.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Now that I'm thinking about it, 2011 completely kinda sucked for me. It was a really tough year, but I also had my fair share of accomplishments, so that's good I guess. Here's hoping to a much better 2012.
 

this_portrait

Well-known member
I don't want to say that 2011 was all terrible, because it didn't start out that way, and I wasn't expecting it to take a turn for the worse.

The year was fine, with some ups and downs, until summer rolled around. Then a break-up happened and I was messed up for months. It's been a slow process of healing, but I'm almost there. I would definitely agree that the first half of it was all right, but during the second half, everything took a major dive. My semester sucked. My grades were the worst (barely managed to maintain ones in the B range). I was depressed and anxious. I had no motivation. All I wanted to do was drown in my own misery.

Hopefully the new year will be better for me.
 

MrJones

Well-known member
This has been the most awful year of my life. I've never felt so depressed before.
Funny thing is that nothing really happened.

I started to see life differently.
I realized what I really want from life, and that it's not what I was looking for.
I realized what change I want in my life and how to get it.

And it all made me more depressed.

I started to realize who I am.
I started to realize what life is.
I've laughed and cried.
I found happiness and sadness.
I've been disappointed.

I wanted to die.
I wanted to live.
And I wanted to die again.

Now I have dreams and nightmares.

I've never cried so much and I still do. I cry until I fall asleep.
I have no energy and I want to stay in bed all day.
I want to die.


On the brightest side:
WeirdyMcGee, blackpuma, Jessica7, Deus_Ex_Lemur, BiWinning, 狼, Bloir, twiggle, *Amy*, anuskas, Amelie08, MikeyC, MaliceInWickedland, Blabla.., Paahi, Phoenixx, TryAgain, DeadmanWalking, MidnightStar, pinata, Absolutely_Sweet_Marie...
And all the other friends I made here (and I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, but you know who you are).



And now I know what I want.
 
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Nathália

Well-known member
I have had worse years despite what I went through this year.

It started out amazingly. I had a car, went to school, went to the doctors, talked to a few people. Then it all went away at the blink of an eye.

I am not that sad about it. I have an excellent mother and she has made me see the bright side of the world.
 

Kiwong

Well-known member
Definately better than 2010 the year in which my father died, and I really hit rock bottom with my anxiety in July of that year.

The year started poorly with a back injury, which stopped me running for thirty days. I was also feeling quite depressed and concerned about my work situation. I finished a report that was highly praised.

Things improved over the year, and I eventually got over my back injuries, and built up my training again. I saw a therapist and my anxiety improved with changes to diet and learning mindfullness and relaxation techniques.

I didn't start running well until about September. The last two months have been great and I've has some really enjoyable running experiences. Work remains a source a of uncertainty and unhappiness at times, I continue to struggle to deal with the way some people have responded negatively to my anxiety, and I have had some really worrying times at local races.

I think I am in a much better state of mind than I was this time last year, with plenty to look forward to. There are also some daunting timelines for the completion of projects at work and I hope I can work hard and contribute to their successful completion.
 

Bo592

Well-known member
My year 2011 was not so good because that where I moved to a bad home with a bad landlord. My best years left me along time ago. My best years was when partents was still alive. My Mother was the ownly one in my family who took the time to understand what social phobia was my dad was smart and crafty he could fix anything. those two people brought hope into the world for me. But on the day they died was when I learn that I was on my own I remember watching my rest my family who manage to find a family of there own and a soul mate and feeling left out because all of them had someone to comfort them but me. I just stud in the corner because these were my family but I did not even really know who any of these people where. That how I learn what social phobia took from me. What I feel social phobia is a thing that take are chances to succeed away from us becuse it interfere with are ability to communicate which is what make the world go around. My mom was the ownly one I trusted to talk too now all I do is write notes to myself. I try to think if there going to be anyone else in my life but I can`t see how there going to be with my condition. Even though my mom pass away all I thank about is what I can do to make her proud of me.
 

JCVA

Well-known member
It was not a good year for me.

Good times:

-Got a few more hours for work. I use to only work on the weekends but they gave me some weekday hours
-Finally joined the art group I have been meaning to join. It took me 3 months to have enough courage to join.

The Bad:

-Broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year. Trust issues =/
-Couldn't get a full time job
-Gained back the weight and stopped going to the gym
 

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
There have been ups and downs, but overall it has been a crappy year (unemployed...don't know what to do with my life.) Though my OCD has improved greatly, and I haven't had any compulsions for six months (yay!!)

Joining this forum has been one of the positives. It made me aware of my social anxiety, and now I am working towards overcoming it. Much of the despair I have felt this year has been the result of loneliness, as well as having no direction.

So the year started sour...but the last couple of months have been better. There has been an improvement.
 
The good:

- I started seeing an awesome therapist regularly.
- I've been much more social with both my family and my friends.
- I had 2 job interviews and applied to many more.
- I've started walking more, particularly recently.
- I read. A lot.
- I found this website and have made so many great friends.
- My artsy side is starting to come back.

The bad:

- My kitten died.
- My best friend moved to WY.
- My depression was worse than ever this year, so much so that, a lot of the time, I didn't want to get out of bed.
- I never did get a job. I've been unemployed for 14 months and counting.

The ugly:

- That god damned NYE tornado. Technically it occurred last year, but the cleanup took place this year and it was a bitch.
- I gained weight and now weight more than I ever have.
- I still have people in my life that don't understand my illness and use it as an excuse to show how unstable and unreliable I am, which I really don't appreciate.
- I get so very easily bored and have spent much of this year on the computer.

Overall, it had its good moments, but 2011 is not going down as my best year. I'm hoping to keep riding my current wave of improvement and continue to get better.
 
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nosferatu

Well-known member
The good:
-I have one (online) friend. Although, sometimes I ponder why he talks to me. He's such an astute and smart guy, why befriend a sullen idiot like me?

The bad:
-Severe depression.
-lost the desire to see how the future unfolds.
-lost immeasurable amounts of hope.
-I find it very hard to rile up enough motivation to do anything.
-I feel like crying but I don't know how.
-I'm homely.
-Lost 3 friends (1 real life; 2 online) that I miss terribly (seeing what a shut-in I've become it's hard to believe I even had 3 friends to lose).

Other:
-I want to die.
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Always remember that the choices we make in actions and feelings are to show ourselves love and comfort... No matter if it benefits us in the long or short term, you are always trying for yourself and that is always a success, no matter how background it may feel. There are uncomfortable situations and downright disappointing outcomes to things, and while they provoke negative emotions and might make things more challenging, they give us more opportunity than when things are easy.


2011 was actually not that bad, I did some new things! I got my first job, and it was an extremely physical job (8 hours of weeding weeds that are up to your belly button?!). That was a great achievement, especially to know that I could handle and adapt to such a physical job! I remember the first day was HELL and eventually it became less difficult.

I also broke one of my big idealizations about life, I really idealized that job and saw it as something way above me, perfect and not worth me. When I went there, I hid my flaws and put on a face, and then it so happens that my boss left out of "anxiety and stress", and had the same interests as me. Turns out there is no perfect after all, which means there is no better than I. Got a little grip on that one, not complete understanding yet

I made a friend, and by doing absolutely nothing and saying absolutely nothing when I put myself out there. It turns out that people who are like you will be attracted to you no matter how much you say, you just have to be there.

UHhhmmm. I also discovered a lot more of the negative consequences that come with choosing the easy way out, so much that I am starting to tire of them which will mean that I can re-commit to getting out and choosing the hard, fulfilling path.
 

Flowers-Of-Bloom

Well-known member
The good:

-I went back to school
-I made 3 new 'friends'
-Straight A student
-Got 2 new kittens

The bad:

-Left school half way through the year
-Lost 3 new 'friends'
-Lost the mother cat
-Was stressed/tired a lot of the time
-Still not motivated to do the things I want to do (art, music)
-Still anxious/awkward/paranoid around people
-Still can't form proper relationships with others
-Made little to no progress in terms of fighting my mental illnesses
-Don't know what I'm going to do now and I have barely any hope for the future

So this year was one step forward, two steps back.
 
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