Would you ever forgive your bully or bullies?

Canis lupus

Canis lupus

Well-known member
Never allthough maybe I should. I'm full of hate. I spend my days hating practically everything that is human. I hate my so-called friends from my teenyears that took away my selfconfidence and made me afraid of my own kind, I hate my family for always taking me for an idiot even on things that matters most to me but most of all I hate the biggest bully of them all: society. You have to do this but you can't do that, you have to think like this but can't think like that, you have to live your life exactly like we want you to and if you don't we'll force you into it by all kind of laws. And what I hate most about humanity is that they think they are the only one that matters. They have absolutly no respect for nature or the other animal species and have no respect for people who do care. If I would find a magic lamp and got 3 wishes I only need one, wipe out humanity, the biggest bully on this planet.
 
sullyS25

sullyS25

Well-known member
Canis lupus said:
Never allthough maybe I should. I'm full of hate. I spend my days hating practically everything that is human. I hate my so-called friends from my teenyears that took away my selfconfidence and made me afraid of my own kind, I hate my family for always taking me for an idiot even on things that matters most to me but most of all I hate the biggest bully of them all: society. You have to do this but you can't do that, you have to think like this but can't think like that, you have to live your life exactly like we want you to and if you don't we'll force you into it by all kind of laws. And what I hate most about humanity is that they think they are the only one that matters. They have absolutly no respect for nature or the other animal species and have no respect for people who do care. If I would find a magic lamp and got 3 wishes I only need one, wipe out humanity, the biggest bully on this planet.
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Maybe you view the outside world like you view yourself and you project it onto them so you can be the helpless victim.....This wouldn't be a conscious decision of course but I wouldn't be surprised if your opinion about everyone else mirrors how you feel about yourself. That is how I was when I felt the same as you.....

Sorry you are so angry but all I can say is it won't change anything to take the anger out on other people. Why dont you try finding what you dont like about yourself and work on that instead of blaming other people. Unless of course you are unconsciously attracted to these feelings and derive your sense of identity through how much you hate everyone else and how you are treated so badly.
 
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Etbow23

Well-known member
I wouldn't forgive them. The first bully in my life was my ex stepfather, who paved the road for the other bullies who followed. I wouldn't forgive any of them. Now it will be a life long process for me to re-become who I was meant to be. They've made my life much more difficult. Even though they might be gone for the most part, I struggle everyday with lack of confidence, anxiety, depression, low self esteem that get in the way of who I was supposed to be.
 
Canis lupus

Canis lupus

Well-known member
sullyS25 said:
Maybe you view the outside world like you view yourself and you project it onto them so you can be the helpless victim.....This wouldn't be a conscious decision of course but I wouldn't be surprised if your opinion about everyone else mirrors how you feel about yourself. That is how I was when I felt the same as you.....

Sorry you are so angry but all I can say is it won't change anything to take the anger out on other people. Why dont you try finding what you dont like about yourself and work on that instead of blaming other people.
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I don't think it's because I'm angry with myself. I hate my life but not so much myself. My biggest problem is that I care more about nature and the other animal species than humanity or myself and therefor see humanity as a plague that is destroying everything. Next to that I like to smoke, I like driving too fast, want to do something about the human overpopulation and so on. I'm just tired of always having to sacrifice the things I find most important for what the rest find most important without ever getting something in return.

I know it's definitly not changing anything except for ruining my life but I lost control over it a long time ago. I try to fight it but with no succes. Even my psychologist don't know where to begin. Probably just need a few good things in my life but wouldn't know what.
Also I think too much black and white. Have it really hard seeing grey which doesn't help ofcourse.

Unless of course you are unconsciously attracted to these feelings and derive your sense of identity through how much you hate everyone else and how you are treated so badly.
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That's probably true. Don't have much else than my anger and it gives me strength to stand up for myself. If I'm not angry I'm scared or depressed.

Anyway, thx for the reply.
 
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dyingtolive

Well-known member
if i am forced to communicate with them, i can be civil. even sincere and warm.
but when i am feeling bad, i will hate him/them and blame him/them

i realize, that having had a history of abuse has made me have the habit of blaming people.
When i feel down, bad, i feel angry, and i feel angry towards those people who i can blame.

I am not as much angry at myself... as others in this forum or elsewhere are.
I feel like a monster sometimes, but i feel like it is not my fault. Kind of like Frankenstein's monster..

I just do not think about them, the bullies, the abusers. The past is the past. I have forgiven. I have meditated in silence offering only love to my abusers. But the feeling returns. The hate returns when hate returns in me.

I think it is a life long act. Forgiveness is a life long act. We have to forgive every day. Everyone. It is a way of life. If we stop doing it, it will come back. Hate will come back if we dont practice forgiveness.

There is a saying 'Forgiveness is the practice of love for those who do not love'
Something like that.

I wish all of you all the best in dealing with forgiveness and moving on with your lives and coping, those who have dealt with bullying and abuse.
 
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jc972

1
No, I would not. I can't turn the other cheek, I don't forgive, and I absolutely do not forget. There are times when I don't feel like a confrontation and there are times when I go looking for them so I can get even, not so much any more though. But I do feel that revenge is a meal best served cold...
 
Gidi

Gidi

Well-known member
Yes I forgave them, Its not good to hold grudges even for people that don't deserve your forgiveness
 
Duzmiu

Duzmiu

Well-known member
ild like to be able to forgive them all but they will never learn that way and they could end up bullying someone else worse then what they did to me
 
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NeonDream

Member
No because I have the exact same reasons as you! Every year I would get bullied but it stopped last year when finally for once in my life I win and justice is served! The bullies were like the army and they had the main bully who was the chief who would make stuff about me being evil, satanic and other ridiculousness ...:mad:

I ended up hurting myself and avoiding people because of bullies. I don't even work in project groups anymore unless if the teacher imposes it and I have to find a way to make myself invisible! I apologize now for every little thing I do because of them! I can never live a normal life now because of them! I swear I will never forgive them! How could they be so heartless when all I did was spend my life just sitting down and trying my best to work in class? I have never done anything wrong to them or gossiped! They sicken me! I tried to be nice to them but respect is not returned! It is a lie.
 
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itisgoingtobefine

Well-known member
I don't know if I have forgiven them or not. I try to put things behind me. If one were to come up to me and strike up a conversation I would hear the person out. If they asked for forgiveness then I would really try. The sad thing is most know what they did and they did it on purpose. It's hard to forgive those kinds of people. If anyone discovers the secret to getting over them, let me know. :)
 
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laure15

Well-known member
I don't want to think about forgiveness. I just don't think it's relevant at this point in life. What's been done is done, I can never change the past. Right now, I want to focus on me, myself. I am trying to get my life back together and never look back at the past.
 
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GhastlyCC

Well-known member
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, you are the one who gets burned."
 
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Sinopia

Sinopia

1
Some of them yes. Some of them no. But I don't think this is that important. The most important thing is to improve yourself, change yourself in some ways, like gaining your self esteem, so ppl won't look down on you and learn to be stronger and to stand up for yourself. You have to move on, otherwise your life will be stuck with the thoughts about the past.
 
Unspoken

Unspoken

Well-known member
I would have to see some major character changes, but then again I wasn't physically attacked. I wouldn't be able to hold it against someone who was already holding against themselves what they did to people in their past and wanting a better future. A couple of them were obviously rotten to the core, though, and aren't included in this.
 
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