Would you ever forgive your bully or bullies?

ChrisN

Active member
#1
I would never forgive any of my bullies for what they done to me and are the reason for my development of avoidance personality disorder, major depression, OCD, and other mental disorders I use or still am suffering from.

In fact I would like to see them rot in prison and I still want payback!

They not only ruin my life but ruin what is most of my college experiences. I lost countless relationship and friendship opportunities in which I can never get back. I also lost the girl of my dream because I felt so undeserving of her because of what I experienced in my past.

I would treat any of my bullies worst than any animal alive.


What about you guys?
 

MikeyC

Well-known member
#2
I would treat any of my bullies worst than any animal alive.
I pondered over this for a moment, thinking that maybe this course of action is no better than what the bullies did to you. There are certainly some people in our lives - past and present - that we would like to see suffer for their actions. Life is unfair and sometimes that doesn't happen. Sounds like you need to deal with their past actions in a more healthy way.
 

9407

Well-known member
#3
Meh, I had a couple of bullies but the only bad one I had was in 10th grade by some girl in my class. She used to make fun of the way I looked a and I skipped that class a few times because it was so bad. As for the question, I would probably not forgive her. After she stopped making fun of me she started picking on some other guy so she probably hasn't changed.
 
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ChrisN

Active member
#5
I pondered over this for a moment, thinking that maybe this course of action is no better than what the bullies did to you. There are certainly some people in our lives - past and present - that we would like to see suffer for their actions. Life is unfair and sometimes that doesn't happen. Sounds like you need to deal with their past actions in a more healthy way.
I got beat up badly and almost die a few times by several bullies in dark back alley.

There are different degree of bullying.

I am not someone you mess with especially when it cost me the girl of my dream. A man weakness is a woman, but you never ever mess with a man woman ever.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
#8
I have forgiven them, it helped me a lot to move on with my life than to be bitter all the time.
 
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ChrisN

Active member
#9
I have forgiven them, it helped me a lot to move on with my life than to be bitter all the time.
I'm not bitter but once in a blue moon I think about it especially since there a bully sub-thread on here. All I know is if I ever see them again, there will be no escape.
 

AGR

Well-known member
#10
Yes,it is good to forgive,because you could become bitter,think about violent stuff and you will act like that toward other people becoming a bully yourself ,but I am bad at it because I am so stubborn,if they repent,which is not always the case I would easily forgive them.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
#11
I'm not bitter but once in a blue moon I think about it especially since there a bully sub-thread on here. All I know is if I ever see them again, there will be no escape.
^I was talking about myself and yeah, I do think those bullies you faced were really awful.
 

Section_31

Well-known member
#12
Theres one about which i AM bitter. Very bitter.

I recognize this is not a good thing, and am still working on coming to terms with it. Its a slow process. But i WANT to heal, im not a hateful person.
 

Kat

Well-known member
#13
Anger and hate isn’t usually something I hold on to for long unless it’s that time of the month. If I had the option to have those memories erased I probably would, I say I have forgiven. A lot of the stuff that happened to me was when I was a teenager, I think that helps me get past it to some degree I’m not sure how forgiving I would be if adults had been the ones. Right now my troubles are with family and where my future is heading.
 
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Iluv

Well-known member
#14
Sometimes I wonder if forgiveness is really necessary. I'm that kind of person that will hold a grudge forever and sometimes it really eats at my core. It's really how I repress the anger, there's some instances where I force myself to forgive because I will do something stupid. As for bullies I still haven't forgave some and every time I see them around something inside me still aggravates me. I am capable of forgiving by eventually forgetting but unless they make effort to meet me half way it's never gonna happen.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
#15
I would and I have. Mainly to set my self free from anger and resentment.Those feelings are poison to me and I must let them go when they crop up. They only hurt me and do me no good, at all. I heard you imply you wanted to get revenge on someone, let me tell you right now that you will not feel any better after you get revenge. It will not relieve you of those feelings that person made you feel and continues to make you feel. You can take that to the bank. That is why I forgive, it is the only way to set me free.
 
#18
I had to. Actively hating people was giving me issues with my gastrointestinal tract. Sounds silly and trite but it is the truth: hatred of other people really only winds up hurting you in the end. That doesn't mean you have to invite them to a steak dinner anytime soon, of course, but spending time and calories to hate them or letting them crawl under your psyche and live there, rent free, only hurts you. It may even exacerbate many of your issues.

I know, sounds like some after school special stuff but I vomited up blood once because I ended up getting so frustrated. In my case it literally was doing harm.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
#19
I had to. Actively hating people was giving me issues with my gastrointestinal tract. Sounds silly and trite but it is the truth: hatred of other people really only winds up hurting you in the end. That doesn't mean you have to invite them to a steak dinner anytime soon, of course, but spending time and calories to hate them or letting them crawl under your psyche and live there, rent free, only hurts you. It may even exacerbate many of your issues.

I know, sounds like some after school special stuff but I vomited up blood once because I ended up getting so frustrated. In my case it literally was doing harm.
Exactly! I have forgiven the people that bullied me because it released me from anger and resentment which are poison to my psyche...Just because I have forgiven them does not mean I condoned there actions
 
#20
Yes, I would forgive them. There´s nothing else I could do about it anyway, it´s just the way it is. I try to accept the fact that the world is full of idiots so chances are high we run into some who ruin our plans and hinder our healthy development. Who knows maybe I have bad karma and my father is taking out on me what I have done to him in past life. I would never revenge on him or treat him badly like he treats me, God said "revenge is mine" so I believe it. And if there is no God, then there is no justice anyway and everything is pointless, then we die and are swalloved by darkness, all good and bad people equally. Nobody profits..
 
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