Why do people like life so much?

[MikeyC]

I do agree that success requires work and action. However, I do suppose that for some people buying a burrito would require some luck. Would they have the money that day or a way to get there? Plus they may be disabled and can only dream of walking into a place and buying a burrito.
Also, the path to buying a burrito is clear. We know the process well and it's pretty simple. The path to success(as defined by western society) is murky, extremely complicated. A lot of it is dependent on vague social interactions and timing.
I have a friend who is extremely successful and he once explained to me the social protocols in the higher levels of the corporate world. Basically a bunch of people playing social mind games.

You're right in that buying a burrito is easier than being successful in life, but it was just a silly example I was trying to convey.

I can imagine that those higher-ups would be playing a lot of mind games to gain any kind of edge over their rivals, even psychological ones. It's not for me, although some people are pretty good at that.

 

[Kiwong]

I am glad I was lucky enough to get a shot at life.

 

[AGR]

I think a lot people here miss out a lot of things in life,like love,friends and Family.

 

[bcsr]

The path to success(as defined by western society) is murky, extremely complicated. A lot of it is dependent on vague social interactions and timing.

Success is relative. Not everyone has the same priorities.
The future is not a gift, it's an achievement. If you work for what you want, you can achieve it. If you do what makes you happy, then you're successful.

 

[Froggy246]

I was listening to a radio show on the ABC today, and it seemed to be relevant to this thread. He talked about how many people are dissatisfied with life because they are chasing the impossible expectations of the Utopia complex. He suggest that the goal of life might be better searching for meaning rather than self esteem. Some children have been taught to expect perfection.

Oh yea I guess it feeds back into that thread In Not My Illness did http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/wanting-too-much-out-of-life-57602/

And there's that quote 'The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.'

I do find it hard not to get suckered into the game though...

 

[S_Spartan]

Success is relative. Not everyone has the same priorities.
The future is not a gift, it's an achievement. If you work for what you want, you can achieve it. If you do what makes you happy, then you're successful.

But society tells us what will make us happy and the vast majority follow the script. What if being a criminal or a drug addict is what makes a person happy? Should they persue those things and consider themselves successful? Society says "no". So we are living within a societal construct that dictates which things should and should not make us happy. Persue the "right" things and with some luck society will reward you, persue the "wrong" things and if you are caught you will be removed from society. I don't want to live in a society filled with criminals but this is another ilustration of our limited free will.

 

[Pacific_Loner]

But society tells us what will make us happy and the vast majority follow the script. What if being a criminal or a drug addict is what makes a person happy? Should they persue those things and consider themselves successful? Society says "no". So we are living within a societal construct that dictates which things should and should not make us happy. Persue the "right" things and with some luck society will reward you, persue the "wrong" things and if you are caught you will be removed from society. I don't want to live in a society filled with criminals but this is another ilustration of our limited free will.

I don't think many grown-up people really wants to be a criminal, those who would are mostly looking for money and power, which are 2 of the main things society associates with success. So they are actually sticking to what society expects from them.

 

[Kiwong]

My soul tells me what makes me happy, not society. Happiness is a very rare state of mind for me, but worth every moment of the battle. There were times when I listened to what society told me would make me happy, or my peers told me how I should live my life, and I finished up miserable pursuing that emptiness.

Right now I want to keep fighting to survive, because I fear slipping back into the darkness of a few years ago. In comparison to that I am in a much better place. The nightmare is never far away and threatens to close in on me again. I may not survive it this time.

 

[Kiwong]

Oh yea I guess it feeds back into that thread In Not My Illness did http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/wanting-too-much-out-of-life-57602/

And there's that quote 'The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it.'

I do find it hard not to get suckered into the game though...

True it relates back to that thread. Or maybe is wanting the wrong things the in life.

 

[Bronson99]

I know successful people who don't have college degrees, and I attribute their success to having an active social life - great for networking and finding jobs. People without higher ed must rely on a large social network to succeed. People without a significant social network rely on higher ed to get a job.

That's exactly my point. I basically said "If you don't have either ability--the higher ed, or social adaptability--you are screwed." That's the boat I find myself in, and I think the OP is probably in that boat, too.

What is left for folks like us?

 

[Kiwong]

To study something mature aged? Learn some abilities.

 

[Rumplestiltskin]

That's exactly my point. I basically said "If you don't have either ability--the higher ed, or social adaptability--you are screwed." That's the boat I find myself in, and I think the OP is probably in that boat, too.

Yep, I am.

To study something mature aged? Learn some abilities.

The thing is, even if you study something at a mature age in a desperate attempt to improve your situation, you'll continue to be discarded for not having any experience at all and for having wasted your life in your twenties.

Besides, I'm not interested in anything. In fact, I'm incapable of understanding how most people choose their careers, how they decide they like Chemical Engineering, or Finance and Accounting, or Pathobiology.

It's all boring.

 

[Feathers]

Only a very small percentage of the population ends up working in some job related to one of their hobbies, a job they truly and actually enjoy. The rest dislike their jobs. They dislike an activity that will take up most of the time in their lives, which will in turn be inevitably mediocre. However, they just don't seem to care. How they don't, I haven't got the slightest idea.

My parents had jobs and didn't expect to get 'happiness' from those jobs, but to some part they did get it - cool coworkers, some sort of social life, something to do away from home... I think the vast majority are somewhat content with their jobs, at least with certain aspects (or paychecks). It doesn't have to be 'all or nothing'.
(Except when they get no or very low paycheck and still needed to work)

I disagree that only higher ed or social connections can 'work' for you - they can help, in the end you still have to show results. Luck is one of the factors, not 'allimportant' either.
You can see very sociable drunks or people with higher ed on the dole, while people with lower ed can get jobs (at least in our country). Depends on the job market and what you're qualified for and what is needed.

In the past, there were more jobs for people with lower or no education - eg in factories or on farms. Now factory jobs are being outsourced to China or Vietnam, Bangladesh or wherever. Globalisation at its finest. Thank the politicians and businesspeople.

There is still possibility of a content life, and life is beautiful even if you aren't 'top success'. Or even if you don't have a job.

I still maintain having a job is a choice, some people choose to become entrepreneurs instead, some people do not work outside of home, eg housewives, some people are rich and don't have to work.... In the 'old days' people worked on farms and didn't have 'jobs'... Before that, hunting and gathering... (While I do not wish to idealize either of these, life was hard in the past too, just wanted to show that 'jobs' are relatively new to human history.)

 

[Rawz]

I still maintain having a job is a choice

I think so too. I there are a lot of choices that you can make. Unless you have a mental or physical disability that makes you dependent on others to stay alive (and there is no chance of it ever changing), or are someones slave and will be killed if you try to escape or something. You have a choice. If you make the choice life may be hell for awhile, or it may be hell forever depending on how smart and hard you work at things, but I think you have a choice.

And believing (maybe very strongly) that you have no choice will not help you any.

 

[Kiwong]

Yep, I am.


The thing is, even if you study something at a mature age in a desperate attempt to improve your situation, you'll continue to be discarded for not having any experience at all and for having wasted your life in your twenties.

Besides, I'm not interested in anything. In fact, I'm incapable of understanding how most people choose their careers, how they decide they like Chemical Engineering, or Finance and Accounting, or Pathobiology.

It's all boring.

Most courses have work experience requirements, so while studying something you also get experience, which helps at the end of the course. You'll also have a qualification that helps in competing for work.

If you aren't interested in anything that is a big problem in finding any enjoyment in life. I find that hard to understand.

I work as a botanist and at times that is really enjoyable and interesting, Really my job is a way of funding the other things in life I enjoy

 

[Froggy246]

The thing is, even if you study something at a mature age in a desperate attempt to improve your situation, you'll continue to be discarded for not having any experience at all and for having wasted your life in your twenties.

I do know examples of people to prove this theory wrong.... but who wants to work for someone else anyway, the key is to figure out a way to make the money you need by working for yourself, that's what I want to do, I just don't know how exactly.

Besides, I'm not interested in anything. In fact, I'm incapable of understanding how most people choose their careers, how they decide they like Chemical Engineering, or Finance and Accounting, or Pathobiology.

It's all boring.

Yea, where there's a will there's a way I'm told, but what if there's no will?

 

[S_Spartan]

Yea, where there's a will there's a way I'm told, but what if there's no will?

Yes, this is exactly what I am struggling with. My will is gone. Of course the buzzword here is Depression but I don't think that is it. I was more depressed back when I DID want things.
This is more like my world view has changed and I see how absolutely meaningless it all is even though everybody runs around acting like what they are doing is the most important thing ever. Somehow I just can't buy into this ego-centric society. I would if I could.
I am not religious but I remember a passage in the Bible that said "if the salt loses it's saltiness, how can it ever be made salty again"?

 

[Bronson99]

I mean it's like, has anyone ever known anyone who just "sucks at everything" to eventually get their life together to the extent that they seem fairly content, doing some things that they have interest in?

I've not known many others like myself who "just plain suck at everything." Maybe it is actually very rare and I'm just very unlucky to be this way.. maybe it is more common than I think, but I don't know about it because most other people with "low/no ability syndrome" nonetheless pretend they're better than they are anyway, because that's how everyone acts anyway...? (But not me, apparently...)

 

[Kiwong]

I mean it's like, has anyone ever known anyone who just "sucks at everything" to eventually get their life together to the extent that they seem fairly content, doing some things that they have interest in?

I've not known many others like myself who "just plain suck at everything." Maybe it is actually very rare and I'm just very unlucky to be this way.. maybe it is more common than I think, but I don't know about it because most other people with "low/no ability syndrome" nonetheless pretend they're better than they are anyway, because that's how everyone acts anyway...? (But not me, apparently...)

You write well, you appear to have above average intelligence. Why do you think you have no ability? I'm sure that isn't true. What do you suck at? What haven't you tried/would like to try?

 

[Bronson99]

I appreciate your optimism, kiwong. And others as well.

But ADD and learning problems and social difficulties makes it extremely hard to know where you should put your effort, and sometimes even when you apply effort (for me at least), the results are mediocre or even nonexistent. Just writing well with a good vocabulary, for example, does not go far if you have a very slow reading rate and poor reading comprehension, and a poor ability to retain things you should remember...

I can remember the kind of sweater someone wore at a holiday gathering five years ago, or the fact that Basquiat used to buy expensive caviar when he had money (why the f**k do I remember pointless crap??)... but I can't do math to save my life. I still don't what the federal reserve is, or does.. I also don't know how to install or remove an air conditioner even though someone showed me about 15 times with me observing. I couldn't give you directions to a place I've been to hundreds of times if it is more than 10 miles away, because I don't retain street signs or spatial information.

These are only a FEW examples of my ineptitude. This is a global problem... it affects everything. I don't even hold my fork the right way, and have trouble folding clothes properly... Just having a good vocabulary and some little bits of artistic inspiration once in a while cannot make up for it.