Why do people believe relationships will make you happy?

[FriendlyShadow]

I know a lot of people on this particular thread will disagree with me but what makes most people believe they'll be happy if they were in a relationship with a boyfriend/girlfriend. In fact, I'm not sure if it really does make others happy but then to just hide their problems/issues they have going on with them. I've tried talking to a few people a bout it and they said that love can heal a lot. I agree slightly, but I think that's very temporal period of time before one of the spouses will get sick and tired of their boyfriend/girlfriend being always dependent on them. I mean, I've never had a relationship before but I don't think I should start a relationship just because it will make me feel better for a temporal period of time. I personally don't thinking having a boyfriend/girlfriend will help fix the other's mood unless the person tries to seek help for it. And in the end, the person with the problems might experience breaking up with the other person, which could lead to them to become even more depressed. I'm just getting a little tired of hearing that love heals things when actually it just hides the person's problems.

 

[A86]

A double edged sword thats subjective with different experiences.

People believe relationships will make them happy because they can... Doesn't mean it will though.

 

[DepravedFurball]

Without solid experience, then all you've got is speculation and observation.

'Love' can make you feel on top of the world. It can give you a 'high' that can't be mimicked by any type or combination of illicit substances. It can give you a new-found source of courage that can enable you to tackle problems that previously proved far too difficult to even think about. And it can give you the strength necessary to turn you into a far better person.


Yes, some, if not most relationship fizzle out or explode violently. But those that last a lifetime are the ones you should be focusing on. To find them, I suggest volunteering at an old-folks' home, and at your first sight of a couple who have been married for 75 years, you'll understand everything in an instant.

 

[megalon]

I am in the camp that does believe that relationships can make people happier for a few reasons.

One, it absolutely has to be an improvement over the loneliness of being perpetually solitary. Two, a million love songs, movies, poems etc can't be wrong. Three, because I may have loved someone once years ago (though unrequited) and when she was near, it was the happiest I had ever felt.

You look around and it seems like everyone else on the planet has no problem finding love. They don't even need to try, they take it for granted, sometimes they throw it away, and it's on to the next one. If you feel like you're the one person in the universe who can't obtain that, it's soul crushing.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Without love and love-relationships most all of us wouldn't be here, I know there are expectations to that of course, like a child of rape etc...It's human nature all of it-the desire to couple and reproduce and have sex is in our genes, and impossible to fight, though there again, some do fight it like choosing a life of celibacy for example.

To believe being in love will make you happy is a pretty immature way of looking at the cycle of a real loving relationship. Love fades along with beauty and the only thing left is the feeling of connection you had/have with that person-that is it. But people in general are immature and don't think long-term anything so like having a baby but not the trials of raising the child, or like the wedding but not the actual marriage that is the problem. No one wants the reality, we all want the pretty dress, the happy baby and the perfect partner. That is where we all fail. People have zero ability to see reality. Reality sucks and it's ugly and painful and NOT pretty. No one wants that.

So into summing up my feelings (You don't have to agree) people think relationships will make them happy because we have been taught that by all the wonderful Happily Ever After propaganda campaigns since we were little children. Just like when you get that new shiney whatever-how long does it really make you happy? Not very. There has to be deeper meaning and connection and love in those things or they will never make you "happy" and happiness is always fleeting no matter what you tie that emotion to.

 

[Ree]

I understand where you're coming from! While I believe that romance and love is magical and special from other relationships, for it to work out and both be fully happy, one should work on themselves first and be healed and fulfilled first, otherwise they will be relying on the other person to make them happy, which isn't very healthy for either of them. So good luck to everyone, and love and work towards yourselves first! :3 love seems to crawl its way into our lives once we do so ^_^

 

[MollyBeGood]

I understand where you're coming from! While I believe that romance and love is magical and special from other relationships, for it to work out and both be fully happy, one should work on themselves first and be healed and fulfilled first, otherwise they will be relying on the other person to make them happy, which isn't very healthy for either of them. So good luck to everyone, and love and work towards yourselves first! :3 love seems to crawl its way into our lives once we do so ^_^

Oh good point I get off topic when I think of all the people in the world who cannot even find one person who will give them the time of day let alone be in a relationship with them...I think they are holding out on relationships being the end all when they, relationships, are not.

Yes, do work on yourself but actually the right person can help you with your issues too, if you let them. The right person can heal you-so in that sense trying to make yourself perfect before you fall in love in kinda impossible since no one is perfect.

LoL I should just be silent

 

[Ree]

Oh good point I get off topic when I think of all the people in the world who cannot even find one person who will give them the time of day let alone be in a relationship with them...I think they are holding out on relationships being the end all when they, relationships, are not.

Yes, do work on yourself but actually the right person can help you with your issues too, if you let them. The right person can heal you-so in that sense trying to make yourself perfect before you fall in love in kinda impossible since no one is perfect.

LoL I should just be silent

lol I agree with ya! But yeah, I didn't mean perfect :3 just that inner peace and contentedness(is that a word? haha) inside oneself but yes, relationships whether they be family, friends, or bfs/gfs etc help with that too! The days do seem to feel more sunny when there's those who are there for you and are understanding! I guess I should have said that there should be a balance, instead of entirely one or the other

 

[MollyBeGood]

lol I agree with ya! But yeah, I didn't mean perfect :3 just that inner peace and contentedness(is that a word? haha) inside oneself but yes, relationships whether they be family, friends, or bfs/gfs etc help with that too! The days do seem to feel more sunny when there's those who are there for you and are understanding! I guess I should have said that there should be a balance, instead of entirely one or the other

Oh no-you're fine, Ree, and I actually love what you said..I am a bit jaded and I have trouble finding the happy balance in everything but it can be there and should be sought out, absolutely

 

[Sea Bass]

Love is a very important aspect in our lives and I think it is a major contributor to our over-all happiness during the time we exist on this earth, but I don't think love is a cure all. Sure, studies have shown that married people tend to live longer and happier lives, but I think there is something key that is missing from the equation if all one focuses on is love. I think that one of the most important things one can do to find happiness in life is the meaning of it. Once we find meaning, everything else just seems to fall into place.

 

[bcsr]

Too many people think being in a relationship is going to solve all of their problems, and that isn't the case. Those problems will still exist, and can lead to unhealthy, toxic, and dependent relationships.

The fact is most relationships fail. An overwhelming majority, in fact. To pin your hopes for happiness on a perfect romance is to set yourself up for disappointment. Once the initial "high" ends, and it will end, you'll realize that a relationship brings in a whole new set of problems to deal with.

I've said it before, but I still find it to be true. If you can't be happy with yourself, you can't truly be happy with someone else.

 

[S_Spartan]

Too many people think being in a relationship is going to solve all of their problems, and that isn't the case. Those problems will still exist, and can lead to unhealthy, toxic, and dependent relationships.

The fact is most relationships fail. An overwhelming majority, in fact. To pin your hopes for happiness on a perfect romance is to set yourself up for disappointment. Once the initial "high" ends, and it will end, you'll realize that a relationship brings in a whole new set of problems to deal with.

I've said it before, but I still find it to be true. If you can't be happy with yourself, you can't truly be happy with someone else.

This is all very true.

 

[AGR]

I don't agree,humans are social animals,if you have a good relationship with someone it will defenitely help you,be with your family,friends or spouse,it is actually quite known that lonely people have a higher risk of health problems and maybe even die earlier that others:
Marriage and Men's Health - Harvard Health Publications

I also dont think that anybody thinks it will solve all their problems,I hear people talk about that,but I never saw someone like that,does anyone really think like that?

 

[Remus]

There is no magic pill I'm afraid. Also bad relationships can make you a hell of a lot worse.

 

[S_Spartan]

This will sound bleak but the problem with human existence is that there isn't really much to believe in and people are always looking for something bigger than themslves.

So they turn to romance and "love" because there isn't really many alternate avenues to fulfillment.

A great source of human misery is our constant search for things that don't exist. We always need more but the "more" is not there.

 

[Lilly789]

"Why do people believe relationships will make you happy? "

Because they are human and fundamentally flawed. People will do anything in hope of making their problems disappear. They don't even need to really believe it will work, they just get so desperate they will do it anyway.

There is nothing healthy or happy about being desperate, or ignoring logic and common sense, or thinking someone else will fix your problems.

You need to be happy and healthy by yourself before you can have a happy and healthy relationship.

The fact is a relationship does not fix internal dischord.

 

[AGR]

This will sound bleak but the problem with human existence is that there isn't really much to believe in and people are always looking for something bigger than themslves.

So they turn to romance and "love" because there isn't really many alternate avenues to fulfillment.

A great source of human misery is our constant search for things that don't exist. We always need more but the "more" is not there.

I think a big source of happiness is also because humans look for more and anytime you set out to look for more,people will be negative,"you can't do that","it's not possible","it doesnt exist","you are too old now","that just doesn't happen","you have to do this", maybe because they care about you or they want you to be like them who never tried,if they are not doing bad things or supporting bad ideologies,it should be up to them to find out if it's possible.

I would think that the most fun thing would be the path leading to the answer anyway.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I don't agree,humans are social animals,if you have a good relationship with someone it will defenitely help you,be with your family,friends or spouse,it is actually quite known that lonely people have a higher risk of health problems and maybe even die earlier that others:
Marriage and Men's Health - Harvard Health Publications

I also dont think that anybody thinks it will solve all their problems,I hear people talk about that,but I never saw someone like that,does anyone really think like that?

I don't really believe in statistics/studies that much, but that's just me. Sure, maybe what they say may be accurate, but I don't think a lot of people who are single doesn't mean they're lonely. I'm sure that being with family, friends, and spouse may help you, but they aren't the only kind of people you should turn to. If you can be able to seek a good kind of therapist or psychologist they might be able to help you combat with your depression and issues. I'm not saying I think it
s bad people should have relationships, but I'm saying that I see some people who think that it is the answer to solve/heal your problems. Not heal actually, but they think it's a way to cure for their depression. Imagine that there was one spouse who didn't socialize much, had no friends, and always keep having suicidal thoughts and the other spouse being the complete opposite of their spouse. I've read in different sites that the boyfriend/girlfriend actually wanted to break up with that person because they were either to emotionally dependent on their spouse, too clingy, or even they couldn't handle people who are unstable with themselves. I just feel bad that kids my age(and even if they do have depressed lives) actually seek relationships when they're younger and thinking it'l help them.

 

[fate12321]

Well the fact that "A relationship will bring happiness" sounds more like an opinion to me . Just because your in a relationship dosent mean that everything will be near perfect. There are times in which couples will fight and not get a long and will lead to a possible break up. But in order to actually prove that "relationship should bring happiness", you need to be in one and draw out your conclusions, rather then take someone's word for it.

 

[Hellhound]

Some people just don't like being alone. That's perfectly understandable.