Why do I keep coming back to this place?

Entangled

Entangled

Well-known member
I believe that I have gotten over my anxieties, sign out of this place and try to live my life as a normal person...it never lasts and I just crawl back to this forum for help.

This is the 3rd time, so hello again everyone.

I'm getting really tired of this. I get back on my feet and am totally pumped to get out there and socialize, then one little thing goes wrong and my life just crashes down. It's like my feeling better and self confidence is just some glass illusion...

Any thoughts on this will be appreciated
 
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Silatuyok

Well-known member
Coming here isn't a bad thing. I don't have much anxiety left in my life, but I still like to come here from time to time because it's a good place to get advice, the people are nice, and there are some really interesting conversations.
As for your self-confidence, that has to be built over time, and the process of falling and getting back up is all part of what is necessary to build your confidence. Life is made up of cycles and seasons, so there will be times you feel better and times you don't. The important thing is to go with it, and not give up.
This forum isn't just a place for people who have failed or who aren't out there leading normal lives. We come here for support and camaraderie, just like any other group of people with similar experiences/interests.
 
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Scandic123

Well-known member
Absolutely_Sweet_Marie said:
I still like to come here from time to time because it's a good place to get advice, the people are nice, and there are some really interesting conversations.
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I agree, I also really like this forum. I come here each and every day, even if I'm not needing help, and that's because, as you said, the people are nice and the conversations are interesting. And it is indeed a great place to get advice. Thumbs up to everyone on this forum :thumbup:
 
N

NoUsername

New member
I'm still trying to get over my social anxiety, and I Know that I'll eventually fail. But sometimes we have to prepare to fail, we have to try harder and harder until failure doesn't bother us anymore.
Keep trying... Seriously.
I met a really nice girl a couple a weeks ago and she was really nice to me, I asked her number(this was a great accomplishment to me xD) and I usually chat with her on facebook once a day.
Of course I'm afraid to say something stupid and ruin everything.. Will I give up? No.
"I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom." - George S. Patton
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
Because you don`t think that people without social lives are as likely to reject you as people who have a lot of social options.

You`re not alone-- I would even say that most normal people have friends that they cherish and go to when they want to have fun, and then they have other friends who they don`t respect and only go to when they need to dump their shit on them. It`s a good way of appearing to be a better and stronger person to your `real`friends.

You`re probably not going to find a solution here, because people who can help themselves tend to think they`re better than the people on this site, and like you, only come here out of desperation. It`s actually really horrible and why I think most people are not inherently good. I`m not saying you should always be wallowing in your misery, just that your biggest problem probably relates to the fact that you only connect to people in terms of what they have to offer you personally-- in terms of status or entertainment or sympathy, and not because you`re even the slightest bit interested in anyone except yourself.

If you want to be happier, learn to get over yourself. That`s my advice.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
Odo said:
Because you don`t think that people without social lives are as likely to reject you as people who have a lot of social options.

You`re not alone-- I would even say that most normal people have friends that they cherish and go to when they want to have fun, and then they have other friends who they don`t respect and only go to when they need to dump their shit on them. It`s a good way of appearing to be a better and stronger person to your `real`friends.

You`re probably not going to find a solution here, because people who can help themselves tend to think they`re better than the people on this site, and like you, only come here out of desperation. It`s actually really horrible and why I think most people are not inherently good. I`m not saying you should always be wallowing in your misery, just that your biggest problem probably relates to the fact that you only connect to people in terms of what they have to offer you personally-- in terms of status or entertainment or sympathy, and not because you`re even the slightest bit interested in anyone except yourself.

If you want to be happier, learn to get over yourself. That`s my advice.
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perhaps this way of thinking is merely symptomatic of the disorder
 
Capsaicin

Capsaicin

Well-known member
People are going to make mistakes. You, your parents, your coworkers... everyone. Don't let one mistake dictate the status of your recovery.
 
Quietguy11

Quietguy11

Well-known member
I'm deeply effected by external events, whether they turn out to be good or bad. If I have a good external experience (mainly with people) I will feel good about myself for much of the night, and will feel very satisfied with how well I was able to cope and function in that situation. When an external event crushes my self-esteem and makes me feel lesser "than" everyone else, I find it hard to recuperate, and function. Like tonight I was put on ignore like I always am when I'm out with people (I sometimes wonder why I keep putting myself in those situations) and I went home feeling pretty crappy, so much that it took every bit of mental focus that I had just to watch my usual amount of anime episodes for the night. I really wish external events didn't have so much of an effect on me. I wish I was strong enough to be so self-sufficient that nothing sways me, not even the littlest upset.
 
sahxox

sahxox

Well-known member
I've found the exact same thing. I thought I had it cured and was all good, not needing this website at all either. Then it's like being rattled and falling over flat on your butt. Glad I'm not the only one. Right now, I'm planning on getting back up by realising I've done it before and acknowledging that it takes time.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Entangled said:
I believe that I have gotten over my anxieties, sign out of this place and try to live my life as a normal person...it never lasts and I just crawl back to this forum for help.

This is the 3rd time, so hello again everyone.

I'm getting really tired of this. I get back on my feet and am totally pumped to get out there and socialize, then one little thing goes wrong and my life just crashes down. It's like my feeling better and self confidence is just some glass illusion...

Any thoughts on this will be appreciated
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Probably because you only dealt with your issues superficially and didn't get to the source of your anxieties and fears. It sounds like your "ego" is very fragile, as it is with most people who suffer from SA. Try to pinpoint why that is. Once you work on your core issues, it will be much harder to bring you down.

I'm beginning to care less about what people think. Or perhaps, more aptly put, I'm spending LESS TIME trying to figure out what people are thinking. I can't control everything but I can control how I respond. I'm swapping out my negative thoughts with positive ones. Being grateful for the little things. Instead of pointless worrying about the future and ruminating the past, I try to focus on the present.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
It's there, like Everest, but easier to climb into.

Oh dear. I already posted that. Damn old age memory loss.
 
J

jaim38

Well-known member
ImNotMyIllness said:
I'm beginning to care less about what people think. Or perhaps, more aptly put, I'm spending LESS TIME trying to figure out what people are thinking. I can't control everything but I can control how I respond. I'm swapping out my negative thoughts with positive ones. Being grateful for the little things. Instead of pointless worrying about the future and ruminating the past, I try to focus on the present.
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This is key to becoming a stronger person.
 
greggy

greggy

Well-known member
I know how you feel, but its like for instance me with my medication, I stay regularly taking it and I get to a point where I think im cured!!! Then I go off it, give or take two weeks I turn into a freaking crazy freaking freaky freak!! With a potion of crazy on the side, what im saying is some times we need to accept we are depending on help from friends and other suffers who understand because they are going throw the same crap.
 
Xervello

Xervello

Well-known member
Entangled said:
I believe that I have gotten over my anxieties, sign out of this place and try to live my life as a normal person...it never lasts and I just crawl back to this forum for help.

This is the 3rd time, so hello again everyone.

I'm getting really tired of this. I get back on my feet and am totally pumped to get out there and socialize, then one little thing goes wrong and my life just crashes down. It's like my feeling better and self confidence is just some glass illusion...

Any thoughts on this will be appreciated
Click to expand...


Is it possible you also have OCD? I have both. With OCD, it's like a retractable cord - you can stray from habit and routine for a little while but eventually it pulls you right back into the same old behaviors. The only way I can think to counter it is to take babysteps and slowly decrease your activity here/slowly increase your socialness offline until the former is less than the latter. I doubt you'll ever fully be rid of this place until you develop a support system offline like you seem to have here. Best of luck!
 
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