eh, I've been lashing out lately, very selfish, ungrateful. Then I go to bed and just want to bash my head in with a rock.
My winter break is coming sooner and sooner, but my homework just keeps piling on. I feel like after break I'm going to fail some classes. But I don't even care. There is nothing I need to be learning from this right now. It's so pointless and depressing every day the same thing....I'm not sure if I cant take it for much longer.
I am so tired. I just want to sleep forever. I still haven't done any of my homework for geometry or physics. I just don't care enough about school. I know once my dad sees my grades he'll flip, I'm not really sure what I'll do then. Meanwhile everyday I'm getting homework from those two...I have whole packet sitting in front of me with 5 minutes till school starts. I just don't want to do it. I don't feel like I have to learn that. I'm tired of learning pointless things.
Again it's close to Christmas/summer holidays and I have no one to spend time with, apart from family. I worry over this so much. No one to do stuff with, nothing.
People close to my age give me a hard time over my interests and how 'different' I am (I just turned 33), my aunt just did this a few weeks ago to me and I am not over it.I want to kill myself so bad... I just wish I had someone similar my age I could spend time with, instead I am hanging online with younger people who are similar, but don't know I am older (I feel guilty for this) and they use me. I can't go to their meetups because then they'll find out how old I am. So I feel left out.
this is why i am depressed and it's getting worse, i don't know how to cope with this.
Same as christa about having to spend Christmas with no one apart from family. Family is good, but sometimes you want to feel sociable and part of a group of friends.
I'm depressed also because I said something that I'm scared has offended somebody and they will hate me for it or something. It's probably not a problem at all but I'm just over sensitive and over thinking things. Sure doesn't feel like it though.
I'm depressed because my brother is coming back from uni soon, I haven't seen him in ages and I'm worried about him changing and myself changing. Things are always moving, time is ticking and I feel like I have not improved or grown emotionally at all. My mind is still a 13 yr old and it scares me.
17 and never had a girlfriend (the closest thing I've had was when a girl hugged me when I was 13)
no friends
only people to spend Christmas with are my mom and older brother
low self esteem
afraid of going Christmas shopping because of crowds
Well, it's my 23rd birthday tomorrow and I'm still alone. Never had a girlfriend, never even kissed a girl. Don't like the leave my room because I am always hating the way I look. No friends either really, apart from 2 who I see maybe once or twice a year.
I have to go to school on Monday. :🙁: We're having a test on Wednesday, and I haven't studied. Then vacations (finally), but the first week after the vacations: presentation, in ENGLISH! It's hard enough to have a presentation, but in foreign language ... That's even harder. And a few weeks late - another presentation. You have to present something + lead a debate about the presented theme. How in the world am I going to do all that?!? I'm not capable of doing all that ... I just want to die. :🙁:
I'm out of work, almost completely broke, spend almost all of my time alone, and even when I get an idea for something to do I come up with excuses and can't shake the feeling that anything I try will never work out.
One of the few people I could call a friend hasn't spoken to me in almost a year. They were the person I would rant too and discuss things with and just work things out with. We both supported each other when things got bad for both of us. Things got good for them again and from that point on I felt like I was talking to myself whenever I spoke to them. I could tell they weren't interested anymore.
While a part of me wishes to see an email from them every time I check my inbox, another part of me wonders if I want to be talking to someone who only needs me when times are tough for them.
Everytime I open up to someone, they run a mile or tease me. And you wonder why I am so quiet and act denfensive..there must be something wrong with me. I just want to die.
Everytime I open up to someone, they run a mile or tease me. And you wonder why I am so quiet and act denfensive..there must be something wrong with me. I just want to die.
Christa there is nothing wrong with you. There are literally thousands of people want to listen to you. Message me whenever, seriousley.
Well, I've been realising how much of a loser I really am, and also there are things I have to do "out there" in the world that, just the thought of, scare me to bits cos of my SAD.
I thought it would be nice to start a thread so that we could explain what it is that is possibly bugging us, or making us feel a little down or very upset. So just state what it is that is making you feel depressed.
I'm not depressed at this second, but the last few weeks I've been depressed mainly because I'm having trouble trying to get away from wanting to have a love life, and I want to be single and love it...but it's hard...
:🙁:
My younger 'friends' on a site I usualy hang out at are annoying me again. One girl asked this really stupid question and now all my 'friends' are asking the same thing, now I am scared drama will start and I will have to leave the site. I just want friends. why can't i just go somewhere, be myself without crap happening? I am in tears right now and can't stop crying. i hate this.
#101
