Why am i always ignored?
- Thread starter recluse
- Start date
sleepysparrow
Well-known member
That's all not true Recluse. I think you're a great person and i'd love to meet you and be your friend, and i'd be really sad if I didn't see you around here. If you want to talk about anything you can send me a pm. I'll always listen!
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anomicdeer
Well-known member
I can't answer that question because I get ignored too. For a reason I don't know.
sorry i said you werent ugly. i didnt know you would take it so hard. did you take that photo in the mirror? you must have, i can see the cracks. i dont know how you manage to force the smile.
YOU ARE NOT UGLY!!! i dont associate with ugly people because i'm scared good looking people will judge me. it's part of my SA thing.
YOU ARE NOT UGLY!!! i dont associate with ugly people because i'm scared good looking people will judge me. it's part of my SA thing.
You are not ugly. You are an attractive guy with a great smile. (I'm assuming that is you in your av?) 
I know exactly how you feel though. I think a lot of us here have the same problem where it's very hard for us to accept compliments from other people. We feel as if they are just feeling sorry for us because it's hard for us to believe anything positive about ourselves. It is so hard to escape from the self-loathing that can accompany sad.
I know exactly how you feel though. I think a lot of us here have the same problem where it's very hard for us to accept compliments from other people. We feel as if they are just feeling sorry for us because it's hard for us to believe anything positive about ourselves. It is so hard to escape from the self-loathing that can accompany sad.What do you want people to do? Do you have a clear idea of what you expect out of those that live around you? -- My point is that if you don't really know what you want, or can't make it precise, you can't really know if you are being offered or given it; That coupled with a negativistic look at things might make your situation look more desperate than it in reality is.
BlackKids
Well-known member
Its pretty common to feel that no one understand you but Id be fairly confident that 100% of people on here do. You should try and meet other SA sufferers. I doubt anyone without SA will ever truly understand no matter how compassionate they are
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
It can't be that bad, can it? Ugly is a very strong word to use. I haven't seen too many people who I would call ugly. You look handsome from what I can see in that picture. Cute smile too. That is if that is you in the picture.
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
Very true! One would have to know what it's like to really understand. Well, maybe they can picture a time when they were very anxious and they can just try to imagine what it would be like if they were like that all or most of the time.
Anubis
Well-known member
The problem is that your value of self primarily originates from how others view you. So when people ignore you, you literally feel worthless.
I can basically lay out an average day for you, because it's a problem I have:
- Great day means people are griming with happiness and being attentive to you.
- Shitty day means people are barely noticing you.
Since you can't control other people, your self-esteem starts to get very "bi-polar"-esque. Which is stressful as hell.
Sinar_Matahari
Well-known member
Well, I'm not going to hold it against you because you're right that there are a lot of people out there who are full of s*** and I know how very real mistrust is for people like us. I don't appreciate being called a liar though. The idea of attractive and unattractive is a subjective matter. Just because you may be ugly to yourself doesn't mean that others will think you're ugly too. Oh, and I can't hate you because I don't know you, dude. Hate is a very strong emotion and I can't say that I've hated too many people in my life. I don't throw that word around casually.
And people would rather not have friends that betray them. I understand that you're pissed right now but that doesn't make any sense. People want friends who are trustworthy and reliable.
Keep in mind that it isn't very common to find people who will be true friends. There are plenty of people out there who have superficial relationships and why would you want to be friends with any of them in the first place? I have two friends where I live and they know a ton of people whom they call friends. They're acquaintaces as far as I'm concerned but they call them friends.
If you want superficial friendships then you'll have to have something to offer which the other person sees as valuable. There were plenty of people in the past who only came around because they wanted something. I've had people steal shit from my home, borrow things and never give them back. A lot of girls just wanted to be around me because they knew that we would attract guys together and guys wanted to be "friends" with me because they were interested in me. They quickly dropped me once their realized that what I really wanted from them was a real friendship.
Many years ago one friend actually came and told me that another mutual friend had told her that there was no point in hanging out with me if I didn't have any weed to smoke. I eventually realized that it wasn't about me. The girl who had said this is the same with everyone.
Back in school I knew this kid who everyone flocked to because he was the only rich kid in school. He would take groups of people on vacation to Spain with him. He was handsome but people only cared that they could get something from him.
My friends and I didn't hang out with him because we were not phony mooches. We couldn't be around people who leech off of others. I was really surprised that the two friends that I have now (known them for over a year) really like me and want to hang out with me although I don't have anything to offer them other than my friendship. I still feel that it's too good to be true sometimes.
Whenever I tried making friends it didn't seem to work out for me. I used to exhanchge numbers with people and want to hang out with them but they didn't really want to hang out with me so I figured that there was something wrong with me. This used to make me really upset and now I don't care anymore. If the majority of people are phony leeches then I would rather be lonely. I don't have anything to offer other than my friendship so the only people who will stick around will be the people who give a shit.
I understand too and feel the same in many ways. I'm always as nice as I can be towards people, and haven't got far socially at all, and I really feel people just become bored of me aswell.
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Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
Do you mean you are ignored on these forums? Or are you ignored somewhere else? tell me.
Nicholas
Well-known member
You will never get better. That is the truth, sorry. You know why. Because you don't want to get better. Nothing will make you feel better, because you won't accept it, you won't believe it.
Change your fuking negative thoughts. Even if they are true, forget about them for a while, because they will kill you. It's like cocaine. It's good, it's so good, but it kills you and destroys your life. Negative thoughts are so dangerous, no matter if they are true or not, you need to send them to hell, at least some, sometimes, try, damn it.
Suppose you are ugly, then what? Crying will make you look better? No. If you have a problem either you accept it or you solve it, or partially solve it, you do what you can.
But the truth is that you are NOT ugly, geez, I actually think if you were not depressed and you didn't complain so much, girls would love you and find you cute. because there's nothing ugly about you, nothing.
Sorry for this strong opinion, but you need to realize that complaining won't solve anything, even though it is easy to hope someone will rescue you... but I have seen reality, when you're depressed, no one comes and rescue you. You have to say "Damn it, ok, let's get up..." and do something yourself. Please do something... you can do it... I thought I couldn't do anything either, but I realized I actually can.
Take care.
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