Whos ever had a gf/bf?

[Liam17]

Never had one (gf that is) and probably never will...

(guess i'm used to being alone though)

Same here mate :/.

Your not alone

 

[Felgen]

I've had one serious girlfriend. I'm not used to being in a relationship, though...

 

[planemo]

Same here mate :/.

Your not alone

You're a good looking bloke though and much younger than me. I know this is kinda hypocritical coming from me, but just believe in yourself more. In time I'm sure you'll find someone.

 

[Acegame]

I never had a girlfriend. Sometimes i think its because i don't want it enough. Otherwise i guess i would have taken any initiative in the past. The chances were there. When i think about having a relationship i see sooooooo many new very anxious situations pop up...... Why going through so much anxiety (going out on a date for example) for something i actually dont really look forward to. But then ofc, deep down i DO want to have a girlfriend.

 

[I'm Not There]

I had a gf for two months when I was 15 and that's it. Yesterday I turned 21 and so far it doesn't seem like anyone's going to succeed her.

 

[JamesSmith]

I had one five years ago. I've made it impossible to have another for the most part in my five years of isolation. Will i ever have one again? I don't know and don't care right now. I'm more concerned with if I'll ever have friends again.

 

[SonicMan]

Girlfriend? I wish. No one would be able to cope with me, lol.

 

[Anti Matter]

I had a relationship for about 4 months.

 

[goldenholds]

One time some girls in my class randomly paired some of us up as couples, and so I ended up with a girlfriend for a short while. If that counts as a girlfriend. Everything was quite cute and innocent at school, then one evening she knocked on my door and wanted to go for a walk. Then she tried to kiss me, at which point I became extremely anxious and deftly dodged her very valiant efforts at planting one. The next day she broke up with me. I was 10.

Another time I was with a friend and somehow ended up hanging out with one of his friends for the evening. I walked her home that night and bravely planted a kiss right on her lips. Then the next night I was too anxious to even talk to her or hangout, and refused to kiss her even when other people tried to force me too. A half an hour later she broke up with me. I was 13. That was the last time I kissed a girl. That was 25 years ago.

And apart from my dreams, that’s the extent of me ever having a gf. I did fall in love with a girl I knew one time, and I even asked her out, though it took me nearly three years to get the courage. She was the only girl I have ever asked out, but she was too busy to see me. No matter, the anxiousness would have made me mess it up or run away anyways. As it was I messed up every other chance I had with her and disappointed her so many times even though I tried so hard not to. The anxiousness always got me, no matter how brave I was, no matter how much I tried to trick it, ignore it, suppress it, tolerate it, hide it, get over it, out drink it, outsmart it. All I was left to do was dream of a place where there was no anxiousness, so that we could be together, and see the blissful sweetness of believing in each others eyes. Maybe the next time my love, maybe the next time.

 

[A friend]

You've got to find the things that you love to do. The things you have a passion for and immerse yourself in those. Pets are great too. You can love them and they give you love unconditionally.

My advice is to learn to love life, there's so much more to it than whether you are single or not. You're lost if you continue to see life as some sort of incurable disease simply because you are unlucky in the dating stakes. Being single is not a disease in need of a cure

You might get to a point in your life when your appreciate your idependence. I know I have. I've always been single, I didn't go to the 'prom', because that sort of thing bores me to tears and I don't lose any sleep over it. It ceased being an issue long ago.

I'm guessing society and culture has taught us that "if you're single, you'll be miserable for all eternity" and things related.

It's unfortunate that mostly everyone is tortured by being single just because of ignorant, narrow-minded, and just plain stupid myths that were started by some idiot centuries ago.

Being single isn't a deadly murdering disease that needs to be cured. It may cause depression, but ultimately, there is some cure to the depression.

The last few weeks I've been studying things to be grateful for, and things that I can do with my freedom now. And judging by my friends' stories on their relationships, it turns

out that you don't have the freedom to do what you want all the time in a relationship. If you try to do what you want all the time when you're with someone, you'll wreck the relationship, or end up miserable and wishing you were single forever.


I bet that if we were taught that the true facts about love, we would probably be thinking that it isn't the true key to happiness, that happiness is obtained through other things, not just some time spent with a person of the opposite gender.

The depression I had was possibly 90% sub-conscious, and that's probably the case for most people. Most of us grew up hearing all these fairy-tales and watching these movies that all dipected love between two people to be the best thing in reality.

Is that being brain-washed by some cultural myth? Are the parents of people in society too unintelligent to do research or look at their own marriages to tell their children that love isn't the only way you'll be happy?

My best friend told me that he wished that he wasn't interested in women, and he wished he didn't have to have love-interests of any kind. He told me he wished that he could be single for his entire existance without feeling any negative side-effect of any possible kind because of that.

Not to start controversial agruements, but that's something that I'd want to have more than anything. If I could have the ability to be single without feeling one tiny shed of negativity of any variant because of it, I'd practically worship that like God.



This soul-mate desire thing most-likely traces back to all of our upbringings, it can be prevented from harming future generations, and it can be fixed now.


My response to Kiwong saying "being single is not a disease in need of a cure" is this:

Yes, being single forever is definitely anything but a disease in need of a cure, wanting to have a lover/soul-mate/partner so bad that you get depressed is the disease that needs to be cured.

No human being should have to be plagued from being single, it's not fair, and it's just not right in any way. I'm not wasting my life trying to get a girlfriend/wife just because I feel depressed or lonely, and nobody else should do that either.

 

[saturnalia]

Strangely, dating was never an area affected by my social anxiety.

 

[Shygirl2011]

I've had two bfs.

One turned out to be a total ass.

I'll always have feelings for my first bf though- we are also really close friends.

 

[A friend]

Strangely, dating was never an area affected by my social anxiety.

Lucky you are, embrace that you should.

 

[saturnalia]

Lucky you are, embrace that you should.

I think I did a little too much embracing

 

[3lefts]

Nights like this remind me I might not be able to handle a relationship.

 

[AlizeD]

i had one bf, it was nice the first year and got complicated the second year. this is why i broke up after two years.
right now, i somehow miss having a bf but on the other hand i am sooo fed up with guys! they make me so scared and there are too many of them interessted in me right now! can't they see that it makes me feel...strange and giving me panik?!
of cause they don't but i am not rational right now..

 

[Aussie_Lad]

I've had friends that are girls, does that count?

 

[Lionheart]

..............