Huh. I'm kinda glad you posted this because I had a similar question. I don't think I'm awesome, per se - I'm certainly, objectively not (edit: not in a global sense - I'm pretty awesome in some ways, I will admit) - but I don't have a problem with that. I've got my flaws and faults, but I'm aware of and thankful for my high points as well. I find this refreshingly human. I'd rate my self confidence and/or esteem as reasonable - I am neither full of myself nor my own worst critic. I try to be realistic, and while it may not be instinct, I think I've fairly well internalized the idea that our pitiful monkey brains are quick to assume we're better than we really are at what we think we're good at and worse than we really are at what we think we aren't.
I'm not a religious person at all, but I try to keep the Serenity Prayer (quoted below) at heart.
Serenity Prayer said:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Easier to say than do, but it's a nice affirmation.
I'd like to thank you for bringing it up again because I've only recently - despite being a complete recluse - come around on the idea that maybe, just maybe, I have some kind of mental issue. I've been extremely distressed that I had been very efficiently deluding myself for years. Since social phobics / avoidants are
supposed to have crushingly low self esteem and depression problems, I was worried I was so preternaturally good at cheering myself up that if I worked to resolve the issue I might discover my whole self perception was hopelessly wrong in a negative way. That was a hurdle I really didn't want to tangle my foot on and wind up busting my face over.
So maybe the very notion of interacting with another human being seems like the most terrifying thing in the world to me, but I won't let it get me down. Maybe I'm just naturally optimistic. From what I've read in the past few days that puts me in a better position than most folks with these issues.
Just for additional clarity I'd like to add to Guffaw's question: How many folks
naturally feel this way - that they have SA and have felt reasonably self confident for as long as they can remember? Not getting there the hard way, just that it's always been that way?
I'm pretty sure I'm still hung up on this issue because, regardless of how silly it is, I feel like I'm intruding when I say "I know ya'll are depressed but hey guys I'm pretty awesome".
