Which is worse:
Being lonely (or missing out on a friendship) because you're afraid to talk to people,
OR
Getting rejected when you try to talk to people?
Well, rejection sucks, but think about it - is it ever really 'rejection'?
Like Phocas said, maybe you just didn't connect with that person or maybe they were just 'busy', or they were having a bad day (or a bad century) or maybe they have totally different interests/views on the world/priorities/plans in life or that afternoon/insert what you think might be important....?
Chances are they might even be distracted or don't wear glasses and might not have recognized you (happened to me a few times, and people thought I was being 'posh' yikes..) maybe even with glasses haha...
At least you tried, and maybe they were rude or absentminded, so shame on them-??
(You can find better and lovelier people elsewhere!!
)
And is it ever just 'either' - 'or'? We like to think it in 'black' or 'white' - either this person will be totally enthusiastic right away and totally love me and accept me, or they will hate me forever - and in real life it's rarely like that...
People can like you just a little, or in a different way, or they may like your hat or your personality or the way you crochet or your interests in gardening and horticulture or Aztec artefacts or neolithic insects... and people have different categories of friends and some may have 'slots' for certain categories filled...
So it may be easier to find friends who are new to town or who share some of your interests.. and to not expect too much at first, just to maybe be friendly acquaintances and maybe more later..
Maybe people need time to get to know you better, or to see you on a repeated basis before they can trust you (maybe they have sa too or are shy, even if it doesn't look like it at all) etc.
Some people may seem really 'sociable' but may later admit they can only be that way with old friends or relatives they've been with from childhood, and have trouble meeting new friends - and may admire you for easily meeting new people!! (happened to me, shock shock) Some people may have so many relatives or a big family and busy life that they may not even have a 'need' for new friends..
People may also have different time slots or life categories 'available' - for example, someone may be busy during the week, but may be happy to see you on weekends or in holidays or when their work/life isn't so busy etc. Or at certain events or workshops or hiking trips etc. Someone said to me, 'I have party friends, and people I go to coffee with or have meaningful conversations with.' (?) Some people can do multiple things, ideally you can enjoy many things with friends, but if someone really hates galleries it's maybe better to not drag them there and find someone who'll go there enthusiastically??
There is a risk either way. I tend to see the risk of getting rejected as being much more painful than the risk of missing out on a possible friendship. But maybe in the long run, I lose a lot more by not trying.
I think many people with sa have a problem with this, and may prefer to stay 'safe' rather than maybe risk a bit and maybe meet interesting new friends!!
And maybe other shy people are just waiting for your first step and have no idea you'd be happy to be their friend or might be interested in the same things too!!