Ugliness

[Richey]

Looks are useless.

i disagree with this, looks have their advantages in many ways.

 

[pebblesdundee]

I don't know. From my experiences, and i don't mean to sound like too much of an egotist, but I find myself attractive, which helps when crossing off reasons people would laugh and point. But thats still a hell of a list

 

[inconspicuous name]

in many situations this is true, but i think finding someone you get on really well with tends to make them look happy and sexy in a way even if they were considered average looking, if they are radiating personality for whatever reason then that can be just as powerful.

being average looking can be difficult because you don't know if you are considered ugly or good looking, but i think if you are happy and you are alive then that can be a good substitute for looks.

if you meet an average looking girl with an amazing personality vs a hot girl with an ok personality i know many guys that'd still go for the hot girl, me probably being one of them too depending on the situation.

when it comes to relationships, you obviously go for the personality. if it's a random hook up then people will always go for looks, makes sense

 

[deleted user 1]

if you meet an average looking girl with an amazing personality vs a hot girl with an ok personality i know many guys that'd still go for the hot girl, me probably being one of them too depending on the situation.

when it comes to relationships, you obviously go for the personality. if it's a random hook up then people will always go for looks, makes sense

There are many cases of people forcing relationships with attractive people. Personality os not the issue, it's the fact that a person who is attractive will be perceived more positively. Hence why so many people will choose to be with an attractive person irrespective of what they are like. They can get talked down and even abused. I'm not trying to over generalise, but the sad truth is that appearance is 9 tenths of the law! Look at every magazine, everything on TV, look at how people follow trends and adjust their behaviours in accordance to the celeb mascots of attractiveness. Aesthetics have such a drastic impact that political agendas are often fronted by a person who people will accept, because they will follow their influence regardless of whether they know it's wrong or right! This is massively seen on TV and music. The power of aesthetics is there in all facets of life, anyone wanting to argue otherwise will be easily and roundly beaten.

 

[inconspicuous name]

There are many cases of people forcing relationships with attractive people. Personality os not the issue, it's the fact that a person who is attractive will be perceived more positively. Hence why so many people will choose to be with an attractive person irrespective of what they are like. They can get talked down and even abused. I'm not trying to over generalise, but the sad truth is that appearance is 9 tenths of the law! Look at every magazine, everything on TV, look at how people follow trends and adjust their behaviours in accordance to the celeb mascots of attractiveness. Aesthetics have such a drastic impact that political agendas are often fronted by a person who people will accept, because they will follow their influence regardless of whether they know it's wrong or right! This is massively seen on TV and music. The power of aesthetics is there in all facets of life, anyone wanting to argue otherwise will be easily and roundly beaten.

i'm not denying looks are highly important, in fact fairly sure i did just say that. i was meant to say that i myself would go for a personality over looks (though you still need to be attracted to the person) if i was looking for a relationship.


when it comes to the media, simple truth is that looks sell.

 

[coyote]

a person doesn't have to have "perfect" looks to be beautiful

"beautiful" encompasses a wide range of physical characteristics - as does "sexy" or "cute" or "attractive" - all of which are different to different people

it's unfortunate if you think that the ONLY members of the opposite sex who are desirable are the ones who possess a very narrow range of physical traits that have been deemed desirable by the social sphere or culture that you're a member of

just because someone doesn't have those "perfect" looks doesn't mean they're ugly or repulsive

i wonder how many statements made on this forum along the lines of, "girls aren't interested in me" fail to take in account two things:

1. the girls in question are very young and have an immature and narrowly defined sense of what is desirable in a boy dictated to them by their youth culture

2. the boy in question - also very young - is only failing to get the attention of the few girls whom he deems desirable (for the same reasons), and not every and all girls, women, or females in general

Hopefully, as we mature, become exposed to more of the world, and get to know ourselves better, we can broaden our idea of what is desirable or attractive in a potential mate, and the whole process becomes much easier.

For example, the other day, two women came into my shop together. One was obviously a little older than the other. I engaged them both in conversation. They were both very attractive. I would have been interested in dating either one of them. One woman was just a couple of years older than myself - in my "age group" if you will. She wore a wedding ring, and was friendly but that's all. The other woman flirted with me quite a bit, and I got the feeling that she was interested in me. It turns out she was the other woman's daughter, and half my age.

My point is - don't limit yourself unnecessarily, and don't assume that other people are putting the same limitations on their own tastes.

 

[inconspicuous name]

^^ gotta agree with the point about different types of characteristics, i can completely ignore somone who is 'hot' or 'sexy' but i have such a weak spot for girls who are cute.

 

[recluse]

I don't know if it can cause sa because most if not every person apart from me on here are good looking.

 

[miss_amy]

You look just fine to me recluse.

 

[krs2snow]

I've met plenty of drop-dead gorgeous people who were also some of the nicest people I've ever met. And I've known ugly people who were fairly "mean", and not in a way that I don't think resulted from their physical status.

Exactly. I'm not suggesting that all pple who are unattractive are nice or that all attractive pple are rude. My point is that ugliness comes in many forms and sometimes ugliness is on the outside, sometimes its on the inside. Same goes w/beauty. Neither ugliness nor beauty are restricted to the physical world. As for the thing about Life, I'm just philosophizing that perhaps Life gives us what we need to work on. So, for example if ur really attractive but have an ugly attitude- u need to work on the inside. If ur supper ugly but have a great personality- u need plastic surgery! (I'm kidding about that last bit there) But, like a payback system. Life gives u one good thing for one bad thing. Tit for tat kinda deal. If this idea were actually true, the drop-dead gorgeous person who also has the nicest personality is in serious trouble! Life is gonna be gunning for them to pay the toll in some way or another!

 

[coyote]

....If this idea were actually true, the drop-dead gorgeous person who also has the nicest personality is in serious trouble! Life is gonna be gunning for them to pay the toll in some way or another!

maybe that's why my life is so screwed up

 

[DanFC]

Looks are useless.

Repeating something over and over again doesn't make it anymore true :-/ Except maybe in your head XD

This is exactly my point only stated in reverse. I was not suggesting that all pple who are unattractive are nice or that all attractive pple are rude. My point was that ugliness comes in many forms and sometimes ugliness is on the outside, sometimes its on the inside. Same goes w/beauty. Neither ugliness nor beauty are restricted to the physical world. As for the thing about Life, I'm just philosophizing that perhaps Life gives us what we need to work on. So, for example if ur really attractive but have an ugly attitude- u need to work on the inside. If ur supper ugly but have a great personality- u need plastic surgery! (I'm kidding about that last bit there) But, like a payback system. Life gives u one good thing for one bad thing. Tit for tat kinda deal. If this idea were actually true, the drop-dead gorgeous person who also has the nicest personality is in serious trouble! Life is gonna be gunning for them to pay the toll in some way or another!

I guess that's just your belief about how the world works. But I myself think that life doesn't even out, some people really do have it good and others don't. I've been poor and though my family was able to get out of it, I have plenty of other family members who have led strong decent lives but, by no fault of their own, are victims of abject poverty and have died as such, in apparent misery. And I guess the same goes for people who suffer incredible amounts of pain in their lives, and that's not even discussing people who die young etc etc. All that kind of diverges from the point a bit, but I just don't believe everyone is on an equal plain.

 

[krs2snow]

I guess that's just your belief about how the world works. But I myself think that life doesn't even out, some people really do have it good and others don't. I've been poor and though my family was able to get out of it, I have plenty of other family members who have led strong decent lives but, by no fault of their own, are victims of abject poverty and have died as such, in apparent misery. And I guess the same goes for people who suffer incredible amounts of pain in their lives, and that's not even discussing people who die young etc etc. All that kind of diverges from the point a bit, but I just don't believe everyone is on an equal plain.

This isn't my belief on how the world works. This is my flimsy philisophical ruminatings about the topic at hand. I'm just chewing the cud. Pondering a point. To bring us back on point, perhaps all those that delt w/ poverty, misery & pain or died young were extremely good looking and had nice personalities to boot? (Lol) But seriously, it sounds like u aren't buying the Tit for Tat hypothesis. Don't know that I do either. Thats the beauty (or is it the ugliness?) of a good ponder.

 

[ILovePocky]

We're all beautifal on the inside; if you think blood and guts are beautifal. Lol

Personally I think it can contribute to your SA. I've been called ugly a lot and it made me even more shy and withdrawn.

 

[Kiwong]

I was walking through the shopping mall today and I thought that most people are average to look at. No one extremely beautiful, no one extremely ugly, just ordinary everyday people.

 

[StandingJelly]

Its a perspectives thing.

Beauty is set by humans ourselves, and adjusted by the media.

Everyone could be beautiful.

 

[Falkor]

Right now at the moment i'm feeling ugly too, but it's just all in my head. I hope.

 

[LonelyWonders]

I think it does to an extent. I know it definitly is a good fuel for it. I know i'm ugly and that doesn't help my confidence to talk to people that I use to call friends.. I don't think it can really be called a cause rather just a fuel sorce. Although you can call that an experienced opinion. It might be a cause for some, just wouldn't expect it to be an often cause.

 

[JamesSmith]

I was walking through the shopping mall today and I thought that most people are average to look at. No one extremely beautiful, no one extremely ugly, just ordinary everyday people.

This is a good point Kiwong has here. Most people are "tweeners" as I like to call them. They aren't attractive, yet they aren't ugly. They are in between.
I'd say the amount of people that are attractive is below 25%, it may even be below 20%.

 

[coyote]

This is a good point Kiwong has here. Most people are "tweeners" as I like to call them. They aren't attractive, yet they aren't ugly. They are in between.
I'd say the amount of people that are attractive is below 25%, it may even be below 20%.

I'd say you have exceptionally limited standards of attractiveness