Girls are generally repulsed by guys with social anxiety. Guys with this disorder arent put together socially and are typically awkward and creepy. These are of course generalizations from my personal life and observations. This guy could be the exception. But chances are if you're asking for girl advice on SPW you probably aren't the most desirable person in the world. There isn't a special way to "approach" a girl to make yourself more desirable if you have SA except by fixing SA itself. So is it so unreasonable for me to suggest not approaching girls and facing the inevitable rejection and pain?
The best way to approach Girls
- Thread starter BlackKids
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Girls are generally repulsed by guys with social anxiety. Guys with this disorder arent put together socially and are typically awkward and creepy. These are of course generalizations from my personal life and observations. This guy could be the exception. But chances are if you're asking for girl advice on SPW you probably aren't the most desirable person in the world. There isn't a special way to "approach" a girl to make yourself more desirable if you have SA except by fixing SA itself. So is it so unreasonable for me to suggest not approaching girls and facing the inevitable rejection and pain?
market.garden
Well-known member
groovy
1
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I spend a good amount of time here and at sas...I'm not sure what spending more time here is gonna do to change my views
I'm not suggesting that everyone with SA is how I described. It's just a generalization of the typical male with social anxiety who has trouble with women.
It's just reality...men with SA aren't attractive to women. So improve SA and you improve your chances. Don't think that approaching a girl a certain way will help...she'll see right through it. That's all I'm saying
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
pretend they are a guy and dont worry about it until after you get to know them. you wouldnt want to find out barbie babe is psycho after asking her out to dinner anyway
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Tiercel
Well-known member
I wish I had dating advice to give, but I've been running on fumes for quite some time. Though to be fair, I probably gave up several years ago. I just got tired of rejection and heartache. And basically just being loathed, despised, and reviled by girls and women for my entire life.
That should be my official slogan. Reviled by Women Since 1980.
I've tried being me. I've tried being the new, improved me. And I've tried just not giving a damn one way or the other. I've tried approaching girls, and I've decided to let them approach me. And nothing has ever "worked" for me. So now I'm a realist. And what girl would even give exact change to a guy who's anxious, quiet, pale, balding, overweight, and depressed? A guy who is all too easy to just ignore until he fades away?
On top of that I have no (cell) phone, no social life, and no motor car. And I don't have many popular interests, either. Most people associate an interest in birdwatching with old people just waiting around to die. And what girl can I talk to about things like falconry or World War II? Should I talk about things she doesn't understand, like jesses and Dutch hoods, or should I talk about something that's sure to repulse her right away, like Nazis? Or maybe I could mention that I recently read the memoirs of the guy who was Kommandant at Auschwitz? And I guess telling her that I sort of feel sorry for the guy wouldn't score me any points either....
And for as long as I can remember I've been afraid of not being good enough for anything or anyone. And, strangely enough, my life seems to just be one long line of times I just wasn't good enough, or when something I created just wasn't good enough. Whether it was baseball tryouts, a friend's band, a poetry contest, or a girl I had more than a passing interest in, it seems like nothing I've done has ever been good enough. And that makes it rather difficult to just shrug things off and tell yourself that your inferiorities are all in your head.
So I have a very developed sense of humor that sometimes gets me into trouble. And that's a good thing. Because if I didn't learn how to laugh, I would have died years ago.
That should be my official slogan. Reviled by Women Since 1980.
I've tried being me. I've tried being the new, improved me. And I've tried just not giving a damn one way or the other. I've tried approaching girls, and I've decided to let them approach me. And nothing has ever "worked" for me. So now I'm a realist. And what girl would even give exact change to a guy who's anxious, quiet, pale, balding, overweight, and depressed? A guy who is all too easy to just ignore until he fades away?
On top of that I have no (cell) phone, no social life, and no motor car. And I don't have many popular interests, either. Most people associate an interest in birdwatching with old people just waiting around to die. And what girl can I talk to about things like falconry or World War II? Should I talk about things she doesn't understand, like jesses and Dutch hoods, or should I talk about something that's sure to repulse her right away, like Nazis? Or maybe I could mention that I recently read the memoirs of the guy who was Kommandant at Auschwitz? And I guess telling her that I sort of feel sorry for the guy wouldn't score me any points either....
And for as long as I can remember I've been afraid of not being good enough for anything or anyone. And, strangely enough, my life seems to just be one long line of times I just wasn't good enough, or when something I created just wasn't good enough. Whether it was baseball tryouts, a friend's band, a poetry contest, or a girl I had more than a passing interest in, it seems like nothing I've done has ever been good enough. And that makes it rather difficult to just shrug things off and tell yourself that your inferiorities are all in your head.
So I have a very developed sense of humor that sometimes gets me into trouble. And that's a good thing. Because if I didn't learn how to laugh, I would have died years ago.
Elad
Banned
you should practice on the checkout girls at supermarkets, just buy your stuff and take the reciept, look at it and say "oh theres a number missing" when she says "which number" just say "yours ". now the wink is pivotal to your success because if you wink too hard it looks like you're being one of those dirty old men who want take her in the frozen food section, so you need to keep it light and quick with minimal face-muscle movement.
if you dont get the desired reaction just say looking into her eyes "i'll see you in the carpark after work" but make sure its dark outside so she knows its serious.
". now the wink is pivotal to your success because if you wink too hard it looks like you're being one of those dirty old men who want take her in the frozen food section, so you need to keep it light and quick with minimal face-muscle movement.if you dont get the desired reaction just say looking into her eyes "i'll see you in the carpark after work" but make sure its dark outside so she knows its serious.
Elad
Banned
for some reason while I was reading this I couldnt help but think of a sex filled, std ridden version of high school musical
I think repulsed is strong word to use, and social anxiety is on an entirely case by case basis across a huge spectrum.
If you're going to get knocked back with SA the chances are you would have without it, and vice-versa.
I think the closest I've ever come to approaching a woman (and I didn't know her at all!) was when I was dared to do so (not directly) in some thread on another SA website. She started giggling after I made a silly comment about the weather; but a few seconds later I made an excuse that I had to go. Well I did, after all, accomplish my dare by this point, so I didn't see any point in torturing myself further by continuing talking to her.
Elad
Banned
Well yeah the operative word in that was old like really really old, and I was talking more about bent over those reach in cold bins like straight down the isles, you know? but guess freezer works too, lol this is going wayyy off topic now.
Felgen
Well-known member
How often do you see a 40 year old virgin without some sort of anxiety? To approach a random girl without beeing "creepy" (a very overused word, but that's another story), you have to be confident and charming.
Elad
Banned
Just about any guy who goes up to a random girl like that is being somewhat creepy, unless the girl is is on the same wavelength only interested in a quick ****.
The only way to avoid being creepy is build up some kind of rapport beforehand.
edit: depends heavily on the situational norms i.e at a club/bar versus someone at work
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Elad
Banned
yeah I think its been decided that "hey baby I can keep it up in the back freezer
" has great potential as a pickup line. ::da_illest101
Well-known member
The only time i ever had a gf was because she approached me first. I never approached anyone in my life and i doubt that will ever happen. I already got approached by random girl but i turn them down because they weren't my type but i was flatter and treated them with respect.
The best way to learn about approaching girls is to write it on youtube, i'm sure you can find some good helpful videos, combine what u feel comfortable doing and put your flavor on it
The best way to learn about approaching girls is to write it on youtube, i'm sure you can find some good helpful videos, combine what u feel comfortable doing and put your flavor on it
Hey, that's what i did when I was dared to do so, but it was only because I was given a 24 hour deadline and I nearly ran out of time.:
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