The best way to approach Girls


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Thi s is a question for the ladies but fellas feel free to putyour opinion in too. Generally if I like a girl I like to get on with letting her know. Can't be bothered playing games so Id ask her out pretty quickly.

How do you like to be approached by guys? Has occurred to me that been direct could come across as needy and creepy
I don't know. The last time I talked to a girl (also the last time I talked to a living thing!) was about a week ago. And she was my sister.:rolleyes:

But seriously, I don't approach girls normally. And when they approach me, I usually act like an a-hole by either blanking them completely or by being sarcastic.


From my encounters, I just get some deep ass stares. I walked by some girl and sue did a whole 180 on me.


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Guys have to make the first move because the society says it should be that way--and because young men outnumber young women. On the other hand, if a woman never ever makes the first movie herself, she has no reason whatsoever to bitch about there beeing no decent men.

Ranting about something that's unfair, isn't going to change it. A society that conforms to your personal needs is a bit far-fetched, We have to accept the society for what it is if we want to live in it.


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Fair enough. However, a woman may do the initiating, but this does not guarantee that the men she approaches are going to be decent. That's happened to me before. That or the guy was too intimidated and would then proceed to avoid me.

This happens to men all the time. It's not something that's exclusive for girls that make the first move.
I don't care if some girls won't ever make the first move, because that's their loss. I won't ever ask them out. As long as I have SA, that is.


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Maybe the reason for that men has to make the first move, is that men from the start has been the hunters and women the collectors. It is in our brain that it is this way, and these things takes thousands of years or even more to change. Not saying that some women dont want to be the hunters but in general I think that could be the reason.


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I'm not sure if this applies to all girls but, the best way to approach me is to walk up to me and say hi. I'm very shy, but pretty friendly so if you initiate a conversation, I'll talk to you. Normally when I try to initiate conversatitions with people, it just sort of dies and get awkward, so I've shy'd away from approaching others, even though I shouldn't.

I don't really like the direct method, because I need to know someone first, before I can feel comfortable going out on a date with them. I realize you can get to know someone on the date, but often people don't really act like themselves on dates, or I may feel too much pressure to impress.

Plus, if a guy just approaches me, without knowing anything about me, I feel this is too look-based. I went to a friend's birthday party at a club, and when you go to the club, you generally are looking your best. So when this guy at the party was all "oh you're so hot, you should give me your phone number" I felt weird. I'm not a person who is confident in my looks, so then I'd feel I'd always have to be keeping up apperances. What if he saw me without makeup and thought I was ugly? Why is he only basing his judgement on looks? I could be the meanest girl in the world, or a total weirdo...

Another good method to meet girls is through mutual friends. Seriously. For some it might be weird to date a friend's friend, but seriously the opening is given to you. Just ask them to hangout, or get your friend to invite them out with you. If your friend was a good friend they'd be wing-man(or woman) to you. lol.

I think maybe girls don't ask out guys because it's an ego thing? You never know if a guy is going to feel that it's a blow to their masculinity or get a big head. Whereas, girls expect to get asked out so it's not a blow to their feminine nature or whatever, and often (but not always) they won't be big-headed about it. Most girls have a body image issue, so they don't take rejection well, seeing it as a personal blow. Or they may see it as not "feminine", or that it might be interpreted in a bad way. What many girls don't realize is that guys also have self-esteem problems. Men are supposed to be the "confident" ones, so girls don't expect them to experience anxiety over asking girls out or whatever. So they think men will have an easier time asking out girls, or dealing with rejection, even if that's not the case. Uh, that's just what I think though...
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My question is this: for those men who would prefer that a woman make the first move because they themselves are too shy or intimidated to do the approaching, would they actually give the woman a chance once she made the first move or would they shy away and avoid her? There is only so much chasing that a person can do before the interrest is lost and that applies to both men and women.

It's a confidence thing. For me anyway. I'm useless at reading people's body language, so I literally have to be hit over the head with a plank of wood for me to realize someone likes me. So if a girl approached me first I would know she is interested, which would make me way more relaxed and confident. So I certainly wouldn't shy away after that.


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It doesn't have to be that way, but it's true that some people out there will think less of a woman for being the one to initiate contact. Some guys might think that a woman is easy or a "slut" if she approached him, and others might be turned off because they're the ones who want to do the chasing and they don't like the role reversal.

If I may add...some women feel threatened by another woman who freely approaches men. The women who want to be chased/approached may think their chances of finding a decent partner are lessened if another woman/women were to do the chasing. When a woman makes the first move on a man, other women might figure that she's got good reasons to do so, and since they themselves may never approach the guy, they may feel like they're being cheated of a good opportunity. So the bolder woman becomes the "slut", the rumors start flying etcetera etcetera....Not all women are going to be like this, but this reaction is not uncommon.

Yikes, I can't believe this stigma is still around to this degree. It's completely unnecessary.

My question is this: for those men who would prefer that a woman make the first move because they themselves are too shy or intimidated to do the approaching, would they actually give the woman a chance once she made the first move or would they shy away and avoid her? There is only so much chasing that a person can do before the interrest is lost and that applies to both men and women.

I wouldn't prefer women to be the first move makers, I'd just prefer it to be just as much a done thing as men approaching women. I can't get my head around why that can't be the case.

And yes, I wouldn't shy away for the same reasons as


Well-known member
If a guy likes me, id rather he just tell me straight away cos maybe i actually liked him too?

I don't like to be messed about when it comes to guys, if i have feelings for someone i pretty much make it clear and don't give up LOL (which is a problem for me) until they say 'I will never ever wanna be with you' haha


Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
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lol Yeah, I've been called a "whore" for being the one who did the approaching. This was done by both the guy I approached and by others. Then the guys who are douche bags feel confident enough to approach me because they all heard that I was a slut and they thought I'd put out. Then the girls get mad because the guys are talking to me and those guys get mad because I don't sleep with them. I once slipped a guy my phone number and it was like a scandal. Ah! Good times! lol
I consider this proof of that fact that men and women both suck! :D