Pretending to be Happy

[Steppen-Wolf]

Shallow solutions won't fix deep issues.

That being said, allowing yourself to submerge in your depression never helps. I think it's best to try and find little ways to uplift our spirits even in small measures than just being fake.

 

[gustavofring]

Pretending to be happy, no.

What I learned:
Not identifying with thoughts and accepting the moment, whatever situation it is, instead of resisting to it. That's not pretending, it's a shift in conciousness that deepens you. However if you feel depressed, don't resist it but allow the unhappy thoughts and emotions to be there. if you don't mind being unhappy, what happens with the unhappiness?

 

[Agent_Violet]

It's not so much pretending to be happy as it is not dwelling on your depression or how horrible you feel.the more you sit and write depressing poetry,listen to complaint rock or depressed sad songs,the more you watch horribly tragic movies,etc...the more depressed you'll find yourself.

Surrounding yourself in happy things goes a long way to easing the symptoms of depression.It doesn't cure it,obviously,but it helps.

 

[BlackPuma]

What a load of crap! Yeah, pretending to be happy will cure a chemical imbalance in your brain and if I pretend to be a millionaire I will suddenly have all the money I will ever need!

I disagree with the notion that 'pretending' to be happy will actually make the person in question happy. A positive attitude, however, could in the long run make someone happier. And when I say positive I mean preventing one's self from dwelling too deep in negative thoughts, not necessarily being happy-go-lucky.

The body is already capable of generating the chemicals needed for being happy, while being rich requires external items. It could very well be that the person giving the advice was using the wrong words. Externally ''pretending'' and ''intentionally enforcing mannerisms to alter mental reflex'' can look similar.

The exact wording might not have been great, but the idea behind it isn't entirely flawed.

 

[chibiXphantom]

pretending can help to an extent. if you try to be happy and positive it can shift your focus from the negative for a while

 

[MikeyC]

if I pretend to be a millionaire I will suddenly have all the money I will ever need!

Here I am putting in lotto like a sucker when I could just pretend to be a millionaire.

All-you-can-eat lobster on me, SPW! :applause:

 

[BlackPuma]

All-you-can-eat lobster on me, SPW! :applause:

Whoho, my friend, you've just single handedly destroyed lobsterkind as they know it. Tonight, we dine!

 

[InvisaLady]

If it works for you and you actually care about fooling others just so they are happy, then more power to you.
I've known people who's depression was caused by nothing more than that chemical imbalance and the only thing that worked was the meds. No amount of wishing to be happy or pretending would ever help them.
Me? I've tried pretending. It did not do jack Woke up every morning Still the same me. In fact I got angry at people while pretending to be happy. Why? because it was just for their sake. Temporary pleasures can take your mind off it for the moment, but after that reality floods back in.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Pretending to be happy, no.

What I learned:
Not identifying with thoughts and accepting the moment, whatever situation it is, instead of resisting to it. That's not pretending, it's a shift in conciousness that deepens you. However if you feel depressed, don't resist it but allow the unhappy thoughts and emotions to be there. if you don't mind being unhappy, what happens with the unhappiness?

This is what I have read as well, and I do find it to be helpful. In particular it helped me overcome my self-injury. What I need to gain control over are my mood swings to have more balanced emotions. There are better ways to cope with our bad feelings. They don't have to have total control. But it takes constant practice and that can be very tiring. Still, little changes can be made that can improve our low moods even if they don't completely cure them, and they are worth the effort. Takes more than just "pretending to be happy" of course.

 

[gustavofring]

Mood swings can come and go sporadicaly, and may overtake you completely and ruin your day. I myself know pretty much what sets off my more extreme mood swings (bad diet, too much sugar, caffeine, lack of sleep). If I have that under control however, mood swings can become more easily to dissolve with the Mindfulness approach. It takes practice, but it becomes easier the more I practice it and my mood seems to balance out a lot more.

Accepting and making peace with the moment is hard when you have a streaming mind that focusses on the negatives, but it's possible. I like the comparison of a muddy pool. If you wait a bit and don't mess around with it, the mud sinks and the water clears.

 

[truffleshuffle]

Its hard to pretend to be happy unless your around people that don;t pay that much attention because when Im pretending to be happy My mood still shows on my face no matter what. Maybe its becasue even though I am pretending I know its a lie and I know I am feeling horrible inside and it shows on my face.

 

[laure15]

I look so fake when I pretend to be happy; people see right through it and know something's off. My lips smile but my eyes don't. Moreover, I become more depressed after faking happiness. It feels like I'm forcing myself to do something I don't want to do.

 

[Sora]

pretending will never fix anything, believing will.

 

[LostNAlone]

i have been pretending to be happy for about 3 years now and i look back now and see that i have wasted my time on pretending...

 

[Duzmiu]

with family ive been pretending to be happy for 2 and a half years now and i dont feel any better but i havent had to share how im feeling which is what i prefer all tho ive had a few "deep" conversations with my dad after a few drinks and im starting to think he knows.
when it comes to my family im considered the f**k up so i feel somewhat of an outcast in my own home, my mother and sister always talk and share things with each other but i dont remember a time when ive ever done that with my family or when they have shown any interest in my life. only sort of communication i get from them is complaints when i refuse to be there slave or that i dont work as they dont know ive been declared unfit to work.

so to sum it up, no i dont think it does help in the long run but it does make you feel better for a short while if you like to avoid showing your emotions

 

[BlueDays]

I have been pretending to be "Happy" in situations that warrant it for many years now, and the pretending has certainly not made me anymore happy.
It is quite exhusting to do, I find I can only do for so many hours a day.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I like the comparison of a muddy pool. If you wait a bit and don't mess around with it, the mud sinks and the water clears.

I like that. Just have to wait and not do anything stupid. 'Cause the bad feelings do go away, if only for a while. Thanks for sharing

 

[dean01]

A shallow person said to me:

"If you just pretend to be happy it will cure depression"


opinions?

there is some truth in that pretending to be happy for a period of time can train the mind to start to think more positivley, the whole concept of cbt is based on this. but when were depressed we dont care about anything, so its a bit of a joke really