Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
That's a good observation actually, why indeed. Maybe it's a community thing. People get frustrated, and eventually they get mad, they rage for a while, disappear and after they've cooled down they come back and repeat the process.
Flanscho
Well-known member
It's 2 am now. I arrived at my family around 12 hours ago, and will stay here friday. Half an hour ago, I dreamed that I was hunted, by some shadow non-human beings, that made their way into this room right through the wall. They wanted to kill me and others, and I knew I had no chance. I tried to flee anyway, frantically and in panic. Somehow I managed to open a door, rushed through, threw it shut after me, wondered if I could lock it, holding it tight, expecting them to throw it open any second. A few seconds later I slowly awake, finding myself in the bathroom of my families flat, naked, with the beds blanket next to me on the tiles, heart racing, legs shaking. I slowly regain my senses, the logical part of my brain telling the one still half asleep, that it's quite unlikely, that shadow monster killers are in the flat. I catiously make my way back into the room, hoping that noone heard me, that I didn't scream during the nightmare, and having a bad conscience, since my family tries their best to make me feel comfortable.
MikeyC
Well-known member
They can only take my manliness and sexiness so much.
this_portrait
Well-known member
Tonight's class went surprisingly well. I had fun, and I ended up talking to one of my classmates a bit during the break. Hopefully the rest of the quarter turns out great.
Beatmetrics
Well-known member
Disconnecting - God never said we HAVE to marry. God never said we HAVE to find someone to be compatible with. In the rather whole picture we just have to serve him and that's it. None of this HAVE to do anything other than that mainly. Don't understand why i'm making it a big deal then. Selfishness is all i can think of.
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Flanscho
Well-known member
Still at my family. They are very friendly and everything. But I worry about them. For example, my sister and mother smoke. Hearing my sister wake up to her smokers caugh pains me a lot. My mother is coughing too constantly. She said it already got better, but how do I know? She smoked her entire life. And... how many... 95% or 85% of all people who are diagnosed with lung cancer are dead one or two years later. But she smoked all her life, so it would be cruel to keep nagging at the few time we meet each year.
But my sister? She ain't that old. Yesterday I helped her carry up some stuff, and just seeing by coincidence three packs of cigarettes in her bag makes me cringe. Why? She could be dead within a year. Not to mention she is also extremely overweight. Earlier this year, she went to some kind of hospital for three months, where they tried to teach her to take care of her body and what she eats. It didn't help at all. She is not just a bit curvy, but really really overweight. Combine that with smoking, and I can count the number of years she has before she dies on one hand.
But she is also very sensitive. As soo as I bring up anything like this, she is immediately hurt. I don't really care that much about other people, whether they weight too much or smoke. It's their business. But when I stand at my sisters grave, can I really say "yes, I did all I could". Is her dying worth the price of not hurting her feelings?
I'm slightly overweight myself. Combine an office job with a broken thyroid gland. But I thought last year "I can't talk to my sister about this if I'm not a good example to her". So last year, I stopped buying the ticket for using the public transportation, and bought a bike instead. I bike now about 15 miles a day. And I improved my diet a bit. And started losing weight. It works pretty well. I can still eat some chocolate here or a pizza there, but I'm slowly losing weight. I'm soon back to a bmi of 25.
Well, I'm here for a couple more days. I guess I will not mention this today and start nagging tomorrow or the day ater. I don't want her to remember me as the brother who always talks about annoying stuff. But she is my sister. I can't let herself smoke and eat to death without even trying to save her. Whether she dies at 40 or 80 is a ****ing difference of 40 years! Gah...
It just annoys me, when I sit here, and hear my mother say jokingly to my sister "let's go to the balcony and have a smoke, then we can cough toether, ha ha" and my sister replies with "good idea". It pains me. Each time I hear them cough and see them smoke, I just see them killing themselves, giving a **** about the feelings of the family.
I think that I have a responsibility regarding those I love. That's also one of the reasons I didn't commit suicide when I was younger and my depressions were more severe: I didn't want to hurt my family. But my sister and my mother don't care. Smoking is more important than the family. The grief and pain they cause with their addiction, illnesses and early death is a price they voluntarily pay.
Just yesterday a popular german entertained died at the age of 51: his overweight killed him. A few weeks earlier, another popular german died early: he was smoker. I don't get it. I don't expect my family to live very healthy. But I expect them not to kill themselves.
But my sister? She ain't that old. Yesterday I helped her carry up some stuff, and just seeing by coincidence three packs of cigarettes in her bag makes me cringe. Why? She could be dead within a year. Not to mention she is also extremely overweight. Earlier this year, she went to some kind of hospital for three months, where they tried to teach her to take care of her body and what she eats. It didn't help at all. She is not just a bit curvy, but really really overweight. Combine that with smoking, and I can count the number of years she has before she dies on one hand.
But she is also very sensitive. As soo as I bring up anything like this, she is immediately hurt. I don't really care that much about other people, whether they weight too much or smoke. It's their business. But when I stand at my sisters grave, can I really say "yes, I did all I could". Is her dying worth the price of not hurting her feelings?
I'm slightly overweight myself. Combine an office job with a broken thyroid gland. But I thought last year "I can't talk to my sister about this if I'm not a good example to her". So last year, I stopped buying the ticket for using the public transportation, and bought a bike instead. I bike now about 15 miles a day. And I improved my diet a bit. And started losing weight. It works pretty well. I can still eat some chocolate here or a pizza there, but I'm slowly losing weight. I'm soon back to a bmi of 25.
Well, I'm here for a couple more days. I guess I will not mention this today and start nagging tomorrow or the day ater. I don't want her to remember me as the brother who always talks about annoying stuff. But she is my sister. I can't let herself smoke and eat to death without even trying to save her. Whether she dies at 40 or 80 is a ****ing difference of 40 years! Gah...
It just annoys me, when I sit here, and hear my mother say jokingly to my sister "let's go to the balcony and have a smoke, then we can cough toether, ha ha" and my sister replies with "good idea". It pains me. Each time I hear them cough and see them smoke, I just see them killing themselves, giving a **** about the feelings of the family.
I think that I have a responsibility regarding those I love. That's also one of the reasons I didn't commit suicide when I was younger and my depressions were more severe: I didn't want to hurt my family. But my sister and my mother don't care. Smoking is more important than the family. The grief and pain they cause with their addiction, illnesses and early death is a price they voluntarily pay.
Just yesterday a popular german entertained died at the age of 51: his overweight killed him. A few weeks earlier, another popular german died early: he was smoker. I don't get it. I don't expect my family to live very healthy. But I expect them not to kill themselves.
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MikeyC
Well-known member
This sounds like she already realises her smoking is affecting her, but the addiction is too strong. She wants to give up, but doesn't have the willpower.
You can't force her to stop, but you can tell her that you worry and you want her to stop. Then you can definitely say that you did all you could.
My parents are smokers and they cough a lot, too.
Starry
Well-known member
I'm addicted to FF XII... I keep staying up late playing it and missing out on sleep... I'm even dreaming of it... I don't actually care about progressing with the game... in fact, I find that irritating because of all the cut scenes... I just want to build up the characters...
Honda
Well-known member
I lost interest in life... I got not money, career, job, friends, companionship, sex and live with my family of losers and under-achievers... I think I dont want to live like this anymore but I find myself just stuck there without any exit... Its been more than three years and things are not getting any better rather worse...
Phoenixx
Well-known member
^ Who cares what they think. You're doing this for you, and you're doing a great job so far. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Plus, we here support you too.
planemo
Well-known member
No i suppose marriage is not compulsory, but i make a big deal of it too. it's like it an unwritten social rule which needs to be kept, even though it really doesn't. i'm struggling with the very basic rule of serving though. it's not that i don't want to, it's that my mind makes it difficult.
i'm the same only i've been stuck in this position for over 6 years...:
:Razzlecherry
Banned
I've always wanted to get into Final Fantasy. The only ones I played were FFX and FFXIiI. I didn't get far at all in FFX, but that was a long time ago. I got to the final boss of FFXIII, but couldn't defeat him, even after so many tries. I heard Final Fantasy VII was really good. You know what? Amazon, here I come!
U
user deleted
Guest
I'm happy. Managed to speak in today's seminar, and the tutor even gave me praise for my writing. Feeling good.
DeadmanWalking
Well-known member
MikeyC
Well-known member
Thanks, Phoenixx.^ Who cares what they think. You're doing this for you, and you're doing a great job so far. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Plus, we here support you too.
Awesome!
