So I left home a little earlier before work to get some petrol on the way. I put some in my car, only to then find out that I left my wallet at home. I had to call my brother to get it and drive to the petrol station to give it to me. I was lucky he was even home in the first place.
I know I shouldn't worry about it, as these things happen (even the guy working at the petrol station said that), but I can't help but feel stupid about it. I'm dwelling on this mistake, and have done for the past 4 hours. I need to get over it but my mind won't let me. Stupid thing.
I don't understand why I convince myself it is so difficult to act, well rationally. Today was the second day of orientation, I wake up early, get all ready to go, walk down to the bus station, get on the shuttle. I was the only one on the shuttle, unfortunately, bus driver asked where to drop me off and I was okay. Being the only one I had no one to follow to the check in though, and I didn't know where to do. There were no signs anywhere telling me where to go. I saw people walking, tried to follow them, but I was pretty sure there were to check-ins - one for commuters, and one for residents. Couldn't find the one for commuters. At first I just walked around trying to find it on my own - that's just me not wanting to admit I can't figure it out on my own. Then once I decide I can't, it seems logical to ask one of the many, many people around there to help new students. Instead I keep looking on my own, hoping to find someone I can follow, until I finally just go home.
It's not like I'm incapable of asking a simple question, it's an honest question and even if it would be a stupid one (which it probably isn't) it would have been over in 30 seconds. Am I so prideful I can't admit I didn't know something? I always act like I know where I'm going, maybe they saw me and by asking for help they would have thought me stupid for waiting so long to ask. Or maybe I'm embarrassed that I took so long to ask and think they would think the same. Either way it's super pathetic and now I have make up some training I missed by not being there right now. I'm going to call for jobs today at least now that I'm home so I don't feel like a total loser.
I don't understand why I convince myself it is so difficult to act, well rationally. Today was the second day of orientation, I wake up early, get all ready to go, walk down to the bus station, get on the shuttle. I was the only one on the shuttle, unfortunately, bus driver asked where to drop me off and I was okay. Being the only one I had no one to follow to the check in though, and I didn't know where to do. There were no signs anywhere telling me where to go. I saw people walking, tried to follow them, but I was pretty sure there were to check-ins - one for commuters, and one for residents. Couldn't find the one for commuters. At first I just walked around trying to find it on my own - that's just me not wanting to admit I can't figure it out on my own. Then once I decide I can't, it seems logical to ask one of the many, many people around there to help new students. Instead I keep looking on my own, hoping to find someone I can follow, until I finally just go home.
It's not like I'm incapable of asking a simple question, it's an honest question and even if it would be a stupid one (which it probably isn't) it would have been over in 30 seconds. Am I so prideful I can't admit I didn't know something? I always act like I know where I'm going, maybe they saw me and by asking for help they would have thought me stupid for waiting so long to ask. Or maybe I'm embarrassed that I took so long to ask and think they would think the same. Either way it's super pathetic and now I have make up some training I missed by not being there right now. I'm going to call for jobs today at least now that I'm home so I don't feel like a total loser.
It could have been a mixture of those things. I think pride in particular plays a big part in the face of strong uncertainty/embarrassment. Your gut feeling says something, and your mind simply goes ''..Nope, that's not true.''. Like a weird internal struggle.
It's not even so much a flaw with you personally, I think many here can testify that when we're in danger of exposing ourselves negatively, we go into denial to try preserve pride. Tricking ourselves into thinking that we have to be more capable then we in reality need to be. I did. Many, many times.
Try again again next time. And if you can't, do it the time after that. Ect.
Fed up and sick of this world we live in. People are all so obsessed with money and possessions, it makes me sick. Read a news article earlier which just confirmed basically what I already knew, that there are researchers and doctors who are making great strides in things like cancer, which would be relatively cheap for patients, but because the drug companies make so much money off of people's continual false hope no-one is willing to back them and help their research. Sound's like the kind of big business conspiracy you might read in a book or see in a film, but it's reality unfortunately.
Finally out of the stone age and back online! Already started looking for a part-time job and (hopefully) will be starting school part-time in a few weeks.
I don't understand why I convince myself it is so difficult to act, well rationally. Today was the second day of orientation, I wake up early, get all ready to go, walk down to the bus station, get on the shuttle. I was the only one on the shuttle, unfortunately, bus driver asked where to drop me off and I was okay. Being the only one I had no one to follow to the check in though, and I didn't know where to do. There were no signs anywhere telling me where to go. I saw people walking, tried to follow them, but I was pretty sure there were to check-ins - one for commuters, and one for residents. Couldn't find the one for commuters. At first I just walked around trying to find it on my own - that's just me not wanting to admit I can't figure it out on my own. Then once I decide I can't, it seems logical to ask one of the many, many people around there to help new students. Instead I keep looking on my own, hoping to find someone I can follow, until I finally just go home.
It's not like I'm incapable of asking a simple question, it's an honest question and even if it would be a stupid one (which it probably isn't) it would have been over in 30 seconds. Am I so prideful I can't admit I didn't know something? I always act like I know where I'm going, maybe they saw me and by asking for help they would have thought me stupid for waiting so long to ask. Or maybe I'm embarrassed that I took so long to ask and think they would think the same. Either way it's super pathetic and now I have make up some training I missed by not being there right now. I'm going to call for jobs today at least now that I'm home so I don't feel like a total loser.
I'm sorry, man. Asking for help is a last resort for me, too. I know what that's all about. Good luck in your job hunting.
Fed up and sick of this world we live in. People are all so obsessed with money and possessions, it makes me sick. Read a news article earlier which just confirmed basically what I already knew, that there are researchers and doctors who are making great strides in things like cancer, which would be relatively cheap for patients, but because the drug companies make so much money off of people's continual false hope no-one is willing to back them and help their research. Sound's like the kind of big business conspiracy you might read in a book or see in a film, but it's reality unfortunately.
I remember reading about that, too. It's really awful that money comes before everything, especially in this case when lives are at risk. It's terrible.
Finally out of the stone age and back online! Already started looking for a part-time job and (hopefully) will be starting school part-time in a few weeks.
Haven't seen you in a while! Hope you're doing well. Sounds like you are. 🙂
So I left home a little earlier before work to get some petrol on the way. I put some in my car, only to then find out that I left my wallet at home. I had to call my brother to get it and drive to the petrol station to give it to me. I was lucky he was even home in the first place.
I know I shouldn't worry about it, as these things happen (even the guy working at the petrol station said that), but I can't help but feel stupid about it. I'm dwelling on this mistake, and have done for the past 4 hours. I need to get over it but my mind won't let me. Stupid thing.
Its okay Mikey, you're not stupid for doing this. Dwelling over a simple mistake is something I do a lot too. Maybe some distraction can help?
Do you have laundry bags in your country? They are great for protecting delicate things from being damaged by the washing machine's movement.
Oooh, thanks for the tip 😀 I'll look out for them. I used a pillow-case. They've come out okay, but let's hope the same can be said for the washing machine haha.
Just got all done giving my kitten a bath and drying her off. I can't wait for the ringworm on her to be gone so I don't have to confine her and give her baths so much. Oh, and I'm getting tired of having to clean up everything she touched with bleach.
My driving instructor who taught me how to drive when I was 18/19 died a few months ago. Apparently he had a heart attack on a train. Too bad. He was a cool guy, and the man 100% responsible for getting me on the road.
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