how ironic. i feel more myself when i'm depressed. there are times when i become sociable and find that i have the potential to fit in. but every time i look back, i see a different person. it also seems like i'm more creative during my down times.
maybe the reason why i keep holding on to the darkness inside me is that it gives me an identity. "i'm not everybody else; i'm not generic." maybe it gives me a sense of superiority and pride that i understand better than others because i know pain and sorrow- that i am more sensitive than happy people; or that i have depth while the rest of them are shallow. it's a continuous battle between myself and the world, and of course, i can't afford to lose. an unnecessary war that i have unconsciously started. maybe the only way i can be completely happy is if i learn to stop this war.
"Stop being so controlling" he grinds his teeth because of frustration. "And let me start loving you the best way I know how, damn it!" .... he walks away...
I wonder why everyone I talk to calls bull when I say I'm atracted to personality and looks come later. I know I'm not weird for that, but the comments sometimes get to me a little, you know?
I wonder why everyone I talk to calls bull when I say I'm atrracted to personality and looks come later. I know I'm not weird for that, but the comments sometimes get to me a little, you know?
Yeah, I've told people this and they don't seem to believe me.
I mean, I have been attracted to a guy's looks just for that - his looks. But what is there to sustain the relationship if it's built on looks? Unless of course he has looks AND a great personality... 😀 But what someone finds attractive in another person's personality varies, soooooo...
Far more often I have been attracted to guys because of their personality, and that is no lie. Often an "average" (or whatever) guy becomes better-looking to me when I get to know him and like his personality.
Show me the physically hottest guy in the world with a rotten or boring personality. No thank you. The attraction would be extinguished.
I wonder why everyone I talk to calls bull when I say I'm atracted to personality and looks come later. I know I'm not weird for that, but the comments sometimes get to me a little, you know?
Yeah, I've told people this and they don't seem to believe me.
I mean, I have been attracted to a guy's looks just for that - his looks. But what is there to sustain the relationship if it's built on looks? Unless of course he has looks AND a great personality... 😀 But what someone finds attractive in another person's personality varies, soooooo...
Far more often I have been attracted to guys because of their personality, and that is no lie. Often an "average" (or whatever) guy becomes better-looking to me when I get to know him and like his personality.
Show me the physically hottest guy in the world with a rotten or boring personality. No thank you. The attraction would be extinguished.
my theory...
because if women were attracted to men because of their personality, then men wouldn't have an excuse to fall back on when they are afraid to put themselves out there and risk rejection
whereas, if it's about appearance, men can just say "ah, I'm not good looking, women wouldn't want me anyway" and they can shrug it off and look macho and not have to admit that they're afraid of rejection
so they've come up with this story to protect themselves and save face
Looks should never be the sole basis of a relationship. But that said, I do think sometimes that even if you are compatible in personality, if there's no physical attraction... the relationship perhaps will not work very well. You need to be physically attracted to somebody otherwise there's surely no difference between a friend and a romantic partner?
Having said that, I do think that you can grow to like somebody's appearance the more you get to know their personality. I wasn't at all attracted to my past lovers when I first met them but by the end I thought they were the sexiest guys in the world!
These things take time though. Something like online dating won't allow this to happen because there is too much pressure straight away on the idea that you are looking to see if each other is compatible with you.
My ideal relationship is one which starts with platonic friendship that turns into mutual love.
So angry I just up and destroyed my wireless mouse. I don't even know why I did it. Somedays I start off in the morning feeling great and as the day wind down I feel more and more useless.
Thanks to this I have to use my old wired piece of crap optical mouse.
Looks should never be the sole basis of a relationship. But that said, I do think sometimes that even if you are compatible in personality, if there's no physical attraction... the relationship perhaps will not work very well. You need to be physically attracted to somebody otherwise there's surely no difference between a friend and a romantic partner?
I agree on this. The problem comes when I mention that (in my case) physical attraction comes after I know the person long enough and in depth, and I like their personality. If I don't like someone's personality, they aren't good looking in my eyes. Nobody but my close friends believe me.
If I say "to me, personality comes first. I don't mind looks to much" I'm countered with "yes, you do". I hate it.
^ mmmmm my personality gets them interested - at least for a short while - my manners and stimulating conversation piques an interest . My lack of sex appeal and faltering social standing (as well as shyness/anxiety etc) loses them . Why stick around when you can do better.
I never get called good looking/cute etc.... translation - plain, boring, nothing special, average, mediocre - 'nice personality' etc.
Why do all of those fun/boring/give-you-something-to-do threads have to disappear? I don't want to go looking for them. I'm talking about "what are you eating?" and "what was the last thing you bought?" and "post a random internet picture" and all those. Who wants to go find them and bump them up for me?
My ideal relationship is one which starts with platonic friendship that turns into mutual love.
I thoroughly agree with this. Love is friendship caught on fire.
There have been guys I've known that have been quite obviously very attractive, but I didn't feel any sort of draw in the slightest towards them. While I will note and appreciate an attractive person, it's a whole different game for me to actually be attracted to them. It's so much more than mere physical looks. It's such a deeper vibe entirely.
There have been guys I've known that have been quite obviously very attractive, but I didn't feel any sort of draw towards them. While I will note and appreciate an attractive person, it's a whole different game for me to actually be attracted to them. It's so much more than mere physical looks. It's such a deeper vibe entirely.
Absolutely. I can appreciate a hot girl, too, but I have known a few hot girls with cold personalities and that ruins everything, so there's always more than looks. I don't want to be shallow but looks do play a part, as much as I wouldn't want them to.
My ex was a friend that turned into a relationship. That was eventually a really bad move, so forgive me if I don't always think that friends to relationship is the best option. :😛:
Why do all of those fun/boring/give-you-something-to-do threads have to disappear? I don't want to go looking for them. I'm talking about "what are you eating?" and "what was the last thing you bought?" and "post a random internet picture" and all those. Who wants to go find them and bump them up for me?
Absolutely. I can appreciate a hot girl, too, but I have known a few hot girls with cold personalities and that ruins everything, so there's always more than looks. I don't want to be shallow but looks do play a part, as much as I wouldn't want them to.
My ex was a friend that turned into a relationship. That was eventually a really bad move, so forgive me if I don't always think that friends to relationship is the best option. :😛:
I don't like appreciating hot girls - I know that they are out of my reach, so I try to remain as asexual as possible to stop myself from feeling inferior. Any girl that have the slightest bit of attraction to - either physically or otherwise isnt going to work out - I mean, they wont be interested in me, so I dont bother.
But yeah - I dont think it really matters whether or not you become friends first. I think the less expectation the better. If it isnt gonna work out it just aint gonna.
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