Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[Phoenixx]

I just looked at my book/material list for the semester. Books alone, if all bought new, are over $700. That's not even including other supplies I need to buy, no idea what I need for my lab yet. I have never spent that much on books before, even new. Last year at uni I had to buy most of my books new and it really only cost around $400. This last semester at community college I spent around $250 I believe, but mostly bought used and didn't have as many courses to buy for. I seriously hope some of these books are not required, because it's such a buttload this year. :/ I am going to try my best to find everything I can used. *sigh* There goes pretty much all my financial aid money. Then I only have about $500 left in savings. I'm going to have to leech off my parents longer than I thought. I hate this. I just want to be independent already.

 

[MikeyC]

I just looked at my book/material list for the semester. Books alone, if all bought new, are over $700. That's not even including other supplies I need to buy, no idea what I need for my lab yet. I have never spent that much on books before, even new. Last year at uni I had to buy most of my books new and it really only cost around $400. This last semester at community college I spent around $250 I believe, but mostly bought used and didn't have as many courses to buy for. I seriously hope some of these books are not required, because it's such a buttload this year. :/ I am going to try my best to find everything I can used. *sigh* There goes pretty much all my financial aid money. Then I only have about $500 left in savings. I'm going to have to leech off my parents longer than I thought. I hate this. I just want to be independent already.

Boy, that is really expensive! I hope you can find all the books you need at a good price.

 

[Foxface]

I feel blah. If I was a robot my system structure would look something like this:

Error: Processor 1 (main), 2 corrupted, using processor 3, 4 (back up) in place for failed processors.
Data Restored: Success!
Scaning main drive (9.4 ZettaBytes) Bad sectors found: No. of Bad Sectors: 8,826,223
Affected Proccess Running:
Memory (Short Term)
Speech/Voice Recognition
Proccessers slow to respond (0x983576c080: Memory Overloaded!)
Testing Input Data: Error: 14425: Unable to process all informtation.

Current Processes Running:
Body Movement Control (OK!)
Brain Debug Menu (OK!) (Some errors recognized)
Drivers (OK!) (All drivers have been restored succesfully)
Inviromental Scan (OK!)
Inviromental Recognition (OK!)
Speech (OK!)
Voice Recognition (OK!)

SysInfo:
Brain Storage Capacity: 9.4 ZB (ZettaBytes) (4.3. EB (ExaBytes) used)
Memory: 1.2 PB (PedaBytes)
Brain Status: Stable!
Body fuctionality Status: Stable!
Dedicated Memory: 1.2 PB (PedaBytes) (Dedicated memory storage is shared with brain storage).
Kernel Version: 5.4.87-109 PAE

 

[superfluouslyme]

Most people have better communication skills than me. People can say what they actually mean to say properly, I can't. I leave stuff out accidently and write the wrong words, every post and someone obsesses over it and geets on my nerves. When I try to explain what happens, someone says I use it as an "excuse". I hate that word. To me, an excuse is a lie to give a reason for what you are doing or saying. I am not a lyer. I really do have a problem and I'm just trying to make everyone aware, that what I say isn't exactly what I'm trying to say as what they think I'm trying to say.

They could ask me to explain better to make sure, if they don't understand me. It happened in many posts on very forum I ever been on. I have an inibality to explain or express things (at least properly). I would never say something to intentionally hurt someone. But it just so happens, that I comment I made, read out by everyone else, says I did, when in my head, th way I wrote it was completly different. Hard to explain when I mean exactly in the last sentence.

I have the communication skills is a brain fried 8 year old. That is not meant to be offensive, and and I'm NOT between the lines referring to disabled pople or calling them brain fried. I know people will read that differently, that what I see it is. I say horse, everyone else with think I say monster.

My communication skills are that of an 8 year old, give or take. My brain is friend, becuase it works less then how it used to. My brain used to work a lot btter, but over the past 7-8 years, it has been degrading. I don't know why. By degrading, I mean less and sturggling more. I can't understand things, like I used to. I have too much brain fog, and too much stuff being misconnected in my brain, due to Brain Porcess Disorder. I thing I made up, meaning that the brain is overloaded and can not handle everything. Not enough memory and process spead to handle it anymore. I'm like an obsolete computer. Running too many of todays applications on 256 MB RAM and 1GH processor, or something like that.

I've never had trouble understanding the way you communicate, or at least as far as I know. Unfortunately, like Weirdy said, the Internet is a breeding ground for misconstrued comments. I know I've said some things on here that sounded perfectly fine to me but offended the recipient. They have let me know that I have offended them and I've apologized and explained myself and all was well. It doesn't have to be as difficult as a lot of us make it out to be sometimes. Just always keep in mind that 1) people read things differently, 2) words on a screen cannot convey accurate emotion, and 3) not everyone is going to get along with you. (By the way, I hope I wasn't the person who set this off. I was honestly concerned about what you said.)

I feel blah. If I was a robot my system structure would look something like this:

Error: Processor 1 (main), 2 corrupted, using processor 3, 4 (back up) in place for failed processors.
Data Restored: Success!
Scaning main drive (9.4 ZettaBytes) Bad sectors found: No. of Bad Sectors: 8,826,223
Affected Proccess Running:
Memory (Short Term)
Speech/Voice Recognition
Proccessers slow to respond (0x983576c080: Memory Overloaded!)
Testing Input Data: Error: 14425: Unable to process all informtation.

Current Processes Running:
Body Movement Control (OK!)
Brain Debug Menu (OK!) (Some errors recognized)
Drivers (OK!) (All drivers have been restored succesfully)
Inviromental Scan (OK!)
Inviromental Recognition (OK!)
Speech (OK!)
Voice Recognition (OK!)

SysInfo:
Brain Storage Capacity: 9.4 ZB (ZettaBytes) (4.3. EB (ExaBytes) used)
Memory: 1.2 PB (PedaBytes)
Brain Status: Stable!
Body fuctionality Status: Stable!
Dedicated Memory: 1.2 PB (PedaBytes) (Dedicated memory storage is shared with brain storage).
Kernel Version: 5.4.87-109 PAE

Okay, yeah, I don't understand any of that. I don't speak or understand computer.

 

[Nathália]

I understand. However; I don't think it is entirely your fault. Your words and statements are very clear, it is just what happens when you put yourself out there like that, people misinterpret things.

Then I get it because I can think that I made things clear to people or someone else can say the same thing as me, but people understand them and not I. I am bold and I mean it with good intentions. I think you are upset and because of that you are exaggerating because you definitely have more skills than someone who is 8 years old! This is the brain on anxiety and other mess.

I leave out things and words too and have to go back even after I have read over it many times. I practiced many years learning one language and I can't even recognize the words that I worked so hard to learn along with English, I stay in the dictionary. I am think it has something to do with isolation and stress. Sorry.

 

[Foxface]

(By the way, I hope I wasn't the person who set this off. I was honestly concerned about what you said

Nope, it wasn't you.

 

[KiaKaha]

Someone behaved awkwardly toward my presence today.
This has invoked a mountain of thoughts and conclusions that will churn away inside of me for months and months.
I wont forget this. Ever. And I am completely serious about that.

 

[MikeyC]

Someone behaved awkwardly toward my presence today.
This has invoked a mountain of thoughts and conclusions that will churn away inside of me for months and months.
I wont forget this. Ever. And I am completely serious about that.

What happened?

 

[Nathália]

I just looked at my book/material list for the semester. Books alone, if all bought new, are over $700. That's not even including other supplies I need to buy, no idea what I need for my lab yet. I have never spent that much on books before, even new. Last year at uni I had to buy most of my books new and it really only cost around $400. This last semester at community college I spent around $250 I believe, but mostly bought used and didn't have as many courses to buy for. I seriously hope some of these books are not required, because it's such a buttload this year. :/ I am going to try my best to find everything I can used. *sigh* There goes pretty much all my financial aid money. Then I only have about $500 left in savings. I'm going to have to leech off my parents longer than I thought. I hate this. I just want to be independent already.

*Fliches* School is ridiculous. How much longer do you have to go? You don't have to tell me if it is personal.

Someone behaved awkwardly toward my presence today.
This has invoked a mountain of thoughts and conclusions that will churn away inside of me for months and months.
I wont forget this. Ever. And I am completely serious about that.

What is up? What is this "awkward" thing? Sorry. :-(

 

[KiaKaha]

What happened?

Hard to explain. It always comes out wrong when I type it. It sounds...trivial.
I make people feel weird. They see me, dont know how to act - dont know how to 'take' me - visible discomfort, slight to medium contempt/uncertainty/wary toward my presence - makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.

Hurts my feelings and makes me feel worthless.

 

[MikeyC]

Hard to explain. It always comes out wrong when I type it. It sounds...trivial.
I make people feel weird. They see me, dont know how to act - dont know how to 'take' me - visible discomfort, slight to medium contempt/uncertainty.wary toward my presence - makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.

I hung around you and I thought you were fine. I wasn't uncomfortable or uncertain in any way. You were cool. I don't know what you're seeing but I didn't experience any of that.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Hard to explain. It always comes out wrong when I type it. It sounds...trivial.
I make people feel weird. They see me, dont know how to act - dont know how to 'take' me - visible discomfort, slight to medium contempt/uncertainty/wary toward my presence - makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.

Hurts my feelings and makes me feel worthless.

I hung around you and I thought you were fine. I wasn't uncomfortable or uncertain in any way. You were cool. I don't know what you're seeing but I didn't experience any of that.

My psycho doc told me after I said what I was feeling (tense, nervous, tied up); "I can't even tell your anxious or nervous."

 

[coyote]

Hard to explain. It always comes out wrong when I type it. It sounds...trivial.
I make people feel weird. They see me, dont know how to act - dont know how to 'take' me - visible discomfort, slight to medium contempt/uncertainty/wary toward my presence - makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.

Hurts my feelings and makes me feel worthless.

i'd really like to get you outfitted with a tiny camcorder like they put on those cats for that documentary, The Secret Lives of Cats

 

[Foxface]

Hard to explain. It always comes out wrong when I type it. It sounds...trivial.
I make people feel weird. They see me, dont know how to act - dont know how to 'take' me - visible discomfort, slight to medium contempt/uncertainty/wary toward my presence - makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.

Hurts my feelings and makes me feel worthless.

Same problem with me. Girls look at me and judge me by first look.

 

[Invisibleman]

Im worried about my mother. Shes been in the hospital with a bad infection in one of her breasts. She has almost 6 bottles of different pills she has to take and she also has the flu really bad. I really want to help her but obviously theres nothing I can do.

Also my dog got back from the vets and hes not good at all. Hes a golden retriever, most only live until about 10 or 12, hes 16 so hes cheating death by a mile. He has arthritus in all of his limbs and joints so he cant walk, hes completely deaf, his lungs are starting to go so he struggles to breathe,and now we find out hes going to lose his eyesight aswell. Hes in so much pain I can hardly bare to look at him:: *sigh*

 

[Phoenixx]

*Fliches* School is ridiculous. How much longer do you have to go? You don't have to tell me if it is personal.

^ I honestly don't know. Since I transferred, took almost a semester worth of college credits in high school, and am taking one extra course this year, I think I only have this semester and next semester to go...? I haven't bothered to look over the rest of my credits enough to find out.

Im worried about my mother. Shes been in the hospital with a bad infection in one of her breasts. She has almost 6 bottles of different pills she has to take and she also has the flu really bad. I really want to help her but obviously theres nothing I can do.

Also my dog got back from the vets and hes not good at all. Hes a golden retriever, most only live until about 10 or 12, hes 16 so hes cheating death by a mile. He has arthritus in all of his limbs and joints so he cant walk, hes completely deaf, his lungs are starting to go so he struggles to breathe,and now we find out hes going to lose his eyesight aswell. Hes in so much pain I can hardly bare to look at him:: *sigh*

^ I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. :: Hopefully she can make a speedy recovery and get well soon. I know it's even harder when you feel helpless. Hang in there.

Also really sorry to hear about your dog. :: Did he go to the vet for an illness? He sounds like he's suffering pretty bad, especially since he's well past his prime. I know it's hard to see him sick, and I know this is may be hard to hear, but I think it's time for him to be put out of that suffering.

 

[KiaKaha]

i'd really like to get you outfitted with a tiny camcorder like they put on those cats for that documentary, The Secret Lives of Cats

Yeah - now were talking. That is exactly what I need...
An objective perspective to show me what is real and what isn't. I need conclusions based on evidence without bias. That is the only way.

 

[hidwell]

Yeah - now were talking. That is exactly what I need...
An objective perspective to show me what is real and what isn't. I need conclusions based on evidence without bias. That is the only way.

Kia cam ::

 

[MikeyC]

Im worried about my mother. Shes been in the hospital with a bad infection in one of her breasts. She has almost 6 bottles of different pills she has to take and she also has the flu really bad. I really want to help her but obviously theres nothing I can do.

Also my dog got back from the vets and hes not good at all. Hes a golden retriever, most only live until about 10 or 12, hes 16 so hes cheating death by a mile. He has arthritus in all of his limbs and joints so he cant walk, hes completely deaf, his lungs are starting to go so he struggles to breathe,and now we find out hes going to lose his eyesight aswell. Hes in so much pain I can hardly bare to look at him:: *sigh*

None of this is any good. I'm really sorry, mate.

I will say that your dog has lived a very long life! He's had an insane innings and, if it comes to it, putting him down may be an option. We had to do that to our cat when she was 21 (although she was attacked, but still).

Yeah - now were talking. That is exactly what I need...
An objective perspective to show me what is real and what isn't. I need conclusions based on evidence without bias. That is the only way.

I actually wouldn't mind seeing this.

 

[KiaKaha]

Kia cam ::

You know...maybe that is not so terribly out of reach. I am getting an idea...

I cant figure this out on my own, but I cant relay and express properly what it is that is the trouble...

Kiacam.com... hmmmm..