Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Invisibleman said:
Well it was nice recovering from the train wreck I had last night while it lasted. I love that on top of this misery I then discover that my summer is now completely down the drain. I was going to go visit my sister at her house half way across the country. Every time we go its literally some of the greatest memories, its the only single thing in the ENTIRE year that I look forward to. I feel like such a whiny little brat but it can be so beneficial to me, its one of the few times that I actually get out of the house and I actually feel happy and start to enjoy life a little more. *sigh* f**k off.
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Sorry to hear that :( sounds like it meant a lot to you. Why can't you go anymore?
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
this_portrait said:
Back from the date I had tonight. It was pretty fun and the guy seems nice.
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That's great. :)
Invisibleman said:
Well it was nice recovering from the train wreck I had last night while it lasted. I love that on top of this misery I then discover that my summer is now completely down the drain. I was going to go visit my sister at her house half way across the country. Every time we go its literally some of the greatest memories, its the only single thing in the ENTIRE year that I look forward to. I feel like such a whiny little brat but it can be so beneficial to me, its one of the few times that I actually get out of the house and I actually feel happy and start to enjoy life a little more. *sigh* f**k off.
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I'm sorry, why can't you visit her anymore?
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
AsTimeBurns said:
Just the two miserably failed social experiences today.

Firstly a department drink at lunch time, in which i said literally nothing.
Secondly a birthday dinner for someone at work...3 hours of sitting awkwardly in silence pretending to read the menu or looking at things in the distance while people all around me converse.

I don't know why I bother to pretend that one day i'll be better at this, it really is ****ing pointless. It's not as if I'm suddenly just going to know what to say or know how to make smalltalk and make people laugh. I may as well just give up and face facts, at least then I won't be so disappointed when I fail every time.
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I'm sorry, I know very well how you feel. But these things happen every now and then. I'm sure it can get better and the only way is to keep trying and learn from your mistakes.
crazypants said:
I had my first appointment with my new therapist today. First time I've addressed my social anxiety in all my 42 years instead of pretending it wasn't happening. It was a great experience, and I think I'm really going to like her.

And here is what pisses me off about this:

The only reason I'm able to go to therapy right now is that I'm on free state run insurance because I'm unemployed and have no income. That means free service across the board = no copays, free meds, etc.

If I had a job, I'd be getting hundreds of dollars a month taken out of my paycheck just for the privilege of being able to pay another $20-50 co-pay for a lousy 12 therapy visits per year, or just a small flat discount off therapy visits, which I would have to pay upfront and be reimbursed for, or some other useless benefit.

I'm trying hard to get a job right now, but let's face it, when I get a job, my therapy will end because I won't be able to afford to continue. I would gladly pay a lot more in taxes if we could all have this kind of healthcare. It's so disheartening.

One of many reasons this country is wacked.
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I'm glad the appointment went well.
Oh I'm sorry, hopefully some solution comes up.
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
God why do I have to be so clumsy,I mean I do a lot of things right,but sometimes I make a huge mistake oh well....
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
KiaKaha said:
I cant smile in photos. I always look grumpy.
I cant do it.... I just cant. I look ridiculous when I smile.
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Me too. I lost the ability to smile over the years (in childhood it was the other way round, I could never stop smiling in the photos, even though I wanted to). I think this is the greatest s**t that could happen to me, smiling is very important, if I don´t have it I can be the greatest of the great but without smiling it gets me nowhere. I love it how people always say: "you don´t need to do anything, just smile", or "if you don´t know what to say just smile", etc. As if it was the easiest and most banal thing to do. But the reality is that it is the most impossible thing for me. I would rather do everything else if it could make up for that..
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
^^^ I get a lot of people hassling me for my inability to smile. I do actually smile...quite often. It's just in photos... I cant do it very well. I always look weird and awkward.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
KiaKaha said:
^^^ I get a lot of people hassling me for my inability to smile. I do actually smile...quite often. It's just in photos... I cant do it very well. I always look weird and awkward.
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Exactly same with me. I've always been told "you'll look great if you just smile". But I don't know why I just CAN'T.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
^^ I have been practicing.
I cant pull it off very well...

I heard a line from a lyric today that got me thinking...

"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness"

hmmmm....

I feel a thread a-brewing...
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I'm forcing myself into some positive thinking. It's somewhat working so far.
I wonder how long I can keep this up.

I want to start my little photo challenge again. I think I gave up and caved in too soon. I really just want self-confidence. I want to feel good about myself. Even though I endured a lot of crap for 3 weeks while I was out of state, my other cousin I hung out with made me feel good, just because she's a pretty positive person anyway. Even when I wasn't with her, I didn't hate my appearance entirely as much as I normally do. Not saying I had a surge in confidence, but it still feels better when your negativity is lightened a little.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
I'm forcing myself into some positive thinking. It's somewhat working so far.
I wonder how long I can keep this up.

I want to start my little photo challenge again. I think I gave up and caved in too soon. I really just want self-confidence. I want to feel good about myself. Even though I endured a lot of crap for 3 weeks while I was out of state, my other cousin I hung out with made me feel good, just because she's a pretty positive person anyway. Even when I wasn't with her, I didn't hate my appearance entirely as much as I normally do. Not saying I had a surge in confidence, but it still feels better when your negativity is lightened a little.
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Good on you for trying to think positive Phoenixx. Good luck with you challange.
 
AsTimeBurns

AsTimeBurns

Well-known member
Been offered an interview for a job in Scotland...not sure if I really want to go though. I certainly don't want to stay in my current job for much longer, but I feel this would just be trading one job for a very similar other one (albeit that pays quite a bit more).

Plus I'd have to bleach out my blue hair if I go on the interview!
 
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