It probably helped that I don't exactly look like a coder (no Y chromosome for starters).
I was under strict instructions to only ever wear jeans-and-a-trade-t on the (rare) occasions that I had to meet with clients, so that they didn't assume I was marketing.
By high school, I'd become so embarrassed about my high grades that I did my best to hide them. I certainly didn't do anything to deserve them; I remember a classmate saying, "You must do like four hours of homework a night" and I felt too uncomfortable to tell him that I didn't do any. Not a great way to learn mental discipline.
I applied to study Architecture rather than the Medicine that everyone expected me to take (and which was certainly more in line with my strengths). Why? I wanted to stop being a nerd.
It was only at Arch School that I realized that a large part of my self esteem had in fact rested on my smarts, which is part of why I switched to CS. And studying CS was the happiest time of my life, bolstered by a constant stream of As.
And then the uncertainty of work, and floundering in the dark, and unrelenting panic.
My ex said of me: heaps of horsepower, can't put it on the ground.
I get where you are coming from. Was this something so shameful for you though? I mean I used to be in your situation, I was called the nerd, but not in a mean way, I guess, even though I had studied less than anyone in my class. And now, when I am at the best school in my country I lost that. And I don't miss the names but I do miss the confidence that being considered smart by others gave me. And their opinions became my perception of myself. Myself that I liked, compared to my present self that I hate. Didn't that make you happy? Why would you be ashamed of being smart? Never felt that way. Quite the opposite.
I don't know what's happening inside my head, I feel a bit down and that is a feeling that I hate the most, because Im not really used to it and if to be honest It scares me, I always start to think if I end up doing something stupid 🙁, and probably I have become emotionally attached to someone that I have never meet, Don't know if its a crush or just obsession of the nice things that this individual is giving me.
is it someone you know on the web? those feelings can be difficult to deal with, i can tell you from experience.
it can happen. i suppose text messaging is just another form of getting to know another person better.
yeah I consider that I know that person a quite a bit now for that I have been talking to her since summer almost daily, I really like that we have many things in common and can talk about anything, but Im like putting up a false hope like what if it could be something more, and if to be honest I only want a friendship sounds weird doesn't, its like its a blend of jealousy of some short as well.
I've been reading through my old diaries. 2003 to be precise. Reminded myself of when my R.S classmates turned round to me and said, "We used to think you were a bit weird". And then I read more and realised that my whole life, even though I've never been unpopular (never really popular either. Just happy with my different groups of good friends), I've always had an existence in my life of people who don't do anything else but mock or ridicule - usually my voice and mannerisms. And it just makes me feel like a bit of a joke tbh. Even though I know those people don't matter. Even my friends joke about me being weird sometimes.
Well.
I'm glad I'm weird. Just wish I didn't feel as though everybody I meet in real life thinks it.
I don't really know how to define what's normal and what's weird, but I do know that I like they way you are, whatever label you want to put on it.
After about 2 hours in Skyrim I was starting to doubt whether I was actually going to like the game. But all the way through the first dungeon, and after slaying the first Dragon I'm definitely starting to see elements that strongly appeal to me.
After about 2 hours in Skyrim I was starting to doubt whether I was actually going to like the game. But all the way through the first dungeon, and after slaying the first Dragon I'm definitely starting to see elements that strongly appeal to me.
Going to take my time, and make this game last.
Sure, take your time
... and then you can send it to me
... and your chair too
... and the kitten? :3
Well, I'll loan a truck and send it to your house, send me whatever you want
I'm back baby!!! My internet's back up in my room and I'm ready to dance a jig! I thought I was going to have to meet up with one of the RA (room advisors), but not anymore! Funny, it came back up after I got done shaving (on a side note, I hate facial hair! It's too itchy!)! Now, I have to go wash my clothes, then get ready to recycle, which means it's time to guzzle down as many Sprites as I possibly can:cool:! It also means that I'm going to have to sift through my trash, not looking forward to it.
By high school, I'd become so embarrassed about my high grades that I did my best to hide them. I certainly didn't do anything to deserve them; I remember a classmate saying, "You must do like four hours of homework a night" and I felt too uncomfortable to tell him that I didn't do any. Not a great way to learn mental discipline.
I applied to study Architecture rather than the Medicine that everyone expected me to take (and which was certainly more in line with my strengths). Why? I wanted to stop being a nerd.
It was only at Arch School that I realized that a large part of my self esteem had in fact rested on my smarts, which is part of why I switched to CS. And studying CS was the happiest time of my life, bolstered by a constant stream of As.
And then the uncertainty of work, and floundering in the dark, and unrelenting panic.
My ex said of me: heaps of horsepower, can't put it on the ground.
You were doing what you thought was right. Nothing wrong with that at all.
At least you had good grades. By the time I finished high school, the constant bullying and depression made me care so little about my grades that I flunked the HSC (Higher School Certificate) and basically left me with no hope.
Kool-Aid! So, water you waiting for? Go lie down before you see what you ate today..... again. I'll Sierra to it that you get better! Make sure you don't need to get a Chek-up, okay? While you're out, you should go get a Minute Maid;)!
She said that or Sushi, and I dont like fish so Italian it is
Well, good for you Pips! You're just being awesome all over the place, aren't you:)? You'll tell us how it went, right? Show her how awesome you really are:D! Good luck man!
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