Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

BlueDays

BlueDays

1
FountainandFairfax said:
I'm an alpha snail.
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vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
A lot of times I feel like a dog whose owner is trying to play fetch with him, but just sits there and watches the ball across the room without moving. The owner is yelling "Come on boy, go get the ball, go get the ball!" but nothing, he just stares at the ball.
 
R

RegalSin

Well-known member
I took a position and I have no regrets. My only regret is the fear I have to over come while I am in this position and the lack of support from the people in my lives.

I wish it was like a Disney movie from the 1920's or 40's whatever but it is not. It is people full of fear from left to right and nobody willing to put down there money where there mouth is.
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by fault lines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dip shits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cause
I sure could use a vacation from this


Cause I'm praying for rain
And I'm praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mum, please flush it all away.
I wanna see it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
I didn't know there were sub-types of AvPD. These two stood out to me.

The Self-Deserting Avoidant

A clear example of the influence of different personality domains is found in this last subtype of avoidant patterns. Self-deserting avoidants combine the social (interpersonal) retreating of the avoidant with the ruminative (cognitive) self-devaluation of the depressive personality. These individuals immerse themselves in a surrogate fantasy existence to avoid the discomfort of having to relate to others. They are not, however, unaware of their use of these tactics (unless, for example, they are concurrently experiencing a major depressive episode with psychosis), and this makes them painfully aware of their perceived inadequacies. Fantasy gradually becomes less effective, and their thoughts center more and more on the misery of their lives and the anguish of past experiences. Waking dreams are displaced by painful ruminations.

Thus totally interiorized, the feelings that motivated their initial withdrawal reverberate unremittingly. More and more, they cannot tolerate being themselves and seek to completely withdraw from their own conscious awareness, an existential abnegation of selfhood. Some become increasingly neglectful psychologically and physically, even to the point of neglecting basic hygiene. Some plunge into despair and are driven toward suicide, abandoning life as a means of ridding themselves of inner anguish and horror of their own identities. Others regress into a state of emotional numbness in which they are completely disconnected from themselves. In particularly severe cases, the structure of consciousness itself may split or fragment, leaving a regressive disorganization reminiscent of the schizotypal personality. As this process proceeds, self-deserting avoidants become outside spectators, observing from without the drama of their frightening transformation.

The Phobic Avoidant

Like the avoidant, dependent personalities desire close personal relationships; unlike the avoidant's basic sense of mistrust, however, dependents invest their trust (and much of their sense of self) in a significant other and relentlessly dread the potential loss of that relationship. Phobic avoidants combine features of these two personalities. Trapped between desire and the possibility of abandonment, phobic avoidants find a symbolic substitute onto which to project or displace their fear and anger. A free-floating and barely tolerable sense of anxiety or dread is thus concretized and shifted away from its true object: It's not the boyfriend or girlfriend, but the dog next door that is to be feared. By fleeing the phobic object or situation, such individuals seek to free themselves by symbolically leaving fear behind. Such phobias express the avoidant's fear of personal rejection, humiliation, and shame. For many phobic avoidants, the expression of fear in the presence of the phobic object also represents a cry for compassion, a desire to make instrumental use of fear as a means of disarming rejection and abandonment threats by eliciting support from otherwise unsupportive persons. Thus, phobic avoidants may successfully distance themselves from anxiety-producing situations, while also soliciting a degree of tolerance from others: You can't really hate her for not wanting to take the job at the dam; she has a fear of drowning. Unfortunately, such attempts often backfire, for the phobia itself may elicit mockery.

Note, too, that many personalities experience phobic syndromes. Some exhibit dramatic displays; others, being more constrained, show a motor restlessness and worry about being exposed as weak and inadequate. Irritable personalities seem always on edge, even when the phobic object is not present; avoidants hide their fears under a quiet public reserve.
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https://www.alpfmedical.info/personality-disorders-2/variations-of-the-avoidant-personality.html
 
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Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person :D It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
The older I get, the more my depression manifests itself physically. Especially when something really bugs me. I'll get these flu-like headaches with a lot of pressure in my frontal sinuses and all I want to do is go to bed to get away from it. Once I've slept a few hours it starts to subside, and I'm usually myself again after about a day.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Hot_Tamale said:
I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person :D It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!
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Yay for you! Was it as exciting as you expected it to be?
To see snow with my own eyes and actually feel snow, is at the top of my Bucket List to do before I end up six-feet-under. :bigsmile: I will have to travel several hours South though.


FountainandFairfax said:
The older I get, the more my depression manifests itself physically. Especially when something really bugs me. I'll get these flu-like headaches with a lot of pressure in my frontal sinuses and all I want to do is go to bed to get away from it. Once I've slept a few hours it starts to subside, and I'm usually myself again after about a day.
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Yeps, I have found that too.
I get really sore/red gums straight after I have gone through a really bad few days in a row. That is only time it happens, and it clears up by itself a day or so after the bad situation has ended.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Hot_Tamale said:
I finally saw actual snow for the first time in my life! The last time it snowed where I live was in 1987, I was only 1 year old. I even built a little snow person :D It didn't even snow that hard and the power was still knocked out, it was still amazing though. I don't know how you Northerners live with it every winter!
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I've never seen snow, but i've seen it raining "sleet", which seemed like snow - which i've never seen. It fell very gently & melted as soon as it hit the ground, or my palm. Lovely.
 
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Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
@BlueDays
@Slowesthand

Quite difficult to explain, really, so I won't spoil the whole thing for anyone. It brushed off and I thought it would turn into water because of my body heat when I touched it but nope, it stayed frozen. That crap is really painful too because I kept playing with it without gloves.

And yea, in the morning there was sleet too on a lot of roads :D

What else is on your bucket lists?
 
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