FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I have the worst sleeping "routine" on the planet earth.
Post your random thoughts/feelings etc
- Thread starter Remus
- Start date
Opaline
1
I'm sure I've complained about this before, eons ago, but every summer I dread the inevitable self-consciousness I feel, and comments I receive, about how pale I am. I'm VERY fair-skinned, I don't "tan" at all, and I wouldn't considering how unhealthy it is and that melanoma runs in my family (my 27-year-old cousin just died from it).
Every year I try to not give a f*** and go to the beach in a bikini anyway and wear dresses/shorts, but the comments inevitably come: "you need some sun" "you're SO pale" "why are you so pale?" This is the way I look, and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't understand why I have to be shamed for it.
Every year I try to not give a f*** and go to the beach in a bikini anyway and wear dresses/shorts, but the comments inevitably come: "you need some sun" "you're SO pale" "why are you so pale?" This is the way I look, and there's nothing I can do about it. I don't understand why I have to be shamed for it.
theslowesthand
Banned
I've also always had a pale complexion. I think it comes from my scottish/UK/etc ancestry. I CAN get a good tan, but that's usually meant sunburn as well. Going for a 20-30m walk every day helps me to not be too white .. i've now a basic light tan & it's almost winter.
And there's always sunbeds & fake-tan lotions. :bigsmile:
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My hair is thinned, my hair comes out, my beard hairs fall out, I'm sore all the time, I hurt, I'm tired all the time, I can't concentrate, I can't do the things I want to do. All this depression and anxiety has gone too far. Too many years of too much stress, anxiety, depression, worry, fear. I didn't mean for this too happen. But back then I didn't know you could do this to yourself. I just believed I deserved to be miserable...
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
The awful just keeps on coming. I'm so tired of this shit.
ETA: Make that exhausted. I don't know why I go on. What's the point? My life is completely empty except for a bunch of junk and useless money. I literally have nothing to live for. Why am I still here? To see how much worse things can get? **** it, I'm going to bed.
ETA: Make that exhausted. I don't know why I go on. What's the point? My life is completely empty except for a bunch of junk and useless money. I literally have nothing to live for. Why am I still here? To see how much worse things can get? **** it, I'm going to bed.
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BlueDays
1
You should not be shamed for it!, sadly many people seem to lack the compassion gene and will not care what effect the comments they make to other people will have on the persons self-esteem.
You were sadly just born in the wrong era. As you probably already know, back in the 17th/18th and 19 Century, pale skin was revered as it meant that you were rich and did not have to be out in the sun doing manual labour on farms etc.
If only Bill Gates would put all of his fortune into the research and the subsequent invention of a time machine,
I suffer the same problem as you only my ghostly white skin is caused by never leaving my house except for survival purposes only. Also living in a tourist town that's right next to the beach doesn't help, people and sales assistants think I am a tourist! :sad:
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I'm sorry Rawz.
I know that and fifty cents doesn't get you much, but at least know we're all in the same boat, or at least in the same shitty part of the ocean... call it the Agoraphobic Triangle. :thumbdown:
I really want to get in shape - this has been a struggle my whole life. I don't want to be tiny or waiflike, but fit and curvy. I imagine myself buying lulu's dresses and actually looking hot AF. I know looks aren't everything, but I really want to be that gorgeous girl for once. I am proud of myself tonight - I wasn't going to work out, but I did and I set a new personal planking record of 2 minutes. I think what disappoints me most is that after the weight loss, I will require plastic surgery to look normal. I have already lost about 80 pounds (gained some back and RE-lost is too) since the age of 19. I still need to lose 20-25 more pounds/tone up/build more muscle. I really wish I wouldn't have ****ed up my body the way I did.
In other news, I think I am going to give hypnosis another go, but this time for my anxiety. I went to 1 session previously for my driving anxiety and thought it didn't work, but she said as I drove more it would be easier and I would enjoy it and that's exactly what's happening which I never thought possible, so we'll see what happens.
In other news, I think I am going to give hypnosis another go, but this time for my anxiety. I went to 1 session previously for my driving anxiety and thought it didn't work, but she said as I drove more it would be easier and I would enjoy it and that's exactly what's happening which I never thought possible, so we'll see what happens.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Hot_Tamale
Well-known member
The background music makes it so much better to me
He just has to convince all of his animal friends he really did find the softest nest in the world.
Please post more.
So, I'm kind of proud of myself. Yesterday was Relay for Life - it was my 3rd year attending, but my 1st year as a cancer survivor. I got roped into speaking in front of everyone during the luminary ceremony and I was super anxious about it. It was only 1 sentence, but still, I was freaking out. Come to find out, everyone else was too and I got up there, did it and it was totally fine. I was going to back out, but I forced myself to do it and my anxiety lessened when I got up there.
Anyway, it was fun, but I felt like I didn't deserve all the praise for beating cancer because it wasn't as severe as some and I didn't have to go through radiation or chemotherapy.
This week is my last week in my current position at work and then I will start my new position - man, am I nervous. I'm so worried about ****ing up and not being social enough (it's a social job). I guess all I can do is my best and hope I'm a good enough employee *shrug*. I still need to figure out how I will raise the money for a down on a car - kind of feel hopeless about it, but maybe a miracle will happen lol. I'm feeling down and insecure today, so my vibe sucks. Even after working out... bleh :/
Anyway, it was fun, but I felt like I didn't deserve all the praise for beating cancer because it wasn't as severe as some and I didn't have to go through radiation or chemotherapy.
This week is my last week in my current position at work and then I will start my new position - man, am I nervous. I'm so worried about ****ing up and not being social enough (it's a social job). I guess all I can do is my best and hope I'm a good enough employee *shrug*. I still need to figure out how I will raise the money for a down on a car - kind of feel hopeless about it, but maybe a miracle will happen lol. I'm feeling down and insecure today, so my vibe sucks. Even after working out... bleh :/
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I find the best quick-fix when going out is to simply pretend I'm someone else. It doesn't work for extended periods, but as far as running to the store or something like that, it does quite well.
The trick is picking someone I'm physically similar to, but who doesn't have social phobia. It wouldn't work if I walked around thinking I was Zach Effron, there's nothing there to relate to; but I CAN pretend I'm someone like Zach Galifianakis or UFC fighter Roy Nelson.
If they're okay with themselves, then why can't I be... at least for an hour.
The trick is picking someone I'm physically similar to, but who doesn't have social phobia. It wouldn't work if I walked around thinking I was Zach Effron, there's nothing there to relate to; but I CAN pretend I'm someone like Zach Galifianakis or UFC fighter Roy Nelson.
If they're okay with themselves, then why can't I be... at least for an hour.
BlueDays
1
I do that too! @imagine I am someone else. Sadly as you said, it only works for a short period of time, that is the case for me too.I find the best quick-fix when going out is to simply pretend I'm someone else. It doesn't work for extended periods, but as far as running to the store or something like that, it does quite well.
The trick is picking someone I'm physically similar to, but who doesn't have social phobia. It wouldn't work if I walked around thinking I was Zach Effron, there's nothing there to relate to; but I CAN pretend I'm someone like Zach Galifianakis or UFC fighter Roy Nelson.
If they're okay with themselves, then why can't I be... at least for an hour.
But it still comes in really helpful sometimes!
However unlike you picking someone who you can physically identify with, I imagine I am a guy.
If I pretend I am a male then there is so much confidence I can suddenly develop because I have less to worry about as a guy. :thumbup:
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I knew you got me, Blue.
theslowesthand
Banned
Uh oh uh oh, i'm stayin alive, stayin alive
I'm going nowhere, somebody help me, somebody help me get there
Whilst stayin aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive
No fear, i'll have somebody to help me get nowhere
Somebody to help me with stayin aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive
:alone: :brindis:
I'm going nowhere, somebody help me, somebody help me get there
Whilst stayin aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive
No fear, i'll have somebody to help me get nowhere
Somebody to help me with stayin aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive
:alone: :brindis:
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GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
"Now or never," she told me. "You can do anything."
Yeah, well now ain't gonna happen, is it?
So what's that leave?
:sad:
Yeah, well now ain't gonna happen, is it?
So what's that leave?
:sad:
AtTheGates
Banned
note to self:dont use vicks vapor rub as chap stick before bed anymore.
BlueDays
1
^ Did anyone else actually sing that post in Barry Gibbs high singing voice while reading it? >.>
^ Sadly that leaves..... "Same old, same old"
^ Only for people like us, there is NO top of the mountain.
Just never-ending climbing....
GraybeardGhost
Well-known member
Climbing or falling. I've been falling, it seems, forever, without ever reaching the bottom. Every day a little worse than the one before. Never that last, merciful release.