Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

J

Jontreacy

New member
Hi name's Jon, last few years have been bell. I live in a small town in Ireland, it started in 2011 I was driving my double decker bus through the town when an old lady i knew walked out in front of me at the traffic lights,she died an hour later. A few months later my father died,a while after my grandmother died who lived with my family since wee were young children,
Last year my wife decided to have an affair, couldn't blame her actually,
I know live on my own , see my little boy often which keeps me going😊
I'm on more pills than I can call to remember,been to more therapists than I want to remember. I think the human brain now is too intelligent, that's why wee have phobias wee can't be fooled as easily, ptsd , depression, anxiety, all been tagged on me. Too hard at times want to get away from everything, but I don't think the moon would be far enough
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
That's a lot you have been through Jon. I agree that human mind is not so easily fooled into thinking that everything around us is fine when it clearly isn't.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
It seems my life is going to hell in a hand basket, but each day good things do happen to lift me up when it seems I am at my lowest point. Yesterday it was seeing a wildflower I didn't have a photo of. Just for a moment I was really excited, and all the other worrying thoughts took a backseat. It didn't last long, but it was a distraction.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
It's been a rough month. A sad, messed up month. I have not had so many sleep deprived nights as I have these past few weeks. I'm looking forward to next month, hopefully things will settle down and I'll feel more relaxed. I have a couple weekends to myself to look forward to then also, and to hopefully take my mind away from everything else.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Kiwong said:
It seems my life is going to hell in a hand basket, but each day good things do happen to lift me up when it seems I am at my lowest point. Yesterday it was seeing a wildflower I didn't have a photo of. Just for a moment I was really excited, and all the other worrying thoughts took a backseat. It didn't last long, but it was a distraction.
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What kind of flower? I am enjoying learning about the flora and fauna of my new home. Snowberries, red cedar trees and blackberries bushes growing 20 feet tall, wild everywhere. Peeper frogs at night are great to fall asleep to.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
It's been a rough month. A sad, messed up month. I have not had so many sleep deprived nights as I have these past few weeks. I'm looking forward to next month, hopefully things will settle down and I'll feel more relaxed. I have a couple weekends to myself to look forward to then also, and to hopefully take my mind away from everything else.
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Work and school stress?

I really don't do well at all on less than 5 hrs of good sleep myself.
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
MollyBeGood said:
What kind of flower? I am enjoying learning about the flora and fauna of my new home. Snowberries, red cedar trees and blackberries bushes growing 20 feet tall, wild everywhere. Peeper frogs at night are great to fall asleep to.
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It was a Black-eyed Susan, Molly. I like their nodding flowers. Your new place sounds pretty interesting nature wise, the sound of frogs is peaceful. The Marsh Frogs go off in the paperbark swamps after rain around here.
 
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MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Kiwong said:


It was a Black-eyed Susan, Molly. I like their nodding flowers. Your new place sounds pretty interesting nature wise, I find the sound of frogs to be peaceful. The Marsh Frogs go off in the paperbark swamps after rain around here.
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Interesting, Kiwong. The black-eyed susans here are yellow petals with a black-ished/brown centers-those are so different. I like the color:)
I love all of the vegetation here, it is very lush and so green.
 
MollyBeGood

MollyBeGood

Well-known member
Jontreacy said:
Hi name's Jon, last few years have been bell. I live in a small town in Ireland, it started in 2011 I was driving my double decker bus through the town when an old lady i knew walked out in front of me at the traffic lights,she died an hour later. A few months later my father died,a while after my grandmother died who lived with my family since wee were young children,
Last year my wife decided to have an affair, couldn't blame her actually,
I know live on my own , see my little boy often which keeps me going😊
I'm on more pills than I can call to remember,been to more therapists than I want to remember. I think the human brain now is too intelligent, that's why wee have phobias wee can't be fooled as easily, ptsd , depression, anxiety, all been tagged on me. Too hard at times want to get away from everything, but I don't think the moon would be far enough
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I hope things improve for you. That all sounds very, very difficult.

Great you have your boy, children can be such lights in dark times.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
I think its time I put some distance between myself and Facebook. Hardly anything good ever comes from that social media.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
MollyBeGood said:
Work and school stress?

I really don't do well at all on less than 5 hrs of good sleep myself.
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^ Work actually hasn't been so stressful anymore, just busy-ish. School and family issues have been stressing me out though. :sad: Most nights I'm getting 6 hrs, but of broken sleep. Every so often I'll get a good 7 or 8, but it's uncommon for me now.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I keep contemplating my future career, where I'll end up. As much as I like science and my major, a part of me doesn't want to even bother with college anymore. I know that having that piece of paper is the key to even get anyone to look at you for a job, because that's how our shitty system works. But I wonder if academics are really for me, you know? I've always been a studious person, always loved learning new things, always reading. I still love it, don't get me wrong. But college is so.... underwhelming. It's pathetic really, because it revolves around how much you talk and who you know rather than what you know. I feel like maybe something more hands-on is where it's at for me. While I've always loved reading and learning, I absolutely cannot stand sitting in a classroom anymore. I've had 16 years of it, from elementary school all the way up to college where I currently am now. I need something more than just sitting at a desk listening to a professor drone on and on about crap that I either already know or don't care to know because I will never use it in my day-to-day life as long as I live.

I literally had one of my professors give our class a lecture the other day how she doesn't "want us to overstudy," how that even though she puts extra information (really interesting information, I might add) on the slides she doesn't want us to study it and only "memorize what you need to for the quizzes and exams." Memorize. That's all anything ever is as far as education goes. Not learning. Just memorizing word salad until our heads explode. Where we're walking around like drones accepting what is and not questioning anything we're told. It's people like this, that I have to put up with in order to pass a class that's a requirement for a piece of paper, that make me so angry I feel like I'm wasting my time. :thumbdown:
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Phoenixx said:
I keep contemplating my future career, where I'll end up. As much as I like science and my major, a part of me doesn't want to even bother with college anymore. I know that having that piece of paper is the key to even get anyone to look at you for a job, because that's how our shitty system works. But I wonder if academics are really for me, you know? I've always been a studious person, always loved learning new things, always reading. I still love it, don't get me wrong. But college is so.... underwhelming. It's pathetic really, because it revolves around how much you talk and who you know rather than what you know. I feel like maybe something more hands-on is where it's at for me. While I've always loved reading and learning, I absolutely cannot stand sitting in a classroom anymore. I've had 16 years of it, from elementary school all the way up to college where I currently am now. I need something more than just sitting at a desk listening to a professor drone on and on about crap that I either already know or don't care to know because I will never use it in my day-to-day life as long as I live.

I literally had one of my professors give our class a lecture the other day how she doesn't "want us to overstudy," how that even though she puts extra information (really interesting information, I might add) on the slides she doesn't want us to study it and only "memorize what you need to for the quizzes and exams." Memorize. That's all anything ever is as far as education goes. Not learning. Just memorizing word salad until our heads explode. Where we're walking around like drones accepting what is and not questioning anything we're told. It's people like this, that I have to put up with in order to pass a class that's a requirement for a piece of paper, that make me so angry I feel like I'm wasting my time. :thumbdown:
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Sounds like you got burnt out. Which is pretty much where I am. I went and got a four year degree and then went back and added another two years to it. And Ive about had enough. I never really have any free time. And Im not even employed so I cant imagine what life is like for those working while in school. Professors are already asking me if I wanna go to grad school and Im like "I just wanna move out of my parents house" Ill worry about that other stuff once I can get some damn freedom and privacy. Mind if I ask what your major is?
 
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