Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
planemo said:
You have people with too much pomp, bravado and pride, and then you have us... people with too much shame and self doubt. Maybe we exist to balance things out? :thinking:
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Hmmm... :question: That's an interesting perspective, ah've never thought about it like that.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Opaline said:
It's all so weird...

I don't feel depressed and haven't felt seriously depressed in a while, at least more than a day or so at a time. When it has happened lately it's been brief and not often. I think this has changed due to having moved out of my mom's house and into a clean, cozy, peaceful place. However, although I love where I live and I ultimately feel good about it all, there's this lingering unhappiness and my guess is it is because of 1) stress due to having too much on my plate and literally not enough hours in each day/week to do it all while working and going to school, and 2) lack of a social life.

It's a weird mixture of very good things and some of the same old bad things that need to be changed but are not easily/readily changed. I'm grateful for the amazing things I DO have, for sure. And I know that I do have people in my life who care about me. Most of them are family and a few of them are other people. This lack of more non-family relationships really, really gets me down. I want a few close friends - it's really all I ask. And a romantic relationship, which I have in a way, but... well, that is complicated and I just don't even know. There are a few factors that make it complicated, one being the fact that the person lives far away. So... it's good in a lot of ways, but complicated by things.

The biggest thing I feel desperately needs to change, and is causing the greater amount of unhappiness out of the two things I mentioned, is the stress/not enough time. I spend every day running, running, running, and when I take some time to just do nothing or enjoy myself I feel guilty because I really should be studying - I have limited time do so, so I just keep playing desperate half-assed catch-up in all my classes. I'm not getting all A's right now...

I haven't even done my taxes yet! Or filed for financial aid. The stress is never-ending and my job is incredibly demanding in a lot of ways, and I often feel on the verge of panic and want to just break down and cry and give up out of frustration and exhaustion. I'm desperate for down time. But not depressed. Despite feeling so desperate, I also feel like I'm getting through it pretty well, considering. I feel tired and stressed, but resilient.

At least this summer I'll have an amazing vacation of sorts that will be like a reward for all this hard work.
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^ Feeling like you can't even breathe when you have so much on your plate is exhausting as hell. I've been there before, and it sucks. Do you make schedules for yourself at all? Time management is something I've actually gotten a little better at this year just from scheduling and keeping a couple calendars. About once a week (on a weekend typically) I take about a half hour or so to sit down and just lay out my schedule for the week. I use Google Calendar, and I set up everything I have to do for the week, day by day, including events and even basic stuff like making dinner. I especially make sure to put in a couple 15-minute breaks whenever I can, because if I don't, then I feel too overwhelmed. Aside from the master schedule I also keep a couple calendars -- one for my schoolwork due dates and another for my work schedule and trips out of town. I don't know why having two different calendars organizes me better, but it does.

This has helped me a lot, so maybe give it a shot and see if it works for you? Good luck! :thumbup:
 
State_Of_Trance

State_Of_Trance

Well-known member
Keep getting really emotional at work. Haven't quite cried though. All it takes is for me to think about home and my puppies back there. :( Getting sad just writing about it right now. :( :( :(
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
You manipulative, two-faced, lyin'... Ugh! Aw adjective in the world couldnae come close tae describing you.

If you look me in the eye an f**kin' lie tae me again, you'll regret it. Cuz I am feed-up playin' your wee mind games. Think ye cun play dumb with me, d'ye? F**kin' think again, am no as stoopid as ah look, y'know...

Also, elaborate when yer tryin' tae describe where summit is cuz "The thingy next tae the thing" doesnae exactly make it any clearer. Ah mean that's just above Kanye West levels of makin' sense. :sarcastic:
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
I was thinking about bringing my journal along with me but didn't figure I'd have time to right in it. The emotions are just filling in my head...

So bad...
 
PugofCrydee

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
planemo said:
I was fortunate enough to see and hear a laughing kookaburra at the zoo. They're really amazing creatures.
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They live where I do. I love hearing them almost daily, seeing them raise their young. They sit in the gum trees around my house and year after year I can actually recognize the same parents raising their youngsters :)

The only time I don't appreciate them is on Saturday and Sunday mornings when I'm trying to get a little extra sleep..
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Earlier my mother called me from work, she was on her lunch break, so she could talk to me and ask me questions about a new phone plan she was thinking of transferring to. In the midst of our discussion, my cat jumped on the counter in front of me, in which I proceeded to call her an as-shole for doing so. Then I hear my aunt (they work together) cracking up in the background and my mother tells me that I'm on speaker. Whoops. :rolleyes::ironicsmile:

I feel like I should be mortified by this, but honestly I just think it was really funny.
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Meed to hurry up and getmy bike checked so I can leave...
I have a feeling my mother is not gonna want to watch Jayce...

I knew this would happen; after she told me she wish she could retired the she would keep her grandchildren all summer....

Yeah right. I just wish I could get out of that place and she wouldn't have to worry about us anymore... I shouldnt have came back. If only she raised me better...
 
nodejesque

nodejesque

Well-known member
American idol has been my guilty pleasure this season. I have never watched it before this season, and I forward through elimination parts because I feel bad.... But, frak. Theyre really good.

Hulu is making me into a bigger loser.
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
I shouldn't have tried to explain anything. I ahould have been brief. Of course I never think of what may he a good answer until after I've already said something.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Ah've hud enough... I am feed up with being made to look like I'm an eejit or made out to be the bad guy cuz ah still have some effin' standards, moral an value.

I'm done puttin' ma trust in c**ts who see fit to lie and take advantage of me aw the time. Mainly family but still... F**k 'em!

And, sure, ah might look like a dumb, retarded spastic, but at least ah don't f**k with people or sucked to them in order tae get summit in return. Which is probably ma only remaining good quality.
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
It seems you just go oot yer way just to make ma life difficult and miserable. Can ye see why ah don't get along with you? But then we huv'nae been for years.

And is it too much to ask for you to stop trying to second guess my every word, action or motive. And stop askin' question ah huv'nae f**kin' asked.

If ah want you to do summit for me ah'll ask ye, and say "please" - cuz am a kind, considerate c**t. Unlike you, who just expects everythin' tae be done at yer whim cuz you got a pair o' airbag tits and a fanny. Therefore whit you say goes, eh? Feminism the ultimate opposer... of men!

Cannae wait to finally leave this shitty wee Scottish Borders town and move to Dundee or somewhere up north. The further it's for the family to travel, the better cuz the less ah'll see 'em.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Turns out the only therapy options available to me is group therapy, and thats completely full. Looks like Im going to have to sort through whatever issues I have by myself.
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Phoenixx said:
^ Feeling like you can't even breathe when you have so much on your plate is exhausting as hell. I've been there before, and it sucks. Do you make schedules for yourself at all? Time management is something I've actually gotten a little better at this year just from scheduling and keeping a couple calendars. About once a week (on a weekend typically) I take about a half hour or so to sit down and just lay out my schedule for the week. I use Google Calendar, and I set up everything I have to do for the week, day by day, including events and even basic stuff like making dinner. I especially make sure to put in a couple 15-minute breaks whenever I can, because if I don't, then I feel too overwhelmed. Aside from the master schedule I also keep a couple calendars -- one for my schoolwork due dates and another for my work schedule and trips out of town. I don't know why having two different calendars organizes me better, but it does.

This has helped me a lot, so maybe give it a shot and see if it works for you? Good luck! :thumbup:
Click to expand...

Thanks :)

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