For the past ten years, I have been driving to Oakland every year, in the days before the day of the dead. I buy marigolds as well as supplies to make sugarskulls and to buy things needed for my altar. I have built a great friendship with the owners of this cultural shop. As I prepare to go this year, I receive a letter in the mail that one of the owners has passed. I am deeply saddened by this news. In memory of her late husband, his wife is inviting close friends to come on Sunday and take all that is needed for their coming celebration.. Since that is what he would have wanted. It will be closed to everyone except those whom received invitation.
Since receiving her letter... I feel such heaviness. I will be making the drive to go out there, but I have anxiety about what to tell her. How to show how much I lament his passing.
This has been keeping me awake for the past few nights. My stomach hurts at the thought of having o face her in such a difficult time.
Am I an a.sshole for considering to stay home? Gah. I am an as.sshole.
Ok, I'm going.