Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

Ithior

Ithior

Well-known member
anomicdeer said:
Had an interview scheduled for today and the person wasnt even there!!!
Now I have to deal with them not contacting me back. No matter what that means I didnt care and/or they are just that crappy which means I can't even get crappy jobs now!!
I dont even want to be in this ****ing house right now. I hate being in here Ll the time. I can ****ing stand it.
Click to expand...

That sucks. Were you supposed to meet the person at their office or somewhere else?
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
Ithior said:
Have you done other activities other than getting a degree? Volunteering, participating in students' organisations and stuff like that. My friends and other people I know that did stuff like that all got jobs right after getting the degree. The friends I have that did not do anything took over a year to get a job.

Now that I'm going back to college I should probably involve myself in something unlike last time, unless I want to be unemployed for a long time.
Click to expand...

Yeah Im part of a charity group that regularly does volunteer work around town. I didnt however get involved on campus. I had a hard time doing things with my classmates because Im like a decade older than them and it made me feel like I didnt belong. But knowing him he probably did do those kinda things.
 
AlienGeranium

AlienGeranium

Well-known member
I finally got around to watching the end of How I Met Your Mother. I do not know how you manage to have 9 such good seasons of a show and have a finale that is so, so not satisfying. WHY WRITERS, WHY WOULD YOU DO THE THINGS. :veryangry:
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
as per usual

I so desperately wish I knew what it felt like be happy. Happiness has always been such an enigma to me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been truly, genuinely happy. I've had sporadic moments of blissful feelings of joy, but they come in such short bursts, and not even all too often. I’m always back in this dreadful state of never-ending despair no matter what. I feel shame, I feel so much shame for who I am and I wish I couldn't have any part of it. Unfortunately, I will never be anyone but ME. How do you even cross the barrier into self acceptance? The idea so escapes me.

I’m absolutely reaching my breaking point. I almost did on Saturday night. I couldn't breathe properly for days afterwards. I can finally mostly breathe today, but that doesn't mean it's going to stay this way. My breathe would only reach to about my collarbones, but wouldn't extend any further. I don't know if it was too tight or if I was just making myself sick with panic again. I don't know what to do about these panic episodes, I can't go on not being able to breathe and getting so worked up about probably NOTHING that I end up throwing up and not being able to walk or breathe. Not to mention I have had about 4 hours of sleep all week, so I look and feel like shit too. I'm humiliated by myself for being like this. I'm just venting, but I've had the most god awful last several days and I am just soo sooooo done with everything.
 
BlackPuma

BlackPuma

1
I'm just kinda waiting for life to chip away the last parts of me that make me feel human. Every year I just kind feel like less of an entity. Worse is that I see and feel that it is in my head and I can't break through whatever is causing it. It drives me ****ing insane.

I'm so afraid that one day I'll just be an empty husk completely stuck in my own head who's only real world purpose is to stay alive and consume sufficient nutrients in some sort of mental institution.

Posting this here won't do anything either, I know that. But I feel it's one of the last things I can do.
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Re: as per usual

Psychedelicious said:
I so desperately wish I knew what it felt like be happy. Happiness has always been such an enigma to me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been truly, genuinely happy. I've had sporadic moments of blissful feelings of joy, but they come in such short bursts, and not even all too often. I’m always back in this dreadful state of never-ending despair no matter what. I feel shame, I feel so much shame for who I am and I wish I couldn't have any part of it. Unfortunately, I will never be anyone but ME. How do you even cross the barrier into self acceptance? The idea so escapes me.

I’m absolutely reaching my breaking point. I almost did on Saturday night. I couldn't breathe properly for days afterwards. I can finally mostly breathe today, but that doesn't mean it's going to stay this way. My breathe would only reach to about my collarbones, but wouldn't extend any further. I don't know if it was too tight or if I was just making myself sick with panic again. I don't know what to do about these panic episodes, I can't go on not being able to breathe and getting so worked up about probably NOTHING that I end up throwing up and not being able to walk or breathe. Not to mention I have had about 4 hours of sleep all week, so I look and feel like shit too. I'm humiliated by myself for being like this. I'm just venting, but I've had the most god awful last several days and I am just soo sooooo done with everything.
Click to expand...


Man, Psyche...
Idk what to even say. I'm suffering as much.
Like today I was shaking all day.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
AlienGeranium said:
I finally got around to watching the end of How I Met Your Mother. I do not know how you manage to have 9 such good seasons of a show and have a finale that is so, so not satisfying. WHY WRITERS, WHY WOULD YOU DO THE THINGS. :veryangry:
Click to expand...
I know what you mean, AlienGeranium. I was so dissapointed with the endings of The X Files and Lost :crying: :eek:h: Even I could have written better finales for those!

Psychedelicious said:
I so desperately wish I knew what it felt like be happy. Happiness has always been such an enigma to me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been truly, genuinely happy. I've had sporadic moments of blissful feelings of joy, but they come in such short bursts, and not even all too often. I’m always back in this dreadful state of never-ending despair no matter what. I feel shame, I feel so much shame for who I am and I wish I couldn't have any part of it. Unfortunately, I will never be anyone but ME. How do you even cross the barrier into self acceptance? The idea so escapes me.

I’m absolutely reaching my breaking point. I almost did on Saturday night. I couldn't breathe properly for days afterwards. I can finally mostly breathe today, but that doesn't mean it's going to stay this way. My breathe would only reach to about my collarbones, but wouldn't extend any further. I don't know if it was too tight or if I was just making myself sick with panic again. I don't know what to do about these panic episodes, I can't go on not being able to breathe and getting so worked up about probably NOTHING that I end up throwing up and not being able to walk or breathe. Not to mention I have had about 4 hours of sleep all week, so I look and feel like shit too. I'm humiliated by myself for being like this. I'm just venting, but I've had the most god awful last several days and I am just soo sooooo done with everything.
Click to expand...


BlackPuma said:
I'm just kinda waiting for life to chip away the last parts of me that make me feel human. Every year I just kind feel like less of an entity. Worse is that I see and feel that it is in my head and I can't break through whatever is causing it. It drives me ****ing insane.

I'm so afraid that one day I'll just be an empty husk completely stuck in my own head who's only real world purpose is to stay alive and consume sufficient nutrients in some sort of mental institution.

Posting this here won't do anything either, I know that. But I feel it's one of the last things I can do.
Click to expand...
I am sorry Psych and BlackPuma that I am so tired all I can respond with to your posts in which you both express such despair....is a hug.

virtual_hug_emoticon_facebook_smiley.jpg.jpg
 
Opaline

Opaline

1
Pacific_Loner said:
Which one did you watch? I keep watching the neverending story once every few years and it never gets boring :p
Click to expand...

I watched parts of Mrs. Doubtfire and realized I perceived it differently as an adult than as a child. I love Sally Field's reaction in the restaurant scene - it's perfect :D
 
Last edited:
Odo

Odo

Banned
Opaline said:
It's always interesting to go back and watch movies as an adult that you loved as a kid. Gives you a new perspective.
Click to expand...

I agree.

I recently rewatched the movie Gremlins (maybe before your time), and I had completely forgotten about this gem of a monologue:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueVPUsyrT0s

I couldn't stop laughing.
Just watching it again now totally set me off.

It's just so insanely random and totally out of place in the movie too. I can't believe I even watched a movie as horrifying as this when I was 6 years old. I had the Mogwai teddy bear and everything.
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
The next person to throw me away won't notice the fire building behind their back from the spark they caused when they held me in their hand.
 
Ithior

Ithior

Well-known member
My dad found this open basketball court a short bus ride away. I've been itching to play some for quite some time now, I even dream about it often (and miss every shot every time).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top