Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

dean01

dean01

Well-known member
not feeling good tonight/morning as its 4 am and i still havent slept, had a real kick in the stomach earlier when some rude person be-littled me, i know i shouldnt take things personaly but it doesnt stop me feeling low. its like i have a huge weight on my chest and a feeling of total worthlessness, ive had thoughts of self harming but im coping with them. i just want to be able to go out and have friends, it seems so simple to the average person yet an impossibility for me
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
Razzlecherry said:
I feel rather annoyed and awkward. This morning I woke up with my roommate having a few friends in the room. Which terrified the fuzz out of me. They didn't leave until a little before 1 in the afternoon. So guess what weirdo Razzlecherry did? He stayed in the bed until they left, pretending to be asleep. A little after 9 am to a little before 1 pm I just laid in my bed pretending to sleep.

The worse part is the kids were commenting on me oversleeping, as if it's some kind of deranged act. The comments tore me up inside. I can't understand how they feel it's any of their concern, it's not like it's causing any problems. And besides, it's not like it's a common thing, which it isn't. The very first time.

Jeez, I can't stand having a roommate. I feel as if I have no privacy and feel uncomfortable being in the room with him. Thankfully, I'm going to end this crap.
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Yeah, having a roommate can be rough. I remember the beginning of last school year I was going through a really serious bout avoidance and was near my worst probably. I remember one time, my roommate had some people over, ones he had just met and he was talking to them, and then he introduced them to me. I was at my desk with my headphones on doing some homework. They started talking to me, saying hello and whatnot, and I totally ignored them as if I couldn't hear them with my headphones in. I could fully hear them of course. Pretty sure they knew as well, and one said "he's really into his work or something like that. You lose all privacy when having a roommate which is hard when all you want is time to yourself. I know I go through streaks when I need to recollect myself and just isolate from new people or experiences, was miserable to go through with a roommate. (I was such a horrible roommate he did switch 2 weeks into the semester, but that is neither here nor there :p)

dottie said:
kind of looking forward to the boy meets world spinoff :x
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WHAT?!?! err *regains composure* I mean...no, that is exactly what I meant. WHAT?!?! Dreams do come true :applause:

Edit: I just read a review for it, Eric Dies :crying:

Edit Edit: That was from the Onion, it seemed so real :eek:h:
 
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Arthur_Dent

Arthur_Dent

1
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G

GhastlyCC

Well-known member
I can't tell if the holiday season depresses me.
Or if being surrounded by such joy just makes my melancholy more apparent.
 
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dottie

dottie

Well-known member
^it's probably the deficiency of vitamin D from the lack of sun during the shortest days of the year. check out seasonal affective disorder.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
I'm going out with a friend tonight to some cocktail bar an hour away. Kinda just want to stay at home and wallow in my own sadness, but I'll be forced to go...which just might be a good thing. We'll see later tonight, I guess.
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
Do you ever wonder that when people have a partner/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend etc - in a relationship so to speak - do you ever wonder that they are thinking very quietly in the back of their mind - "who would I have ended up with, if I wasn't with this person - could I have done better? Could I have met someone who I connected with just a bit more than the person I am with now?"

I think people do. I think by making a choice - any choice at all - by virtue of making a decision, one is left wondering - what if.

But then again - I am pretty jaded about human relationships and intimacy and all that bull**** anyway.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
KiaKaha said:
Do you ever wonder that when people have a partner/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend etc - in a relationship so to speak - do you ever wonder that they are thinking very quietly in the back of their mind - "who would I have ended up with, if I wasn't with this person - could I have done better? Could I have met someone who I connected with just a bit more than the person I am with now?"

I think people do. I think by making a choice - any choice at all - by virtue of making a decision, one is left wondering - what if.

But then again - I am pretty jaded about human relationships and intimacy and all that bull**** anyway.
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I think the well known saying "The grass is always greener on the other side" can creep into your life in many situations as well as when your in a relationship. I don't believe (maybe I am as jaded as you) that there is the "ideal" partner out there for anyone.
 
JackOfSpades

JackOfSpades

Well-known member
BlueDays said:
I think the well known saying "The grass is always greener on the other side" can creep into your life in many situations as well as when your in a relationship. I don't believe (maybe I am as jaded as you) that there is the "ideal" partner out there for anyone.
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I don't believe in any ideal or "one" either. I think there are people who are genuinely happy enough or deeply in love enough not to wonder "what if". I'd like to be one too.
 
truffleshuffle

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
Raichel said:
*** dramatic post begins here

Just out of bed. I was lying in bed for about three hours thinking about Life. I came to the conclusion Life wants me to do a whole lot of things, but I don't really want all that much from Life. Doesn't seem like a fair deal to me.

Also realized my appearance seems to be the root of most of my mental issues. A great deal of SA stems from the way I look. I'm incredibly insecure about my body, my looks make me feel inferior to other people. It's not a case of BDD - I wish - but I've been told by multiple people I'm ugly. Even family and friends have said so (not directly). It's hard being an ugly female in this society. Not saying that being goodlooking is like having the world handed to you on a silver platter, but it sure helps a great deal lol.

I know I should be grateful for having a healthy body... I am... but... it's just not enough ok. I'm pretty sure no man would want to date someone as ugly as me, unless they were extremely desperate/drunk/stoned. Now here come the part where you tell me there are other qualities that are far more important than appearance. I don't believe it. The eye wants something as well. Real uglyness outmatches any other characteristics.

***end
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I won;t tell you that even though i think in some cases its true. I too have not been blessed with great looks or even good looks and have been told that many times as well. I think I am actualy wosre off than you because I don;t have a healthy body. I have arthritis from being hard on my body when I was younger I am overweight but working on that and I have psoriasis which is very bad on my face. Just keep trudging: the slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a man or woman who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on
 
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