Post your random thoughts/feelings etc

[Raichel]

@truffleshuffle:
I would be very happy with average looking, I don't even have to be good-looking. Wish I looked more human like, fed up with looking a skinny rat. All bones, no meat.

I'm sorry to hear you have health issues. I'm sorry for complaining about appearance. A healthy body should be the most beautiful thing now shouldn't it. Will it get better for you, or are those more of chronic problems?

 

[JackOfSpades]

I feel largely that my appearance contributes to my social anxiety too, and think that if I liked the way I look I wouldn't have this problem. But the truth is there are more valuable qualities, and many people don't care all that much what you look like but what you offer. If you can find a way to get passed your negative self bias long enough to socialize with people authentically, you'd soon realize that what people feel about you is not related to looks. And you may begin to see and understand that.

I know that may not sound like what you want if what you want is to be "gorgeous". But the point is that what you'll want and what you'll see you have will change. Even if you can't see that now.

 

[truffleshuffle]

@truffleshuffle:
I would be very happy with average looking, I don't even have to be good-looking. Wish I looked more human like, fed up with looking a skinny rat. All bones, no meat.

I'm sorry to hear you have health issues. I'm sorry for complaining about appearance. A healthy body should be the most beautiful thing now shouldn't it. Will it get better for you, or are those more of chronic problems?

Don;t be sorry for complaining about somehting this is the place to do that lol. I would be happy with average looks as well lol. My weight is the only thing that could get better which I am working on. I have gone from 260 down to 234 and working on atleast a weight of 200 as a goal for now. My arthritis is is going to stay for the most part mostly in my sholders and ankles from football and stuff but its not that bad. I also don;t think there is a cure for psoriasis which I wish there was. but Im dealing with everything the best I can

 

[Raichel]

If you can find a way to get passed your negative self bias long enough to socialize with people authentically, you'd soon realize that what people feel about you is not related to looks.

Uhm. If you don't mind me asking, how would one go about that? How did you manage to do that? (Sorry if it's personal, in that case ignore this message.)
:thinking:

 

[Raichel]

My weight is the only thing that could get better which I am working on. I have gone from 260 down to 234 and working on atleast a weight of 200 as a goal for now. My arthritis is is going to stay for the most part mostly in my sholders and ankles from football and stuff but its not that bad. I also don;t think there is a cure for psoriasis which I wish there was. but Im dealing with everything the best I can

Kudos to you for keeping your head up and losing weight. :thumbup: I hope you can reach your goals, you seem to be a hard worker with a positive attitude. Can I borrow some of that perseverance lol? =P

 

[JackOfSpades]

Uhm. If you don't mind me asking, how would one go about that? How did you manage to do that? (Sorry if it's personal, in that case ignore this message.)
:thinking:

For me, through DBT. Most of this stuff relates to CBT or DBT. Learning to manage your associations, negative bias, irrational thought. And overwhelming feelings, which for me can come often and hard.

Social Phobia isn't about what's "real". It's a phobia which means by definition that it's largely irrational. It's an issue, in my opinion, predominantly of faulty cognitions. I spent forever before delving into cognitive therapy too, but I think the social phobics cognition is something that can't go unaddressed.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I feel largely that my appearance contributes to my social anxiety too, and think that if I liked the way I look I wouldn't have this problem.

I'm the same way because I can be social when I'm around people who I don't feel inferior to due to my looks.

But the truth is there are more valuable qualities, and many people don't care all that much what you look like but what you offer. If you can find a way to get passed your negative self bias long enough to socialize with people authentically, you'd soon realize that what people feel about you is not related to looks. And you may begin to see and understand that.

It's refreshing to hear this come from a man's mouth, although I have to admit it's hard to believe when I read here all the time about men wanting an "attractive" or "hot" woman. It doesn't seem to matter if you are smart, funny, kind, accomplished, etc. If you're not physically attractive, those qualities don't count for very much - they're merely "icing on the cake" if you are attractive. But, you give us hope! :thumbup:

 

[Raichel]

It's refreshing to hear this come from a man's mouth, although I have to admit it's hard to believe when I read here all the time about men wanting an "attractive" or "hot" woman. It doesn't seem to matter if you are smart, funny, kind, accomplished, etc. If you're not physically attractive, those qualities don't count for very much - they're merely "icing on the cake" if you are attractive. But, you give us hope! :thumbup:

Agreed with the above. Thanks, JackOfSpades; I'm also going to look into DBT. ^^

 

[twiggle]

Overall it's been quite a rubbishy week to be honest, but I'm excited for my date tomorrow. Usually I get a bit nervous, but not this time... because I don't mind how it goes. Also there's the benefit that he's hot (shallow joy within )

 

[1BlackSheep]

Usually I get a bit nervous, but not this time... because I don't mind how it goes.

That's a good attitude to have - less expectation, less disappointment if it doesn't go as hoped. I hope it does go well for you though!

 

[twiggle]

That's a good attitude to have - less expectation, less disappointment if it doesn't go as hoped. I hope it does go well for you though!

Thank you BlackSheep I don't really mind either way, it's just nice to meet somebody new and find out about them.

I wrote my post before and then saw the previous posts about there being more to people than looks... guess my post probably made me look like one of those shallow people... I don't care just about looks, but it is a nice bonus sometimes hehe.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I wrote my post before and then saw the previous posts about there being more to people than looks... guess my post probably made me look like one of those shallow people... I don't care just about looks, but it is a nice bonus sometimes hehe.

I didn't think you were being shallow because I know for you, looks are just a bonus! And I would agree with that!

 

[MrJones]

Focusing in uni is tiring but I'm getting the best grades I've ever had, including four 100% in a row :bigsmile:

Also, my robotics teacher invited us all for a free coffee after the race my team almost wins.

Plus, Microsoft gave all the students in my university a free license for Windows 8 Professional.

Can't complain!

 

[KiaKaha]

Looks certainly help - on nearly every level of human interaction. In fact appearance matters just as much - no matter what you ultimately look like. I kind of feel bad for people who are not very good looking - and I feel frustrated at society for treating some people differently based on this fact.

-awaits to be shown realization-

And yeah - keep expectations down. As low as you possibly can. Never expect anything from anyone - That way you never get hurt or disappointed.

 

[truffleshuffle]

Looks certainly help - on nearly every level of human interaction. In fact appearance matters just as much - no matter what you ultimately look like. I kind of feel bad for people who are not very good looking - and I feel frustrated at society for treating some people differently based on this fact.

-awaits to be shown realization-

And yeah - keep expectations down. As low as you possibly can. Never expect anything from anyone - That way you never get hurt or disappointed.

You are right life is sometimes crul to us that don;t have the best of looks but life is crul to everyone at some point although no matter what even with expectations down as low as possibly there is aways hurt and disappointment I just don;t think you can run away from that.

 

[JackOfSpades]

There are some pretty successful people that not many of us would choose to look like.

 

[Opaline]

December 1st is upon us in approximately 2 hours and 15 minutes

In my part of the world, anyway.

Yikes!

 

[coyote]

December 1st is upon us in approximately 2 hours and 15 minutes

In my part of the world, anyway.

Yikes!

less than 3 weeks 'til the apocalypse erfect:

 

[MikeyC]

Overall it's been quite a rubbishy week to be honest, but I'm excited for my date tomorrow. Usually I get a bit nervous, but not this time... because I don't mind how it goes. Also there's the benefit that he's hot (shallow joy within )

I hope your date goes well.

Focusing in uni is tiring but I'm getting the best grades I've ever had, including four 100% in a row :bigsmile:

Wow, that's incredible, no matter what you're studying. Fantastic effort. All your hard work is paying off.

December 1st is upon us in approximately 2 hours and 15 minutes

In my part of the world, anyway.

Yikes!

Living in the past, Opal. Already afternoon on December 1st here!

less than 3 weeks 'til the apocalypse erfect:

Bring it on.

 

[BlackPuma]

Lol. Shaved my head. Now I'm bald.