Today I hung out with my friend. I haven't hung out with anyone in a long time. I wore the same shirt and jeans as the last time we went to visit a space station 5-6 years ago. I don't know if she remembers it but we took pictures and the shirt and pants I wore were exactly the same. Anyways, we went to see "The Heat" which was funny but throughout the whole movie, I was anxious that someone's gonna come into the theatre and shoot up people like in the screening of Batman. That didn't happen thank God.
After that we walked the mall and went inside stores searching for clothes to buy. Man, it is hard to pick out clothes! I don't have a good eye for fashion and struggled with what to buy. Thankfully friend was there and helped me a bit. There were some good-looking shirts but I don't know what to wear them with. Some of the clothes were freakin expensive, like $30 each at Macy's.
My friend knew it was my b-day so she gave me a card and a flash drive with big storage. I feel bad for not giving her anything for her b-day which is months back.
While we were ordering food and eating lunch at the lunch court, I feel so self-conscious and anxious. Several times I could feel myself shaking but tried not to look weird. Plus I was afraid of accidentally staring at other people so I kept on looking at my friend and at the food. Ordering and eating lunch was the most anxious part of the day for me, but I really tried hard to keep a conversation going and chat up my friend so that she won't get bored.
I opened up to my friend about social anxiety and taking online classes, which is embarassing to admit. I'm proud of myself for telling the truth. I'm glad she was there for support. If I had to go shopping by myself in a mall, I would freak out.
Today was a big accomplishment for me. It's a step forward. It wasn't so bad overall. But throughout it all, I had thoughts like "end this and go home quick." Now that I'm back home, I'm very drained and need to rest for the day.
